The People's Cube: Guaranteed Results








It's exceedingly addictive, but in a good way, of course. I think I can use it to help improve the focus of my students, the majority of whom have been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), the plague of our postmodern age.












There was never a "Prolier than Thou" attitude from either Komrade Koz or myself (nor was there any intention to demonstrate one)...I wanted that to be cleared up. Of course we know there are some who are more equal than others! Why would I have been educated by the Institute for Re-education if I was going to lose the education quickly? Just clearing things up.
Vladimir Ivanov
Red Journalism Headquarters, Moscow, USSR


To be quite honest, there is nothing wrong with having a "Prolier than Thou" (PTT) attitude, provided you're able to back it up with a convincing record of actions that you've taken to promote the Party and its progressive agenda. Frankly, PTT has been the bedrock of my academic career and I've used it quite adeptly to advance beyond many of my equally capable colleagues. Actually, PTT posturing, when performed in the correct manner, is a sure-fire way of rising through the Party ranks. What is the correct manner, you may ask? Ah, that is the question, indeed! It's rather tricky, being contigent on the capricious will of the Party elite at any given moment in time. So be careful!
Nonetheless, it is always advisable to inform against those whom you believe may be engaging in thought crime. Just be sure that they can't turn the tables on you! When the purges come: better them than you, right?!
Muhammed Jihad
Et ees nic to se tht ther ar peple oot ther tht ar on the sam intellectual levl as me.
-Kommissar Betty
comrade burkowitz
Coming to within a month or so.
Comrade Red Square
Sonic54
A recommended politically correct and non-sexist way to say it would be -
"Now I can die a happy person..." or
"Now I can happily sacrifice myself to the collective!"
Red Square
peoples_history_ed
castro08
Selling your soul is not necessary. The idea of "selling" goes along with "profit". This means that only you and the buyer gain. Instead you must give up your soul for the common good and become a prefect little conformist robot.
-Kommissar Betty
OneWhoseNameWouldntFit!
For those still reading the Cube's user guide, perhaps a look at
http://chicagojournal.com/main.asp?Sear ... ionID=&S=1
will be helpful.
Komrade_Cost

MinisterOfEducation
www. democratic national comittee . organ
They will help you with all questions (in exchange for your vote and rejection of civilized capitalists ways and reality a.k.a. Western Civilization)- Monday through Fridays 3:50 - 4:00 pm, except on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays (when closed for diversity training and commune educational seminars and union dues spending sprees).
Chief Main Big Organ M.O.E.
(oh - if you are a white male Christian - do not appeal for aid).

"What have they done to the earth?
What have they done to our fair sister?
Ravaged and plundered and ripped her and bit her
Stuck her with knives in the side of the dawn
And tied her with fences and dragged her down"


IT'S SPIN CITY AGAIN
By HEIDI SINGER
November 19, 2005
The famed spinning cube of Astor Place — a sculpture known as "Alamo" — was returned to its Cooper Square home of almost 40 years yesterday, scrubbed, scraped, painted and buffed.
"The cube is back!" shouted Parks Commissioner Adrian Benepe, as city officials, cheering neighbors and creator Tony Rosenthal unveiled the spiffed-up sculpture and took it for its first spin.
Photo: Josh Williams

PHOTO COOPER SQUARED: The return of "Alamo" - the restored 1967 piece - is hailed by lovers of "revolutionary" art yesterday in Cooper Square.
City officials removed the cube for renovation suddenly in March, sparking conspiracy theories and howls of protest from old-time East Villagers, graffiti artists and skater kids alike, who worried it had been removed because of a glitzy new building across the street.
The piece — installed in 1967 as "Sculpture in Environment," and later dubbed "Alamo" — has been a major neighborhood landmark and gathering spot for graffiti-loving gutter punks and drunk frat boys who used it for "spinning" contests.



