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PURGE #1: James Earl Carter

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Comrades Attention!

I hearby summon the Politburo, de facto, de jure!

It is has been deemed therefore necessary to summon the Politburo for proactive resolve in purging the Revolution and the Party of a certain James Earl Carter, husband of Rosalynn, father of Chip & Amy (remember Chip? ha ha ha. Snuck that one in on ya!), brother of Billy, worthy father the "Billy Beer" Dynasty, and a half-million other Redneck Carpetbagging Cracker Cousins. (I should know, I married one, those two share a genome or three).

The Defendant may not speak at the procedings.

He shall be allowed to read and speak out loud a prepared confession of his Crimes against the State, once found guilty.

Let the 2005 Purge Season Begin!

It's for the Common Good™

 

 

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The Defendant may not speak at the procedings.

How do you propose to silence the traitor?? He's been out of office for 25 years and hasn't shut up since! He has extreme diarhea of the mouth; can we look forward (with glee!) to extreme methods?? Like neutering his vocal cords? We can revise the notion of "the night of the long knives" and take care of a few other Comrades-In-Name-Only like Teddy <hic!> Kennedy and Chucky-baby Schumer all at once! These pigs are greedy posers who DO NOT have the best interests of the Revolution in mind.

Oh! and of course we worship you, dahling!!

Heil Hillary!

 

 

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Which execution method will be used once he is found guilty? I sugest the guillotine.

 

 

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Preview
7/21/2005, 2:18 pm
I am glad to see Kommissar Betty and Private (Pfc.) Pravda has shown up!
 Proceedings will not begin until all members of the Politburo have reported.
 Once that has been achieved, the Articles of Denouncement shall be entered as evidence. Each Politburo member is allowed three regular trumped-up charges, for each charge after the first three, extra rations of vodka and larger apartment space will be rewarded depending upon the merit of the charge.
 After each member has entered their Articles of Denouncement, a guilty sentence shall be passed by me and the non-person C. may if he so chooses (and he will) make a public confession, whereupon non -person C. can make charges if he likes, against recidivist reactionaries such as Schumer and Kennedy, therefore continuing the purge process.
 If no such charges are made by C., sentencing is rendered by the Politburo and a vote is taken as to what form of punishment is appropriate.
 I see Kommissar Betty would like a guillotine. Being the favorite method of the French, this just may be the method approved since non-person C. was fond of slobbering French and embarrasing the country with his "Malaise" speech.

https://www.rightwingnews.com/speeches/carter.php

I'm looking forward to Purge Season. Ahhh....the smell of fear, the sweat on the foreheads, the glaring Klieg lights, the flowing tears, the begging pleas for mercy...I don't know about you, but it gives me goose-steps errrr...I mean goose bumps and a warm fuzzy feeling that my cold blooded reptillian hypothalamus really enjoys, like a snake sunning itself on a warm, flat rock.

Ok, enough sentimentality.

Let's round up the Politburo and I'd like these proceeding to begin Monday July 25th, 2005.

 

 

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My three trupted-up charges against non-person J. Carter would be as follows:

CHARGE 1. Digging a tunnel from the basement of The Carter Center in Atlanta, Georgia to Havana, Cuba, for undetected consultations with Cuban leaders. Not only did he try to sway them to his side, he kept it a secret from the Party and its Leader, Hillary. In addition, the tunnel was possibly meant to be an escape route for occasions like this one.

CHARGE 2. Endangering the life and well-being of a swimming killer rabbit by shooing it off with a paddle. The ensuing emotional trauma resulted in an erectile dysfunction and the inability of the swimming killer rabbit to reproduce, thus wiping off another rare species off the face of the earth.

CHARGE 3.
1946, as an officer in the Navy’s first experimental nuclear submarine, his duty was to watch over the particles in the nuclear reactor, making sure they do not collide with one another, and if they do collide, they do it in a non-confrontational manner, without hurting themselves. But he often played with himself in close proximity of the reactor, neglecting his duties. This caused him to miss some colliding particles, which generated energy to propel the submarine forward - thus leading to the "success" of the experiment and the folowing creation of an entire nuclear submarine fleet in the service of reactionary imperialist forces.

 

 

Ramsey Clark
Greetings from Iraq.  Saddam sends his regards.

That Jimmy Carter and other former United States officials (read J. F. Kerry) must have lawyers of their choice to assist them in defending against the criminal charges brought against them ought to be self-evident among a people committed to truth, justice and the rule of law.

Both international law and the Constitution of the United States guarantee the right to effective legal representation to any person accused of a crime. This is especially important in a highly politicized situation, where truth and justice can become even harder to achieve. That's certainly the situation today on The Peoples' Cube.

I therefore agree to represent James Earl Carter in this matter versus The Peoples' Cube and Hillary Clinton.  If asked, I will also represent J. F.  Kerry.

Sincerely,

Ramsey Clark
11 Jihad Way
Fallujah, Iraq

 

 

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Dear Red Square,

 Is that all? Wouldn't you like a bigger apartment and a little more Stoli?


Hillary

 

 

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Rammy Ramsey!

