[floatleft-nb]Lenin: the deity of earth, toil,
and light bulbs, the giver of
beets, vodka, and happiness.
A principal deity of the Soviet
People who worshiped his
mummy while believing he was
still alive. Lenin's birthday
is an important Marxist festival,
also known as Sacrificial Earth
Shoveling, or simply Earth Day.[/floatleft-nb]

Goodbye Lenin? United Russia Considers Burial

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Lenin may be turned out of his tomb if a campaign launched by United Russia members succeeds in closing down his mausoleum on Red Square.
"His presence as a central figure in a necropolis at the heart of our nation is utter nonsense," State Duma Deputy Vladimir Medinsky wrote on United Russia's web site.
The party ran a click-to-vote poll at GoodbyeLenin.ru — a nod to the hit German comedy about the collapse of communism. It said more than 100,000 people, or two in three of those taking part, backed the proposal to remove the embalmed body of the Bolshevik revolutionary and give him a normal burial.
It was not clear whether the idea, regularly aired in the 20 years since the Soviet breakup, has the support of Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, who heads United Russia and last year counseled against a rush to move Lenin.
More opinion polls in recent years have also found that a majority of Russians favor removing the remains of the man who, after his death on Jan. 21, 1924, was virtually deified by his heirs in a Communist Party that suppressed religion.
Medinsky noted that Lenin himself had had no such wish.
In Soviet times, lines snaked around Red Square as the faithful waited to file past the mummified body under the walls of the Kremlin. Few make the effort today. And maintaining the corpse is a constant and growing headache for the embalmers.
Communist supporters gathered at the mausoleum on Friday to commemorate the 87th anniversary of Lenin's death.

Source: https://www.themoscowtimes.com/news/art ... 29441.html


He looks so natural for being dead for 87 years

 

 

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Yes Comrade, it is time to bury Comrade Lenin. but what can we do with that space.......I got we could place The "Bama" there, he could read off his teleprompter.

Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality® INC
The Kind and Lovable, Green Commissar
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith

 

 

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What? Why? He hardly even smells anymore and the fluid that used to leak out of his nostrils dried up years ago.

 

 

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If I were not an atheist and was a capitalist pig, I could have had the idea of selling Saint Lenin's relics to the tourists: finger of right hand (15 rubles), middle finger of left progressive hand (40 rubles), the uncorrupted left progressive foot of Glorious Leader... and so on. Comrades, we could make tons of money.
And what about all those megatoxic fluids, poisoning the Moskva? Remember comrades: re-use, re-duce and re-cycle.

But as I am a true Useful Idiot™ proletarian, I will go back to beets.

What is this? You sound Like a KKKapitalist, I am afraid I will need to have some of my Goons
Highly trained life Counselors. Prepare for a Midnight visit.

Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality® INCThe Kind and Lovable, Green Commissar
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith

 

 

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This can not be! The Party™ is failing us. We must have deity Lenin, comrades, where will the proles worship once world socialism finally takes holds?

Hmmm... maybe the headline is wrong, maybe it is "Goodbye Lenin, United Russia considers Beria." Must talk to Pravada.

Good to see your shiny door kicking boots, Comrade Red Star. I am pleased to report counting of necro-proxy voters for 2012 is in full swing.

Hail Lenin!

 

 

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Comrades,
Don't get yourselves in a knot. Comrade Putin just wants to make sure there is room for him to lay in state after he resurrects glorious Soviet Empire.

Comrade Katpain,
I should report you for thoughtcrime, just for having a KKKapitalist thought experiment.
What you forgot in your idea, however, is that for the True Believers ™, there does not need to be proof that the relic came from Lenin. One could just as easily use small animal bones. Then one would have a never ending supply.

 

 

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Ahhh Comrade Rooster so good to see you again. Are you ready to scare up grave yard voters for our Messiah?

 

 

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They may bury him, but at least we will always have
Leningrad!

Wait,... what!?

 

 

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Why not cremate him? To burn someone is a very sanctifying practice, and the heat generated will warm the Russian people in this cold winter.