Comrade,
Thanks for your input (ahh, wait...YOUR input?). The People's Cube can be used by all. The People's Cube Manual is certainly not a necessity. In fact, maybe we'll name it as The People's Cube Supplement...then we'll all know how to use it.
V. Ivanov

Thank the poliburo for the freedom to succeed!
Stoshu




In short, I give Comrade Fry an “A+” for effort and an “A+” for morally superior failure.








No Mimes...err...I mean Knights?
What about the Ivory Rooks of Academia?














I, too, wanted a People's Cube.

All I got was a Shovel.






Everybody gets an extra ration of beets tonight! Potato vodka is on the house! Somebody get the ladder!
Red Square,
Director of Unanimity


Congratulations on
a masterful promotion, Director!! Bravo! Hurray! The Order of Lenin should go to you, my sage Leader.

ALL HAIL TO THE PEOPLE'S CUBE !!! LET'S PARTY COMRADES!
your jubilant Comrade,
Che' Gourmet






Keep up.
Oh NO, is that a thought crime!

The glorious Cube is once again available in the Dry Goods Store. I have procured one, which was delivered today via the People's Mail Delivery Service.




-OV















Also, is there an exploding version of The People's Cube I can use as a grenade? Twist a side, count to three and then throw it at a Class Enemy?




PS... Take the Red Pill

Where does line form to sign up for people's cube? How many years are required to receive permission to submit roubles to pay for cube? How many years to await cube to be lost in mail? Finally, how many roubles to reward postman for suddenly finding people's cube in mailbag?
Grateful to live in advanced country other peoples can only dream of.
RedRum


Line forms right where you stand, in the ObamaNation. Year required for ruble submission: 0, please submit all payments NOW! Years to await Cube, 4-8 depending on your degree of re-education. How many rubles do you have? The Postman appreciates a hefty reward for his findings.
Your sentiments have been acknowledged by The Party(TM).
Red Rooster

Husband does not bring home many roubles after buying vodka at government store. Therefore must save for many months for enough for authentic peoples cube. Am considering using red marker on old rubik's cube somewhere in apartment. Is such recycling activity allowed by compassionate collective?
Please advise.


It is against Party rules to even poses the neo-kulak rubiks cube, this piece of kapitalist debauchery should have burned in your furnace a long time ago. These items have been known to pollute the environment just by there very existence. I understand your concern for The Earth(TM) and trying to save resources, but we are way beyond that comrade. You need a jet plane, a yacht, and a limo to run while you are in meetings, just like The Goreman, if you expect to move forward in the Parties enviro sanctity unit.
Burn Immediately! Purchase proper Peoples Equipment(TM).

Considering job at bar where husband stops after day at tractor factory. Husband said in backwards countries is such a thing as "tips" where waitress actually paid for service. However, does that mean such a job requires smiling? Or delivering drinks without spilling or sampling behind bar with Ivan? Not wanting job that makes too tired to watch Dear Leader spell out glorious future for our people.
Still learning to shed kapitalist thoughts.
Have you heard of these "tips"? It sounds like kulak activity to me. Perhaps should denouce to flag address.



And purchase your People's Cube to support The Party™ in our efforts to stomp out kapitalism! All proceeds go to the Chairman's fund for the proletariat so that he can go on more trips to France with Michelle on Air Force One for shopping sprees. And well... Nancy Pelosi needs another People's™ lear jet. It's for The Children™.

Humbly begging pardon for kapitalist thoughts and instincts. Will purchase People's Cube after sneaking vodka money from husband.
Needing much re-education; hoping to be self trained and not requiring stay in Gulag college of soviet wisdom. Please to not denouce Comrad RedRum to commissar; will submit roubles immediately after husband drinks himself into stupor.




And how much carbon footprint will these new electronic cubes create on the planet? BAN THEM ALL, I say. We might reconsider our boycott if they made all sides red - the only carbon-neutral color known to humynkind!



















An essential purchase for Collectivists, a People's Cube. I am learning the glorious satisfaction of "winning" through the absence of competition. The total lack of mental challenge is completely exhilarating. I wish I had purchased the Cube long ago.


