Seen here posing with the heirloom shovel of their ancestors, FLATUS Obama recently acknowledged the relationship that for reasons of state security and political liability had heretofore remained secret.
"Yes, yes, we are sisters," admitted the demure FLATUS at a recent ceremonial gardening event on the White House South Lawn. "Our mother was a bit of a tra–Hey! Get yo' ass away from my yams!"
Rumors of the relationship began to surface last spring, following a semi-delirious declaration by Yelling Yelena the morning after the May Day celebrations. Witnesses were awakened from their stupor by a banshee howl that sounded like "Anyounevereven tolmeeyer name, you bassar!" followed by a lurid stream-of-conscious account of a torrid tryst that took place in May 1963 at Patrice Lamumba University in Moscow between Yelena and an unnamed Kenyan graduate student.
Working on this fragmentary data, both the Komsomol Genealogical Bureau and the National Eugenics Association initiated investigations as to the current whereabouts of the child produced by the amorous entanglement. "The state must keep tabs on the children of all Party members," explained KGB spokesperson David Pavlov. "Their genetic material must not be mixed with common proles," agreed NEA representative Angela Strausmann. "While the exact details must remain secret," said Pavlov, "we can easily produce documentation to prove the relationship."
So we here at the Cube extend a most equal "welcome!" to the newest member of our Collective family, FLATUS Michelle.
NOTE: The Flat Flotus Photoshop contest has moved
To muddle matters even more, Diahann was scheming with Lando Calrissian to get something out of Blake, I just can't remember what, and I think the whole story arc just fizzled out. But what really annoyed me about the whole thing was that no one ever made a big deal over the fact that Diahann's character and Lando were black. You'd think that Blake, at least, being a white Corporate America capitalist Republican swine, would have an apoplexy at the very suggestion of a black woman, even if she's half black, being a member of his family. Maybe as a Mammy to his children, but I mean sheesh! It's like they were black and I'm the only one who noticed. I ask you, what's the point of putting black people out there for whatever, if no one's going to notice or make a big deal out of it?
(And that's why Herman Cain's campaign will go nowhere.)
But I digress. Those of you who have read know that while I'm a HO, my mother, Yelling Yelena, is a slut. I had lots of uncles, and I seem to recall at least one of them was black. Yelena, you see, believed in diversity and practiced affirmative action in the bedroom.
So yes, comrades, it's true—I am Michelle Obama's half-sister—the resemblance in the photo above is just too uncanny. It only makes it more fitting that after the 2008 election, I decided .
There are just two things I still don't understand:
1. Who is my real father?
2. And shouldn't Yelling Yelena be the one to live with her daughter and son-in-law in the White House, instead of Marian Robinson?
But make no mistake, and let me be perfectly clear: For the first time in my adult life, I am proud to be a member of The People's Cube!
Question #1 remains a mystery. I asked Yelena if the gentleman in question smoked a pipe or had glasses or a moustache, but she just muttered something in a foreign language and threw a rotten potato at me.
Your real father may be Mr. Potatohead.
Now how about some of that borscht?
I've been putting this off for some time, but the truth must be told. Your father is, is...I cannot say the words. I'll let him say it:
OTOH, he has a daughter who's a lesbian, doesn't he? That means I have a sister who's black, and another sister who's a lesbian. Tell me this won't lend me social cachet at DNC fundraisers and next year's convention!
Just think of the grand entrance you'll make at the DNC convention in Charlotte on Uncle Louis Farrakan's mother ship:
Therefore, I was compelled to create a special thread just for the contest itself. Please post all further images there!
https://thepeoplescube.com/peoples-blog/ ... t7419.html
This thread will remain for discussing Pinkie's and Lady Mo's relation(s).
Where can I get a Pinkie doll?
That doll looks greatly enhanced... almost like it could be photoshopped. For one, the "booty" is waaaay too small. There is an 'hour-glass' shape to the torso rather than the highly identifiable 'pear' shape. The hair-do is waaaay off-base too. And she isn't holding her golden shovel.
I sure hope it comes with a name tag because if it doesn't, people might not know who this is supposed to represent.