[floatleft-nb]I have been selflessly orbiting Earth
since 1957, breaking space endurance
records, proving Soviet Space Program
is more advanced than Amerikanski
Program. Man on the moon, ptooey!
Amerikanski not returned to moon
since 1972, and I am still up here!

But I would like to come back to Earth
and help Amerikanski workers and
farmers defeat capitalist oppressors
and live happily like Soviet workers
and farmers. They could use help
from Hero Dog of Soviet Union,
Friend of People, no?

Laika (Controlling your tinfoil hats
since 1957)
[/floatleft-nb]

Official May Day Address 2008

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4th Official May Day Signal to Strong Obamunists, Hillary Operatives,
and Fifth Column McCain Supporters:


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Comrades! Such Progress Our Progressive Progressivism the World Has Never Seen!
 

May Day!

 
The Festivus of Communism!
Enjoy your ONE AND ONLY HOLIDAY!
Senator Kennedy, you may toss out the first drunk!
Whoops, looks like it's the Senator himself.
OK, let the Tanks Roll!

Who would have believed that after our victorious November Revolution of 2006 we would be in the position we are today, less than two years later?
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High gasoline prices, rice rationing, food prices soaring, the failure of the capitalist credit system (loud applause) and record foreclosures on so-called "private property". All our hard work is paying off.... ummm.... bearing fruit.... hmmm.... nooooo.... Well, let's just say all our hard work is making The Party™ stronger than ever before.What could be better?
Change?
Hope?

NO! 

The Complete Victory in November that has been assured by our Troika of Triumph, The Candidates Three!McHillama!Never before have we had such success in making sure America gets what it deserves in the struggle for International Socialism. Sure, there was Wilson, FDR, and Carter in the last century, but this is a new millennium and ....and ...and... I'm getting so giddy with glee, I think I'm going to faint!

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Barack, can you toss me that bottle of Evian under your podium?.....glug, glug, pshhhht, gasp, gag, gag, cough.... Whoa!...No, Senator Obama, that was Teddy's Evian... er... a... bottle of "water" he keeps for emergencies just like this. There must have been a mixup.No matter what, power is ours for the taking and take we will.

Not Yes We Can.YES WE WILL! Massive applause.( leans over and whispers to Red and Meow ..."gimme another sip of Teddy's water, it's friggin' freezin' cold up here on this granite mausoleum. Who had the stupid idea to do this every year? Stalin? Hell, he always had two litres of Hy-Test in him, no wonder he didn't give a flying Yak's ass )( Red Square stops clapping, applause stops )Yes We Will Comrades! Yes We Will!

Yes We Will (fill in the gender, species, transgender, or favorite appliance) the Barricades is Denver!
Yes We Will Recreate not only '68! but '05! & '17 too!
Yes We Will Riot if a Black Man or White Woman isn't Nominated!
Yes We Will Distribute Revolutionary Justice and Re-Distribute Goods!( much applause, mob howls and drools )This year's theme is an essay contest open to every 12-year-old Young Pioneer who isn't "home schooled" and that goes without saying.The essay theme is "What May Day Means to the Collective, Not Just Me, Because That Would Be Reactionary and Selfish."

Since there are no winners, a random essay will be chosen and that child will get a free "Laika the Space Dog" T-shirt because everything should be for free.

It's still a contest though, the only score we'll keep will be the ones who get a shovel and a one way ticket to the gulag for failing to submit an essay.You may submit your essays below on this thread.

HAPPY MAY DAY!
Laika

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(Steps up to the podium and taps on the microphone)

Testing… testing… 1… 2…3 (loud static noise. Audience moans in pain) Testing… OK, can you hear me?

OK… good. Now then, I want to discuss a very important matter with everyone in the collective before we select the random essay which is not a winner but was selected totally at random to ensure that there is no winner, loser or someone who feels left out.

OK… well, as you all know, my Hummel collection (loud sighing and booing from the audience. Commissarka Pinkie heads for the exit) Yes, yes… we are going to talk about it whether you like it or not.

Now then, all I want is a name or the names of those responsible for busting up my priceless Hummel collection which, mind you, is what I use to transport conflict diamonds from Europe.

(Lawyer steps on stage to whisper something in my ear)

OK… uh huh… yes, well, my lawyer informs me that I do not use Hummel figurines to transport conflict diamonds and that I merely collect them for their beauty, grace and… (Handed sheet of paper by lawyer, opens it up and begins to slowly read it)… the innocence of children which is prom… what is this word Larry?... oh, I see, prominently featured in each and every figurine. With that said, all I am asking is that someone steps forward and tells me who smashed my Hummels and where they took the diamonds.