 

 

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Rock Tsar wrote:Comrades,
Comrade Katpain,
I should report you for thoughtcrime, just for having a KKKapitalist thought experiment.
What you forgot in your idea, however, is that for the True Believers ™, there does not need to be proof that the relic came from Lenin. One could just as easily use small animal bones. Then one would have a never ending supply.

Exactly! We could make, for example, wholesale packs or affiliate programs! GloriousRelics.prog: Comrade Lenin's nose (10 pieces pack) 5 rubles each.
Oh dear... now I'm guilty of applying scale economy plans...I will be ready for that night visit.

Just let me put my shovel at the head of the bed straw matress.

 

 

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I must speak with honesty and give my apologizes in advance for such . . . but, I think it is time to permanently plant him. I spent many a skool day, trekking to "visit our beloved comrade". How many times are we expected to visit remaining remains, I ask? He is not getting better (and,umm, he looksfunny odd peculiar.) It is time to go, dearest Lenin. . . . maybe in Vladimir_Scratchanitch back yard, would just the place?

dirt.jpg

 

 

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Commissar_Elliott wrote:Why not cremate him? To burn someone is a very sanctifying practice, and the heat generated will warm the Russian people in this cold winter.
After so many decades of glycerin, he is already "The People's Soap".

[quote]But, if God exists, it is probable that Comrade Lenin is already burning forever since 1924.[/quote]

 

 

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Perhaps my comrades know where one can find look-alike Lenin-In-State dolls action-figures inaction-figures to present to all the children in the Living Cooperative.

(And maybe a life-sized RealLenin doll for my own entertainment shrine.)

 

 

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I am confused here Comrades. If we bury comrade Lenin, what will the embalmers who keep him preserved do for work? What sort of union busting plot is this? The Lenin Embalmers Local 107 must be protected!

 

 

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Colonel 7.62 wrote:I am confused here Comrades. If we bury comrade Lenin, what will the embalmers who keep him preserved do for work? What sort of union busting plot is this? The Lenin Embalmers Local 107 must be protected!

We are most proud of your forward thinking thoughts but I believe Nanski P. still has her job in the US Congress leading the Embalmers congressmen.

 

 

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In truth my friends Comrade Lenin would prefer we choose "Option R" for disposal of his corpse. The transition to this state from his current one will be minmal as far as processing goes and his shelf life will rival the period of time he has already spent on the shelf.

disposaloptionR.jpg

Comrade Vlad also gains messianic properties by being consumable and he can help feed the childrens from the beyond by producing a product that will mitigate the scourge of food deserts.

After his consumption by the proles and "reprocessing" the dear one can be spread on the vast beet fields from which he will nourish our bodies and minds once again. I think you'll agree- there is not a more beautiful or just option comrades.

 

 

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Meat is murder! Think of the chilluns!

 

 

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INGSOC, oh, so you mean like Soylent Green, but this is the Red Version? umm, umm good. Most tasty for the young, unsuspecting proles.

 

 

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Proletarianly, comrades, I recall how recent running dog imperialists have tried to claim that Lenin was bedeviled by syphilis, more inspired by it than Marx. Be that as it may, I think this is still more proof that Lenin was more equal than all, for how many others do you know who can get laid 87 years after their death?

Communism is the People's Viagra!

 

 

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Colonel 7.62 wrote:I am confused here Comrades. If we bury comrade Lenin, what will the embalmers who keep him preserved do for work? What sort of union busting plot is this? The Lenin Embalmers Local 107 must be protected!
We could always have them embalm other bodies, and claim those dead progs as important to the Revolution as Lenin was. More bodies, just as important.

 

 

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Or I suppose they could go to work for Helen Thomas

 

 

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First disposing of AK-47, now this... It's almost like Russia is turning away from glorious past. Or, KGB Cololnel I mean, Supreme Soviet, err, prime minister Vlad Putin wants to make a distinctive mark on the Empire's resurrection.

Colonel, I think Helen Thomas has her own preservatives already mixed in. Like a Twinkie, but flabbier and less appetizing.

 

 

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Rock Tsar wrote:First disposing of AK-47, now this... It's almost like Russia is turning away from glorious past. Or, KGB Cololnel I mean, Supreme Soviet, err, prime minister Vlad Putin wants to make a distinctive mark on the Empire's resurrection.

