Fifty Shades of Government delivers a classy-looking, in a Cialis-TV-commercial way, story of the American people who have turned over full control of their lives to their government. As their personal stories become increasingly subservient to government-approved media narratives, the film portrays their submissiveness to the government as gratifying and empowering experience.
Advance ticket sales are dominated by Democrat voters, who will likely bring their friends and family, making the overall turnout 90% progressive.
What the critics say about the film:
[indentr]Entertainment Weekly: "Losing control of your lives never felt so good."
Hollywood Reporter: "Wonderfully devoid of any conflict, as it should be in real life."
Rolling Stone: "With movable parts like these, who needs acting skills?"
Vanity Fair: "Not the lame, hot-and-bothered fantasy many conservatives said it would be. It's got insight that Hayek never had."
New York Times: "The movie's long, narcissistic speeches may be a downer, but then, no one goes to see it for the dialogue."
MSNBC: "The chemistry between the well-matched slavish individual and the dominant government offers a non-stop thrill up one's leg. They truly are the star-crossed couple."
Variety: "Too bad the romantic fun recedes as the action plunges into darker, oppressive territory. No one likes a spoiler, especially that this may well be our future."
The People's Cube: "The most satisfying definition of 'be mine' wrapped in a fact-based romantic comedy with a fair share of consensual violence, as naïve American voters embark on an affair with a powerful and deep-pocketed political machine."[/indentr]~
Another version of this movie poster is targeting conservative and Tea Party audiences with the iconic image of Uncle Sam because, according to focus groups, this demographic is more likely to be seduced by patriotic imagery.
I thank you both for your compassion. I think that we should put aside our differences here and Move Forward!™ with the knowledge that we each have the interest of The People™ at heart. I freely admit that I committed an inadvertant act of treachery for which I am willing to pay penance for. Let us be reminded that we are strong as a Kollective™. Such petty disputes are not good for the image of The Party™. We should all remember that we are all being watched at all times by one another, to ensure that none of us falls into our old habits. It is a kindness that only a kollektive can produce, to ensure the proper thinking is shared among us all. Addendum: Please insert the word "Ko-operative" in place of the kapitalist term "Company".
Have you all forgotten that "company" is merely a euphemism for government controlled, regulated and taxed entity and tool of education for the masses. Through companies and corporations, we teach The People™ to be compliant Citizens™, whilst educating them to accept rates of taxation we could not otherwise convince them is beneficial for the Greater Good™.
Until the World of Next Tuesday arrives, The Party will continue to encourage large campaign donations, from "companies", to ensure continuity of economic prosperity for those who are friendly to Party™ policies. In return, all competition is regulated into compliance or out of existence and, when Next Tuesday™ arrives, we will follow the model of General Motors. Companies will build the products The Party™ approves.
"Companies" are a necessary vehicle of Hope and Change.
Remember, it doesn't matter what The Current Truth™ is. It matters how The Current Truth™ is packaged.