Comrade al-Bergdahl being 'swiftboated'

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Ignoring that little guilty plea for desertion and misbehavior before the enemy, People's Hero ™ Bowe Al-Berghdal should be immediately appointed to Ambassador to the new Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan. Who is better qualified to shepherd Nancy Pelosi's United States interests in the region? He knows the region, probably speaks the language and could have three or more wives waiting for him to come home.

The current Taliban spokesman, Khairullah Khairkhwa, was being detained by the United States at one time but then was exchanged for U.S. Army deserter Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl while Premier Cho Bai-Din was first understudy to His O'liness, Dear Leader B. Hussein Obama (PBUH). Kjairkhwa may have been overheard to say " He was a tool in 2014, he can be our tool now."

Senate Confirmation will depend on the tiebreaking vote of Kamala Harris, who will need to be brought back from the Witness Protection Program long enough to place a winning vote.

When asked, Premier Bai-Din heartily endorsed the nomination, stating "Didn't I have a dog named Bo? Where is that furry little guy? I miss him. Are we having applesauce today?"