Colonel, I think Helen Thomas has her own preservatives already mixed in. Like a Twinkie, but flabbier and less appetizing.
To be fair to Helen she has just as much sex appeal as a twinkie.

 

 

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INGSOC wrote:
Rock Tsar wrote:First disposing of AK-47, now this... It's almost like Russia is turning away from glorious past. Or, KGB Cololnel I mean, Supreme Soviet, err, prime minister Vlad Putin wants to make a distinctive mark on the Empire's resurrection.

Colonel, I think Helen Thomas has her own preservatives already mixed in. Like a Twinkie, but flabbier and less appetizing.
To be fair to Helen she has just as much sex appeal as a twinkie.

HEY! I like Twinkies.

There is no comparison between Helen and Twinkies.

 

 

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Comrades,Perhaps the solution to this situation would be to bury Lenin and have holographic displays of his personage for day and night display at Red Square. Sort of on the order of perpetual flame for JFK.

 

 

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Comrade Katpain,

Though you are probably too busy digging in a beautiful gulag to know this, I have taken the liberty of making Lenin's relics into an ad to benefit the entire People's Cube.

Rock Tsar

 

 

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Hi comrades.
Just back from digging wink-small vacation-wink after a midnight visit and a posterior train trip. I've seen the ad now. Nice work! (how are the sale... oh dear... not a midnight visit again...)

 

 

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Katpain Moskovskaya wrote:Hi comrades.
Just back from digging wink-small vacation-wink after a midnight visit and a posterior train trip. I've seen the ad now. Nice work! (how are the sale... oh dear... not a midnight visit again...)


Yes Comrade are you requesting a Midnight Visit? My Staff of Goons highly trained counselors, will be happy to accommodate your request.

Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality® INC
The Kind and Lovable, Green Commissar
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith

 

 

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Hmmmm... I've just returned yesterday. Having another midnight visit would be unequal for the rest of the comrades, don't?

 

 

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Katpain Moskovskaya wrote:Hmmmm... I've just returned yesterday. Having another midnight visit would be unequal for the rest of the comrades, don't?


But we can make exceptions. If you have any Hummels or toys it would be best if you just offered them to the GoonsHighly trained Counselors. And pray the that Nanski Polouski, is not tagging along. TheGoonsHighly trained Counselors, seem especially hostile when she is about, I have noticed.

I remember on one occasion Chairman Meow decided to jump on board, not sure if he intended to, or smelled the Macho Tacos they were munching on, and figured he could smooze a meal. The GoonsHighly trained Counselors were so agitated not only did the kick in the door, proceeded in to the house clogged the toilets. and just made a big mess. I was so proud of them.......Sniff Sniff


Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality® INC
The Kind and Lovable, Green Commissar
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith

 

 

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All this talk of the horrid, savage practices of "burial" or "cremation"? So passe!

Sold off in pieces? Detestably ironic... KKKApitalism finally has it's way?

But wait... there is a THIRD WAY!!

Leave it to the progressive wizards at NBC to find us a more Gaia-friendly way to express our self-loathing mitigate our damage to the environment!

https://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41003238/n ... nd_energy/

Image

Now with a mere flip of a lever all of our problems go down the hole!

 

 

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But we can make exceptions. If you have any Hummels or toys it would be best if you just offered them to the GoonsHighly trained Counselors.

Now I see. I'm guilty of denying myself the opportunity of being offered a Free Midnight Train ticket.

Leave it to the progressive wizards at NBC to find us a more Gaia-friendly way to express our self-loathing mitigate our damage to the environment!

https://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41003238/ns ... nd_energy/

Hey, that's what I said in an ad!
https://thepeoplescube.com/peoples-tool ... tml#117571


Those damn pervert kkkapitalists took my idea... oh... wait!

On a second thought... think of those enormous quantities of energy which could be saved back at Auswitch...

 

 

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Yes, excellent work Komrade Kool-Aid, you have unearthed (no-pun-intended) our Soylent Green project Mother Machine.

Free Katpain Moskovskaya! (for soylent green later...)

 

 

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Excellent Work Comrade Scratchy!

Your article has been promoted to Lenin's very own little nook on The People's Cube.

Hail.... (*choke, gurgle, ack!*)

 

 


 
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