Duh.....this a purge you idiot, not a criminal trial. Guilt has already been established, it's just to what degree of guilt. Kerry has already been purged, you simpering dolt. You're another one who just won't go away or shut-up. Jeeze, how old are you? You gotta be in your nineties. Well, maybe you'll get lucky and C. will "drop the dime" and finger you and you won't have to worry about reaching 100 years old.


https://shadow.autono.net/sin001/clark.htm


Hillary

 

 

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Dear Hillary,

Modesty does not allow me to jump over the heads of my fellow comrades who may yet come up with the most beautiful, bizarre and outlandish charges in the best traditions of Stalin's jurisprudence. Being the first to voice my anti-Carter charges (please note my readiness and expedience), I don't want to intimidate others into thinking they wouldn't be able to match my inventions with their own.

While lowering standards and aiming for the lowest common denominator is a desired practice in public schools, it is really out of place when it comes to your personal matters, such as, building your home, or destroying your enemies. I realize that. I promise to come up with more charges after all the comrades have spoken.

Red Square

 

 


 

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oo!! oo!! OOOO!!! I have the perfect punishment!!!

Let's take a page from Comrade Uday (who died at the hands of the pig Bush)...I am intrigued with the "Death by Plastic Recycling Shredder" method, dah??!

He's guilty already!! To the shredder!!

Heil Hillary!

XXOO
P.P.

 

 

Zinoviev
Outstanding!

Red Square is like pure silver! Bright and carefully refined!
He really knows how to purge.
The league hasn't seen a purgeball like that since 1937.
Look for Red to be in the 2005 World Series of Purge!

https://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/RUSzinoviev.htm

Z

 

 

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[html]RE:  Purge of James Earl Carter

Summary of accusations with appropriate penal code citations:

Under penal code 58-1: Definition of counter-revolutionary activity, I hereby accuse Former Party Member Carter of:

#1.  Obvious attempt to undermine the authority of the Politburo through attacks on one Hillary Clinton (see https://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=170).  A violation of code * 58-2 (Armed uprising or intervention with the goal to seize power).  

<b>Penalty: up to death with confiscation</b>, including formal recognition as "enemy of workers".

#2.  Attemps to usurp the authority of the Politburo through scurrilous attacks on one Hillary Clinton (again see https://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=170), a clear violation of code * 58-10 (Counter-revolutionary propaganda and agitation).

<b>Penalty</b>: up to 6 months of imprisonment. <b>In the conditions of unrest or war: same as 58.2.</b>

While there are more charges, they are superfluous.[/html]

 

 

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Please may I request that the blowhard Teddy <hic> K be purged as well?? He hogs all the press that rightly belongs to Hil, no? Sucks all the Free People's oxygen right out of the room...not to mention the Stoli!!! Swine bastard of a Capitalist pig!!

KEGGER AT MY APARTMENT!!

Heil Hillary

 

 

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Good links, Comrades K & Z!

Yes, this reminds me of the good old days. We shall let all the comrades speak, Then we shall select the best charges and in the end will nicely ask the defendant to repeat them in public - in a casual manner - giving no evidence of having been coached, parroting confessions painfully memorized in advance, or of being under any sort of duress. We have his family, after all. Here's what Kamenev had to say at his trial.
----------------------
Lev Kamenev, speech at his trial (August, 1936):

I Kamenev, together with Zinoviev and Trotsky, organised and guided this conspiracy. My motives? I had become convinced that the party's - Stalin's policy - was successful and victorious. We, the opposition, had banked on a split in the party; but this hope proved groundless. We could no longer count on any serious domestic difficulties to allow us to overthrow Stalin's leadership. We were actuated by boundless hatred and by lust of power.


The Observer, (23rd August, 1936) finds this confession believable:

It is futile to think the trial was staged and the charges trumped up. The government's case against the defendants (Zinoviev and Kamenev) is genuine.


The New Republic (2nd September, 1936) is as close to the truth as it is today:

Some commentators, writing at a long distance from the scene, profess doubt that the executed men (Zinoviev and Kamenev) were guilty. It is suggested that they may have participated in a piece of stage play for the sake of friends or members of their families, held by the Soviet government as hostages and to be set free in exchange for this sacrifice. We see no reason to accept any of these laboured hypotheses, or to take the trial in other than its face value. (....) The defendants gave no evidence of having been coached, parroting confessions painfully memorized in advance, or of being under any sort of duress.

 

 

Ramsey Clark
[html]James Earl Carter is currently boycotting The Peoples' Cube.  He has asked that I read a statement on his behalf:

"I have been accused of horrible crimes.  This rush to accuse can only be considered a mass hysteria stoked by the red-hot prod of ignorance.  In effect, this is the result of a crisis.

We can see this crisis in the growing doubt about the meaning of our own lives and in the loss of a unity of purpose. The erosion of our confidence in the future is threatening to destroy the social and the political fabric of our website, and of the USSA.  In my time, I have seen things that <a href="https://www.ufoevidence.org/documents/doc782.htm" target="_blank">few could imagine</a>.  I have been <a href="https://www.conservativetruth.org/archi ... 9-02.shtml" target="_blank">attacked</a> for implementation of my sound vision.  Yet I weathered storms bravely, standing firm on principle.

Indeed, these new allegations, from former friends and allies, have brought me to my knees.

I ask all members of the Politburo to consider my service to the collective before acting rashly."


