Toilet Guilt! YOU are Guilty As Charged!

POLL: How Many Times Does Your Household Flush?

You may select 1 option

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The polar ice caps are melting before our eyes . . . the seas are rising . . . coastal areas are flooding . . . archipela--archapeli--archepelo--whole island chains are sinking beneath the rapidly cresting waves, swallowing stone age tribes, rare animal species, and exotic plants that might have a potential AIDS cure . . .

Meanwhile, WATERING YOUR LAWN IS FORBIDDEN AS WE HAVE A WATER SHORTAGE AND MUST CONSERVE EVERY DROP! All EMS services have been eliminated from the county budget due to greedy homeowners who voted for lower property taxes*, but the Lawn Watering Patrol continues to be fully funded and activated.

All industrialized countries are asked to stop flushing their toilets and using toilet paper. They are to send billions of dollars to poorer, developing countries to help them figure out why they suffer from so much widespread disease and epidemics like cholera and dysentery.

Oh yes, and we should absolutely be more like all the other countries! Yes, we must implement all these social programs because that's what all the other countries are doing! We Progs are adolescents unable to resist peer pressure. We don't wanna be freaks! Freaks get ostracized and beat up all the time, just look what happened during the past eight years!

Of course, if any country is invaded or suffers a massive earthquake or tsunami or famine, I don't know who they'll be able to turn to for help, do you? Do you think China will air-drop food and first aid packages on New Orleans if it's hit by another Katrina?

*According to Mikael Rudolph, aka The Mime, property taxes in Minneapolis are collected at the federal level. This should be the law everywhere!



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Comrades, shit is a useful material and we are all just flushing it away! It can be turned into food (remember your People's Tasty CremeTM), ground-breaking legislation (like ObamaCare) or in an emergency, pressed into service as a substitute brain:




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If you must flush, then use only the very best, reserved for Made Progs only of course.

Image or Image This one says:
Help us keep Mother Earth beautiful
Please Use Both Sides
Of This Toilet Paper