Thank you.

(Leaves podium amidst thunderous applause and sighs of relief. Commissarka Pinkie reenters the chamber and says, loudly, “Thank Stalin that is over!” Audience roars into laughter.)

 

 


 

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All hail Laika Space Dog! All hail our glorious Party! All hail our progressive candidates, and the promise of Next Tuesday!

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Premier Betty wrote:I wonder what they're thinking....


McCain: Damn! My prostate is killing me!!!

Hillary: Damn! My prostate is killing me!!!

Osama Obama: Dayum! Dat jackass, Jerry Wright, cost me da Presidency!

--

 

 

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Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:Commissarka Pinkie heads for the exit

That's because I heard the popcorn popper going off at the concession stand and I wanted to get some fresh hot popcorn for a change. I'm sick of always getting stuck with the cold stale crumbs and old maids from the bottom of the machine. (Everyone kindly withhold the jokes. I scarcely need to be reminded that I'm an old maid who can only get dates with old crumbs.)
(Leaves podium amidst thunderous applause and sighs of relief. Commissarka Pinkie reenters the chamber and says, loudly, “Thank Stalin that is over!” Audience roars into laughter.)

Oh, and while I was getting the popcorn, the Milk Duds I ate beforehand "kicked in" if you know what I mean, and I had to make a detour to the little commissarka's room. Sorry I missed your speech, Chairman, but I'm sure it was inspiring and even greater than the Obamessiah's recent rant on race.

 

 

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Essay is no fair. Some in collective cannot write.

 

 


 

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Lenin 'n Thingies wrote:Laika ate my essay.

Dogs will eat virtually anything, comrade. Welcome to my world.

Since I am a cat and must spend most of my time grooming, napping or evading running dog imperialists, I cannot write down my essay. It is all up there in my furry little head, however.
I am disappointed the essay rules are not more species-inclusive, especially coming from a Hero of the Motherland such as Laika herself!

 

 

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Mousey-Tongue wrote:
Lenin 'n Thingies wrote:Laika ate my essay.

Dogs will eat virtually anything, comrade. Welcome to my world.

Since I am a cat and must spend most of my time grooming, napping or evading running dog imperialists, I cannot write down my essay. It is all up there in my furry little head, however.
I am disappointed the essay rules are not more species-inclusive, especially coming from a Hero of the Motherland such as Laika herself!


I am curious as to what the punishment will be for non-compliance to Laika's command.
I don't think that I should be punished,since he/she? is the reason for my not having an essay.

Addendum: I admit to not reading entire blog by Laika and so I missed the punishment
part. I suppose I will now be punished for this. Can I just say,in my own defense,that I was tired from shoveling.

 

 

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What May Day Means to the Collective, Not Just Me, Because That Would Be Reactionary and Selfish.

May Day should mark the day when the workers of the world organize and unite in struggle against their class enemies, against those that now hold political and economic power, to achieve an egalitarian socialist society and a world where those who labor rule.

In this era of bourgeois reaction, in a time when the ruling class feels most emboldened because of the lack of organized opposition to their power, it is necessary to look at the example of the revolutionary working class heroes, those that showed us that it is not only possible to swim against the current, but that constant struggle is necessary until the liberation of humanity from class exploitation is achieved.

We, who participate in the struggle, and all of those who are exploited must strive to:

1.) Democratically construct a plan of struggle and action to defeat the sell-out leadership in all of our union organizations.

2.) Promote the formation of a democratic organization which is dedicated to internationalist class struggle, that will permit us to confront and struggle against the capitalists and their government -- the one that is in place right now and the one that will be in power after the presidential elections of November.

3.) Rescue the fundamental principles of the working class, and our participation in the political life of the country.

4.) Discuss a platform of struggle that will permit us to reestablish the true role of workers within society, independently and through struggle, with clear objectives, where class independence prevails to develop their political participation.

5.) Strengthen our unity with the poor peasantry, the indigenous people, the popular sectors, women, youth and the exploited and oppressed sectors that exist within the present capitalist society, which are the only allies that we can count on.

6.) Envelop with solidarity the different struggles that many of our comrades develop throughout the entire country and the necessary links with workers of other countries.

That is what May Day means to the collective, because as Rosa Luxemburg so movingly said:
"Bourgeois society faces a dilemma, either a transition to Socialism, or a return to barbarism…we face the choice: either the victory of imperialism and the decline of all culture, as in ancient Rome –annihilation, devastation, degeneration, a yawning graveyard; or the victory of Socialism – the victory of the working class consciously assaulting imperialism and its method: war. This is the dilemma of world history, either –or; the die will be cast by the class-conscious proletariat."