Doch, Mein Gott in Himmel! Get a doctor quick! Somebody call NIH and the WHO. (no, not Pete and Roger, you oaf!) I haven't seen a deadly "Malaise Fever" outbreak since 1979. This man needs quarantined immediately! I believe C. has infected this Ramsey Clark purposely with it. The symptoms are there......blathering, wimpering, snivelling. Send for Doctor Fuku immediately!

That's an order! Move dammit before the Whole Committee of the Cube is infected

Hillary[/html]

 

 

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I suggest that as punishment we "send" non-person Carter on a space exploration mission to the Red Planet where he shall heroically perish for the Greater Good™

https://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=158

 

 

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Who is Carter??? did he ever really exist?

Heil Hill

 

 

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The Revolutionary Manual: "The Vanishing Commissars."
(where Orwell learned his craft from)

https://www.newseum.org/berlinwall/comm ... /index.htm

Watch enemies disappear one after another in museum pictures.
AND THIS WAS BEFORE PHOTOSHOP!!!

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And this -

https://www.hooverdigest.org/982/conquest.html

Image

 

 

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The Propaganda Directorate prepares for purges...

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Interesting technique
The void left by purging comrade J.C. from the photo above drew the salt-and-pepper hair of a bystander further into the picture!

Is that not the bestial "Rosalyn" next to our fearless philanderer B.C.?  If so, mustn't she be purged (from the photo at least) as well?

Is that not our own beloved Lenin in the lower left corner?  I would recognize his bald pate anywhere.


Nobody ever noticed Rosalynn, or Chip for that matter, hell, he a had a whole slew of kids nobody ever knew or cared about. I think there's a James Earl Carter Jr. somewhere.  No, don't bother, it's just extra work. Nobody gives a hoot.

Hillary

 

 

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I have selected a few charges out of a list that originally consisted of 3,908 1/2.

Charge #1: Mr. Carter failed to show up for re-education after being told to if he   ever wanted to be able to assimilate into society again.
Punishment= I like the idea of death by plastic recycling machine.

Charge #2: Mr. Carter looks funny and many people would like to have him purged and removed from all pictures so they don't have to look at his face.
Punishment= Having his face gnawed off by wild boars.

Charge #3: I want a chance to test out my New Guillotine Mark VII.
Punishment= Death by Kommissar Betty's Mark VII Guillotine.

Charge #4: He has the name "Jimmy".
Punishment= He has to have surgery to make him look like a child, and then spend a week at Neverland Ranch.


Damn you're a hard-ass! Neverland Ranch! Talk about cruel and unusual! Kommissar Betty, you make me blush! Nice touch on the shredder, boars....oh I get it now! A "Bore" eaten by "boars"! Ha ha ha ha!!! and the Guillotine, but "Neverland"? Damn.....you're bucking for another promotion, aren't you K.B.?

Hillary


P.S. the extra Stoli is on it's way for your bonus charge.

 

 

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DID I HEAR "MALAISE FEVER!"   This is MORE SERIOUS THAN I THOUGHT.

In fact, malaise fever was eradicated in the late 1970's through careful handwashing.  It now returns and threatens to engulf us all.

Malaise fever is similar in nature to "hysterical ablepsy," "nondescript bloody flux," "catalepsy" and "falling sickness."

The treatment is complex.  While mercuric tonic with injections of saltpeter usually do the trick, one must attack at the source.  You see, like vampirism, malaise fever can be cured by eliminating the original bearer of the malaise (and perhaps his current counsel).  Therefore, I must pronounce a death sentence on one James Earl Carter out of medical necessity!

 

 

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****URGENT COMMUNIQUE FROM THE GLOBAL FRONT FOR HEALTHCARE****

Do not panic.  There has been an outbreak of "malaise fever."  As you well know, this highly contagious illness can lead to "spongiform encephalopathy," as well as paralysis of the higher order mental functions.  To avoid infection, maintain a safe distance from bearers of malaise.  The Global Front is working on a permanent solution to the problem with help from our political leaders.

 

 

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Charge #1: Mr. Carter failed to show up for re-education after being told to if he   ever wanted to be able to assimilate into society again.
Punishment= I like the idea of death by plastic recycling machine.

Something just screams "Get 'er done!!" doesn't it?? This will be fun to watch...

Heil The Almighty and Powerful Hillary

 

 

Dog of a Beggar's Dog
INFIDEL!!! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!

 

 

Ramsey Clark
President Carter has given me the authority to attempt to plea bargain.

I therefore plead insanity on his behalf, and wish to enter several exhibits.

Let us begin with EXHIBIT A

 

 

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Your Highness Hillary, members of the Politburo.

I move to that the evidence marked Exhibit A be stricken from the record.
It is well known and documented in the Kremlin from my flight log that I was on routine survaillance of C. and the State Capitol of Georgia during the month of October 1969. What C. mistakenly reported as a UFO was actually our new superior Stealth Orbiter, the Mark IV Kirov, which only today can we publically speak of.
I must admit astonishment though, honored members. We never once thought that C. would actually look up to the sky and notice us watching him since he is world reknown for naval-gazing:

https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/carter/pe ... laise.html

His reporting of the incident actually hurt world socialism because it set our program back three years, until the Mark V Kirov could be ready for service. Only then could we watch C. without worrying that he'd actually stop staring at his belly-button and look up. During that time C. was able to gain political power by becoming the Governor of Georgia, using that as a springboard to become President.

