Underwear Bomber Claims Harassment In U.S Jail

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Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, who tried to blow up a Northwest Airlines flight from Amsterdam to Detroit on Christmas Day, is claiming that he is being subjected to harassment by his fellow inmates and that U.S authorities have turned a blind eye to his complaints.'Ever since I have arrived here I have been subjected to snide remarks, pranks and nicknames,' he stated, 'I complained to the authorities but they just told me to calm down, hotpants'. 'Now that really got my undies in a bunch, so I'm going public to expose this!'.

At first Abdulmultallab thought he was being welcomed by his fellow prisoners, 'One of the prisoners said welcome to me and that I had real balls to become a terrorist, and then he handed me a little gift, I open it and it was a damn can of roasted nuts, it was right then and there that I knew this was going to be a rough ride'.


When asked about the nick-names Abdulmutallab the prisoners were using in his presence he responded, 'fizzledick', 'knickerbomber', 'sizzleskivies' and 'fruit of the boom'. "It's bad enough that when I finally go to paradise and get my 72 virgins that there is now going to be some er....issues, but do my fellow inmates have to remind me of those short comings?', he lamented.

When prison authorities were contacted about Abdulmutallab's complaints they responded that they are looking into the matter, and that this wouldn't leave a skidmark on Abdulmutallab's reputation as an otherwise model prisoner. One with a clean record since he has been in custody and has been assigned to work in the prison laundry room.

As a matter of fact some authorities were surprised and perplexed that Abdulmultallab was complaining at all. One authority stated, ' We just increased his privileges in the laundry room because of the great job he is doing, we now allowed him to be able to listen to some music while he is toiling down there, do you know that Jerry Lee Lewis song "Great Balls of Fire?".