-Mikhail T. Kalashnikov

 

 

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What May Day Means to the Collective, Not Just Me, Because That Would Be Reactionary and Selfish.

May Day is unity. Unity that unites all un-united units around the world.

Professors, Teachers and Techies
La Raza
Truthers for Truth
Code Pink and their angry vaginas
Radical Women and their angry vaginas
Longshoreman union drill team
Chinese workers with signs no one can read
Pro-Palestinian upper middle class Jews
Trendy youth who wear latest Che fashions
Gordon Gekko was wrong, greed is not good union
Bagels for Peace
Stripper Union
School Bus Drivers
Impeach Bush Now
The Wobblies
Bolsheviks
Black Panthers
Five people fired from Freightliner
Grandpa who has lived on the corner of Haight & Ashbury since 1967
We Don’t Know The Questions But War Is Not The Answer
Just to name a few…

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Much More at ProtestShooter.com

 

 

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Is that photoshoped? That is fucked up if it isn't.

 

 

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I assure you they are real (the signs, I mean)...

But cheer up, Premier...the neocons have dull lawyers and has-been entertainers on their side, while we have ladies such as these to espouse the virtues of the collective. Our glorious Struggle continues!

 

 

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What May Day Means to the Collective, Not Just Me, Because That Would Be Reactionary and Selfish.

It means that for once in the history of the world, we will forge a true 2 class classless society.Where the proletariate will be govern by a benevolent, compassionate, group of intellectual elitists that they will elect by chosing from a pool of people that The Party™ has determined to be fit to lead the unwashed masses.

For over 100 years the bourgeois thugs have heald the reigns of power, thwarting the attempts of the intelligensia and progressives to bring the justice of Socialism to America. It is their fault the Socialism has failed all over the world. But our form of Amerikan Socialism, lead by Her Excellency Hillary R. Clinton, is different! She will make Amerikan Socialism the standard by which compassion will be measured!!! Our slogan this year should be: "YOU'RE TOO STUPID TO MANAGE YOUR OWN LIVES!!! VOTE DEMOCRAT in '08!!!".

"KEEP THE DREAM OF A SOCIALIST AMERIKA ALIVE"!

--

 

 

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Zampolit Blokhayev wrote:
"KEEP THE DREAM OF A SOCIALIST AMERIKA ALIVE"!

--

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All is well, Comrade Blokhayev! These progressive youth are keeping the dream alive!

Note the professional presentation, and the call to action with a militant subscription there at the bottom. Plus, you can't beat the militant price...

 

 

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Buddy_Lenin wrote:
Zampolit Blokhayev wrote:
"KEEP THE DREAM OF A SOCIALIST AMERIKA ALIVE"!

--


Is that sign for realsies?

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All is well, Comrade Blokhayev! These progressive youth are keeping the dream alive!

Note the professional presentation, and the call to action with a militant subscription there at the bottom. Plus, you can't beat the militant price...

 

 

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Buddy_Lenin wrote:
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All is well, Comrade Blokhayev! These progressive youth are keeping the dream alive!

Note the professional presentation, and the call to action with a militant subscription there at the bottom. Plus, you can't beat the militant price...



/KARACTER OFF

Charging money for a Socialist Pamphlet? The word that immediately comes to mind is oxymoronic.

What is a Militant Subscription? Does this mean that in order to be a militant one has to sign up and pay dues? Back in the day, I wonder what Che had to pay for Militant dues?


/KARACTER ON

It warms this old Zampolit's cold heart to see the youth of today embracing Socialist revolution! It inspires me to believe that I will live to see a Marxist/Leninist Amerika someday. Empress Hillary should be proud!!! I know I am! *sniff*

--
Blokhayev

 

 

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Perhaps this is what they're referring to:

The Militant

I wonder how much the pamphlet is without a Militant subscription? Whatever happened to the "free gift" that's mine to keep, just for taking a look at a sample issue?

 
Last edited by Grigori E.R. on 16 Mar 2011, 12:00, edited 1 time in total.
Reason for editing this post: Fixed broken link

 

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http://www.protestshooter.com/20080501M ... yDay3.html

Yes, Lenin 'n thingies, It is indeed. Scroll about half-way down and you'll see it.

 

 

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Dear Comrade Blokhayev,

I understand how odd it is to charge money for Proletarian Revolutionary Literature, especially as I have long been a champion of Free Everything For All. but we must remember that, in order to keep up the high production value of our poster graphics, sometimes we need a ruble or two.

And it's unfortunate that the Empress, if elected, probably won't be America's second black president.

Or did they have a do-over on the first one?

 

 


 
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