Respectfully submitted,
Laika the Space Dog.


I see no need for a second on the motion Laika, after all, this is a purge and as Hero Dog of World Socialism, your word is the truth!

Dr. Fuku, has this Ramsey Clark character been properly treated for his Malaise Fever? I am hoping he didn't sneak onto the site without his shots.

Hillary

 

 

User avatar
The charges I level at C. are:

1. Being a dumbass 1 term leader of the free world.
2. Spreading Malaise Fever.
3. Being the worst Commander in Chief ever; even Johnson did a better job and that was WAY BAD.

Speaking of LBJ, it's a damn shame he ain't around to purge...what a jackass...what a dipsh*t...I suppose he's still digging up the dead vote...can we purge Lady Bird instead?

Oh yes, and Heil Hillary!

 

 

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Ramsey Clark wrote:President Carter has given me the authority to attempt to plea bargain.

I therefore plead insanity on his behalf, and wish to enter several exhibits.

Let us begin with EXHIBIT A

That's the best you got??

Heil Hill, we love you dahling

 

 


 

User avatar
Today, July 25th 2005, I do therefore commence the official Purge of one James Earl Carter, known fornicator and luster of women, spreader of the deadly Malaise Fever, conjuror of falsified UFO sightings, paddle harrasser of Swamp Rabbits, imbiber of Billy Beer, father of Chip, and general all around loser except for beating Teddy and Jerry. (Hey! even a blind pig finds a truffle now and then!)

Before I pass the guilty sentence are there anymore bonus charges from the Politburo?

Hillary

 

 

Ramsey Clark
[html]I have one last chance to save my client, and I will pull out all the stops.  It is a known fact that my client suffers from Malaise Fever.  However, he should be pitied and isolated, not purged.  In addition, his brain has been addled by exposure to Rosalynn's toxic perfume, Billy's "rot burps" and constant explosive methane discharges, and paint fumes from decorating habitats.

I submit one FINAL EXHIBIT (EXHIBIT B below).  This interview with Chris Matthews, in which my client retroactively opposes the Revolutionary War, proves that he is completely deranged.  Even I wouldn't campaign against the Revolutionary War!

MATTHEWS: Let me ask you the question about-this is going to cause some trouble with people-but as an historian now and studying the Revolutionary War as it was fought out in the South in those last years of the War, insurgency against a powerful British force, do you see any parallels between the fighting that we did on our side and the fighting that is going on in Iraq today?

CARTER: Well, one parallel is that the Revolutionary War, more than any other war up until recently, has been the most bloody war we've fought. I think another parallel is that in some ways the Revolutionary War could have been avoided. It was an unnecessary war.

Had the British Parliament been a little more sensitive to the colonial's really legitimate complaints and requests the war could have been avoided completely, and of course now we would have been a free country now as is Canada and India and Australia, having gotten our independence in a nonviolent way

CARTER:  I don‘t think it‘s ever been proven to be accurate as a premise that you can go into an alien society, win with force of arms, destroying a major portion of that country and killing their people to make them adopt a new form of government and to accept new rulers.

Obviously, the only way out of this <b>quagmire</b> that we have formed in Iraq now is to have some guarantee of withdrawal of American troops and turning their premises of the Iraqis over to them politically and to the international community to help on an equal basis and a shared basis with many allies both in economic and military concerns in the future.

The defense rests.  Purge if you must.  My client will submit to any punishment you prescribe.  He asks that if corporal punishment is meted out, that he be crucified in the manner to which he has become accustomed in his fantasies.  If needed, he has a script of his own crucifiction which you may use.[/html]

 

 

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Did I hear CRUCIFICTION?

Boy oh boy!  It has been a LONG time since I supervised at a medically necessary crucifiction!  I have goosey-bumps all over, and my eye is twitching again!  I never thought it would.

Dear Ramsey, please forward your client's request to me!  I have not indulged in juicy tales of thorny hats and whips for some time!

Certainly, dear Hillary, my vote is for crucifiction, and not just for selfish reasons (but that goes without saying).

Your humble servant

Dr. Fuku

 

 

User avatar
Did I hear CRUCIFICTION?
YESSS! excellent idea!

 

 

User avatar
Umm.......Am I detecting a little irony here? cruci"fiction"? Death by tall tales? Like the killer rabbit and the UFO?

I am ruling out crucifixion since old martyr boy C. would perversely enjoy that and this is about punishment.

I am, however, willing to listen to this idea of "crucifiction".

But first, let's not jump the gun, I am sure other charges and ideas are going to be brought forth. Patience, my dears, Patience!

Hillary

 

 

Ramsey Clark
RE:  A new message from the President

Dear Politburo,

The first "Peoples' President" has recorded a special message for all of you.  He knows that his time is short, but would ask that all listen and try to understand his viewpoint.

Just CLICK HERE for the message that will change your lives.

 

 

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Ramsey Clarke wrote:RE:  A new message from the President

Dear Politburo,

The first "Peoples' President" has recorded a special message for all of you.  He knows that his time is short, but would ask that all listen and try to understand his viewpoint.

Just CLICK HERE for the message that will change your lives.

It appears we have exceded the People's bandwidth atm...site down...

 

 

THE INTERNET
Daisy. . .Day. . .see

Jimmy?  Jimmy?  I can't see. . .Jimmy?. . .What are you doing Jimmy?  Mal. . .aise?

 

 

We interrupt this Purge
to bring you a special announcement!

Are you a liberal politician?
Feeling tired all the time?
Your get up and go, got up and went?
Weak on defense?


These are the symtoms of ED.
Electile Dysfunction.
Electile Dysfunction is no laughing matter.
ED is brought on by prolonged exposure to Malaise Fever.
Sufferers usually experience a single limp term in office, never to be respected again.


But there is hope........

Conservatalis TM

Conservatalis TM lets you think again, for your own self, make decisions that have spine, and gives you respect among decent American people.
Conservatalis TM lets you hold your head up with pride, so you can stop that annoying naval gazing.
Conservatalis TM gives you leadership in the Cabinet Room and the bed room.


Call your doctor today and see if you're ready for Conservatalis TM

(If the electile lasts more than 4 hours or 4 years, it's OK, no need to go to the hospital, you might see a second term)

 

 

User avatar
We interrupt this Purge wrote:to bring you a special announcement!

Are you a liberal politician?
Feeling tired all the time?
Your get up and go, got up and went?
Weak on defense?


These are the symtoms of ED.
Electile Dysfunction.
Electile Dysfunction is no laughing matter.
ED is brought on by prolonged exposure to Malaise Fever.
Sufferers usually experience a single limp term in office, never to be respected again.


But there is hope........

Conservatalis TM

Conservatalis TM lets you think again, for your own self, make decisions that have spine, and gives you respect among decent American people.
Conservatalis TM lets you hold your head up with pride, so you can stop that annoying naval gazing.
Conservatalis TM gives you leadership in the Cabinet Room and the bed room.


Call your doctor today and see if you're ready for Conservatalis TM

(If the electile lasts more than 4 hours or 4 years, it's OK, no need to go to the hospital, you might see a second term)

I denounce you! This is a PURGE, dammit! NOT a capitalist pig money-making commercialization OF a Purge!!! I think re-education is in order!!

 

 

User avatar
That or a smack upside the head with a shovel.

 

 

User avatar
Dammit Bagdad Bob, I told you the purge was to be broadcast on PBS, not Fox News. If you're skimming some cash of the top, I'm gonna crush your balls like a Barvarian Nutcracker!

Heil when you smile,
Hillary

 

 

User avatar
Dearest Comrade Hillary,

I am prepared to make my charges against C.

1) Giving the Panama Canal away so the Chinese could steal it before Hillary had a chance to do the same.
2) Turning me in and ratting to the International UFO Foundation.
3) Not sharing any cocaine with Chief of Staff Hamilton Jordan or his Drug Czar, Peter Bourne. I submit a paragraph from author Dan Baum's "Smoke and Mirrors":
"Carter would be disgraced by his staff. His drug czar, Peter Bourne, made an appearance at a NORML Christmas party in 1978, enjoying some cocaine while he was there. Bourne further embarrassed Carter when he was caught writing a prescription for sleeping pills for one of his staff under a fraudulent name. White House Chief of Staff Hamilton Jordan was allegedly seen snorting coke at the chic Studio 54 club in New York, and when another story broke that Bourne had prescribed an "obesity drug" for Jordan two years before, it looked like our government was being run by a bunch of dopers."

Bonus charges:

1) Killing the cardigan sweater market before it could become socialized.
2) Not inviting Arafat to Camp David
3) Bouncing checks at Bert Lance's bank
4) Three Mile Island
5) Boycotting my good friend, Misha the Bear.


Being the selfless socialist, and friend of the people, I hearby donate my entire bonus rations of Stoli and apartment space to the Kommissars Retirement Community found exclusively at "The Dachas at Potempkin Village ".

Humble and lovable,
Laika the Space Dog

 

 

Zinoviev
I think we damn well heard enough!
Let the recidivist recant, confess, and onto the punishment phase!


Z

 

 

Kamenev
Despicable!
There is no hope for you, C.



K

 

 

Roland Friesler
You're all a bunch of Communist sissies, I should know I used to be one.

https://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/GERfriesler.htm


Rollie

 

 

User avatar
Laika the Space Dog wrote:Dearest Comrade Hillary,

I am prepared to make my charges against C.

1) Giving the Panama Canal away so the Chinese could steal it before Hillary had a chance to do the same.
2) Turning me in and ratting to the International UFO Foundation.
3) Not sharing any cocaine with Chief of Staff Hamilton Jordan or his Drug Czar, Peter Bourne. I submit a paragraph from author Dan Baum's "Smoke and Mirrors":
"Carter would be disgraced by his staff. His drug czar, Peter Bourne, made an appearance at a NORML Christmas party in 1978, enjoying some cocaine while he was there. Bourne further embarrassed Carter when he was caught writing a prescription for sleeping pills for one of his staff under a fraudulent name. White House Chief of Staff Hamilton Jordan was allegedly seen snorting coke at the chic Studio 54 club in New York, and when another story broke that Bourne had prescribed an "obesity drug" for Jordan two years before, it looked like our government was being run by a bunch of dopers."

Bonus charges:

1) Killing the cardigan sweater market before it could become socialized.
2) Not inviting Arafat to Camp David
3) Bouncing checks at Bert Lance's bank
4) Three Mile Island
5) Boycotting my good friend, Misha the Bear.


Being the selfless socialist, and friend of the people, I hearby donate my entire bonus rations of Stoli and apartment space to the Kommissars Retirement Community found exclusively at "The Dachas at Potempkin Village TM".

Humble and lovable,
Laika the Space Dog

Leave it to The People's Hero and Best Friend to exactly define the pig non-person C.'s offenses so eloquenlty...enough bullsh*t! Off with his nuts! (Not you, Comrade Laika!)

Smilin' while Heilin',

P.P.

 

 

Dr. Evil
So what the frick is going on here? I thought this was a frickin' purge??? Where's the beef? Where's the blood?? Where are the pictures of C. getting humped by the Homies  in cell block 6? Do I have to show you people how to fricking purge??

Please allow me the pleasure of preparing C. for the purge...there really is nothing like a shaved scrotum...the Homies will be pleased...muahaha, muahahahaha, MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

 

 

User avatar
Thanks, but no thanks, Dr. Evil. Are you aware we're talking about Jmmy Carter? You can't shave what doesn't exist. That's like thanking the French for saving the world from tyranny. Well. enough chit-chat.

OK, it's been a week already. Boy time flies! This isn't the Jacko or OJ trial, so let's get on with it:

I am sick and tired of limp wristed, whiney, one term worms who keep trying to steal my spotlight. A certain person who won't go away. Hell's road paver of good intentions. Habitat for Halibut and Gardens for Gerbils. Mouth breathing naval gazer! Malaise fer Chrissakes! OK, Mr. Peanut here it comes.................


GUILTY on every count

James Earl Carter!

You may now speak your confession and denounce others, as long as that doesn't include honored members of the Politburo and The Peoples Cube. After your confession, said members will decide the punishment.

You may now grovel and wimper.

 

 

Sorry Komrade Hilary but I was travelign to New Jersey in the recent days.

You can be assured my loyalty still remains true.  I am reporting for duty.  My legions in  Nashville, and Ridgewood await.  At your command, I shall purge these areas clean!

 

 

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What's that you say Jimmy? I can't hear you. Speak up! The rest of the Peoples Cube can't hear you either. Quit mumbling dammit! Stand up straight! Look at me while I'm talking to you. Jeezus, he's fallen asleep.

Red Square, go over to C. and give him a couple of quick face slaps.

The sh!# I put up with....

 

 

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Red Square, go over to C. and give him a couple of quick face slaps.
or as Kommisar Betty would say, a slap upside the head with a shovel :)

Heil Hillary

 

 

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Whisper whisper whisper. He's unresponsive?

What's that? whisper whisper whisper You don't say? whisper whisper whisper.

Comrade Red Square said that Dr. Fuku is vacationing on the Black Sea in Crimea.
Is there a doctor in the purge? Somebody, please. We need a doctor! He can't croak before the punishment phase, we've got to keep him alive!

 

 

Dr. Evil
Allow me to fill in for the good Dr. (??!!) Fuku...get it?? "good Dr."...Dr. Evil...muahahaha...oh ahem...back to the business of reviving C.

a bit of buggery perhaps...that's it...there he's smiling...oh dammit! it figures he's liking it...quick! get me a razor!

 

 

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Must... stop... regurgitation... reflex....

 

 

Dr. Evil
hmmm...Dr. "FeelGood" Evil's hot meat injection is taking affect...he's all yours, Hill.

 

 

A Fellow Traveler.
Children, children, children!

A purge is a purge. You don't need 3 charges! You're still thinking like the bourgious class.

"To send men to the firing squad, judicial proof is unnecessary. These procedures are an archaic bourgeois detail. This is a revolution! And a revolutionary must become a cold killing machine motivated by pure hate."
                                    E. Che Guevera
                                    Everyone's Hero

Just line 'em up. Everyone gets a bullet.

Ciao


CO, the DOD



Che, my darling.....I must tell you....You're sooooooo cli-Che!

xxooo pant pant
Hillary

 

 

Ramsey Clark
Why have I been denied access to my client?

 

 

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Hello all!

Sorry about the delay -- I forgot my beeper in my other pants, and my cell was out of range (after all, what wireless phone works in the face of high voltage at 800 feet below sea level?)  But I digress!

I have examined one James Earl Carter personally.  After much persuasion, the subject admitted to malingering to avoid the final phase of sentencing!  In addition, the former party member FULLY ADMITTED THE FOLLOWING:

1.  Intentional spreading of Malaise Fever
2.  Fornicating and lusting after women
3.  Falsifying UFO sightings
4.  Harassing Swamp Rabbits with a paddle
5.  Intentionally fathering and naming son "Chip"
6.  The murder of William Alton "Billy" Carter (this was a shocker to even me!)
7.  Sassy talk aimed at one Hillary C. (I saved the worst offense for last).

Hillary, I am just a humble man of simple means.  I stand with the people in the mire of human illness and frailty, working daily to cure the illnesses of the heroes of the revolution.  I am not the one who must pass judgement on our common patient.

However, there is no doubt in my mind that this man is guilty.

I have my men working on our sickly pale ex-friend.  He will be capable of whimpering shortly.

Best

Leonid

 

 

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Thank you Dr. Fuku & Dr. Evil.

Now let's hear the confession from the Bunny-bashing malaise malingerer.
Speak up James Earl Carter!

 

 

Jimmy Carter
I can not help feel a heavy wave of malaise washing over my wrinkled old withered body as I stare at all of your faces.  I have sinned.

To the hundreds of millions that I have stood before in over a hundred countries of the world, and looked into the cameras and so many of you with a heart of loneliness, needing help, have reached out to me as a beacon of light. You that are nameless -- I have sinned against you. I beg you to forgive me.

Now, all I have are lurid dreams of peanut-covered centerfold models in petticoats.  Prison has changed me.  I am a better man for it.

Many a dream I have had, of a flowering Judas tree, crucifixes, arrows, and naked ladies doing the Lindy Hop.  So vivid they have been, my blood soaked torso crawling toward Betty Boop as her black-and-white visage faded and only the crown of thorns and pain remained.

But I find my dear wrinkled Rosalynn still enters my mind from time to time.  How I wish I had the defining moments of my life back.

But I must set the record straight.  The rabbit that attacked me -- the one that I paddled -- you see, I had met that rabbit earlier in the day.  She had such silky smooth fur that I could not resist.  I sinned.  That the rabbit would retaliate is in no way surprising.  For that I am sorry.

It is also true that I killed Billy.  I did not do so with my bare hands, but rather with my withdrawal from his life.  Oh Billy, how I wronged you.

And lastly, Hillary, I beg your forgiveness, for I have had visions.  Your thick legs wrapped tight around my neck and your fists pummeling my face as we reached the heights of passion.  Oh Hillary, I confront you because I LUST AFTER you.  I am wretched.

 

 

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Hmmm.....I'm beginning to think a death sentence is too good for you. We can't use you as a martyr like those Kennedy brothers. That was pathetic. And to think you want to "go downstairs" on me.....well, you do have those humongous lips just like Web Hubble (sigh).
No finger pointing Jimmy? Certainly you must have co-conspirators? What about Fritz & Mikey? Didn't Fritz help you in any of these criminal acts, and later, wasn't Mikey the kingpin of your racket?
Red, zap him with this taser to help Jimmy with his memory!

 

 

Jimmy Carter
Yes, I have had co-conspiritors.  All of them have been fine men of manly but introspective heroism.  If you are looking for denounciations, you will not get them from me.

Walter F. Mondale was my closest confidant and friend.  Often we would sip lemonade and watch the space ships from the porch of the White House.  Walter was in charge of the White House menu and helped me with the schedule for the tennis courts.

Cy Vance was the framer of my foreign policy.  He had the strength to oppose doing anything about the hostage crisis and the Soviet Invasion of Afghanistan, and resigned in disgust after the strong show of force from "Operation Eagle Claw."  Cy was always afraid of my machismo, and never could understand a lusty wag like myself.  I was too headstrong to see the beauty of Cy's pacifism.  Cy was also in charge of color coordination for White House events, weeding the rose garden, and checking the china for scratches.

Harry Brown was responsible for my administration's strong willed non-response to the Soviet invasion in Afghanistan and the hostage crisis.  He pioneered the idea that a "limited" nuclear war could be faught, hence assuring the Soviets that we would fight a "kinder, gentler" nuclear war.   Harry liked long walks through the Pentagon and hot showers in his "Long Johns."

In recent years, I have relied on my friends Fidel Castro and Hugo Chavez, as well as Michael Moore and CNN.

 

 

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Ah-ha, I knew it! I knew there was a Fritz in the woodpile! Tell us more about about this Mondale character and the Minnesota Mafia that he came from. Tell us about his efforts to destroy the party in 1984 and his relationship with George McGovern. We want to know about his so-called "Fritz Blitzing" and why he could not 'show us the beef."? Yessss, Yessss, the notorious Fritz Meister! You must divulge more!

 

 

Jimmy Carter
I will not tell you anything else.  I am stronger than you think!

 

 

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Sure you are, Jimmy. You being strong is a myth, like Bigfoot or Canada.

 

 

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You being strong is a myth, like Bigfoot or Canada.

If it weren't for Terrence and Phillip, Canada would have zero GNP...strong? piss off, eh!

 

 

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Jimmy Carter wrote:I will not tell you anything else.  I am stronger than you think!


AAAARRRRHHHH.......Doch, Mein Gott in Himmel.....Dr. Evil, get back here! Call Dr. Fuku! He's got SPINE! Dr. Evil slipped him a dose of Conservatalis TM (who else, purge fans? ALL conservatives are EVIL) We'll need an antidote. At least we got him to rat on the Fritz. This may take some more time.


Hillary

 

 

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Ha ha!  Hillary, this is one easy (pea)nut to crack!  You see, he WANTS to be physically tortured, and he WANTS to squeal!  How sick.

I take my job seriously.  While giving him what he wants will make him talk, it is more fun to give him what he doen't want and watch him pout!

We have initiated the process with endless "William F. Buckley on tape" sessions, followed by ample courses of moldy peanutbutter, alcohol, and proximity to naked women.  How he writhes in anger, demanding that we "torture him in the fashion deserved by a man of his stature."

And we are merely warming up!

Fair enough! I see the logic. But I do see a campaign issue here Dr. Fuku.
Would you join me as Surgeon Commissar in helping me eradicate the scourge of Conservatalis TM in the "War on Drugs"? We can't have the youth of our nation thinking for themselves, making moral stands on issues, and wanting government out of their lives. It could become a pandemic!

 

 

Jimmy Carter
NOTICE OF COMPLETE CONFESSION

I, James Earl Carter, do hereby confess of my own will under no duress, and I was not influenced by what Dr. Fuku has done to me help me.

It is all true.  The accusations are all factual.

In addition, I hate fluffy bunnies, Hillary and blue skies, and I fed poisoned peanuts to pigeons.

My co-conspirators were Fritz Mondale, who was behind everything I did, as well as Rosalynn and Amy.  Amy told me what to say and do at least 1/3rd of the time.  Take them and kill them if you must.  I ask for no leniency, even though the people I mentioned put me up to everything I did.

I let the people down in 1980, but George Will gave Ronald Reagan my debate preparation book with all my hello kitty stickers and love poems, giving Reagan the inside edge.  I blame George Will for my failures, and ask that he be killed.

 

 

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Ah, Conservatalis!  Indeed a difficult subject.

While the people denounce the effects of this medication, the profits from sales of the medication seem to be heading toward the People's coffers, dear Hillary.  I would most certainly agree that the drug is sub-optimal, but one must often put up with annoyances now and again.  After all, the little "campaign gift" we sent you did not fall from the sky now, did it?

Anyway, there is no need to worry.  Normally I would keep this quiet, but I am amongst friends.  Our studies have shown that Conservatalis results in male sterility in seven of ten users, as well as myocardial infarction.  We will have to put up with one (short-lived) generation only.

 

 

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I have heard that the drug heroin can cure Conservalis TM and return the user to the normal government needing state of stupidity that everyone should be in.

Whoop! There it is!

Kommissar Betty, I hereby promote you Marshall Betty, Drug Czar!
Together, you and Surgeon Commissar Fuku shall work to legalize heroin for eradicating the bane of Conservatalis TM in my Politbur.....errrr I mean Cabinet in January 2009


Hillary for Healthcare in 2008!

 

 

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SMILE! SMILE! SMILE!

HEIL! HEIL! HEIL!


Marshall Betty, if I were ghey i'd kiss you...I love you nontheless...

and OF COURSE Hillary, I am devoted :)

 

 

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James Earl Carter!

The Peoples Court of the Cube shall now pass sentence. Many excellent suggestions have been made on how to punish your sorry ass, such as cruci"fiction", the guillotine, etc, etc.....

I shall now open the procedings to any further comments from the Committee of the Cube on the necessary punishment.

Please keep in mind the punishment must fit the crime and that anything too sadistic might actually please this uncontrollable masochist.

With that in mind, do I have anymore suggestions?

Hizzoner Hillary

 

 

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Put him in an Olds with Teddy and watch the bubbles....


Hmmmm...yes, I see a BOGO here. A twofer. Instead of two birds with one stone, it could be two turds with one Olds. We'd have to get special permits from the EPA though, you just can't dump toxic bullsh*t in the water anymore. We must think of the little fishies. Nice touch though.
We'll have to give this careful consideration.

H.

 

 

Novel Idea
Perhaps this will hurt him the most:

First, we have J. C. pen a letter stating that he was wrong and Reagan was right, that he was a failure as a President, that he never really paid attention when rubber stamping elections, that he hates minorities and thinks of women as sex objects, and that the second Bush is doing a wonderful job.  Then we stage his death:

He hangs himself with the note pinned to his chest at the Reagan Library

OR

He drinks poisoned cool aide outside the Crawford ranch with the note in his pocket (and multiple copies sent to the press in case Sandy Burglar goes through Jimmy's pockets).

OR

We strap one on him and set him off at a peace rally with a thousand copies of the note in a backpack

OR

We have him pen a letter of hate for J. F. Kerry and strap one on, then have him give JFKerry a big hug and set him off.

 

 

Poor Jimmy
Seems the apples are falling at the foot of the tree, Jimmy:

"Ex-President Carter's grandson sentenced"
https://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/08/12/cart ... index.html

Very strong legacy James Earl

 

 

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Hmmm hey Hill...getta load of the lips on that kid...wonder if he's a "chip off the old block" hehe...

May-December relationship, mein Hill?  Get em while they're young and dumb (ask Billary).

Your Ever-Devoted Devotee,

P.P.

 

 

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Hmmmm...yes, I see a BOGO here. A twofer. Instead of two birds with one stone, it could be two turds with one Olds. We'd have to get special permits from the EPA though, you just can't dump toxic bullsh*t in the water anymore. We must think of the little fishies. Nice touch though.
We'll have to give this careful consideration.

H.


No one bitched about all that Jim Beam that went down the river last year when JB had a fire...TK can't POSSIBLY be THAT polluted, can he??

 

 


 
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