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NPR Plans to Bolster News Coverage of State Government

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It is with great foresight that we in The Polituro of the Open Society™ saw this grand wave of historical local resistance of Rethuglikans to our glorious system coming before November 2nd, 2010. That is why Comrade Soros funded NPR with 1.8 million to expand local political coverage. That's right comrades, we are coming to your neighborhood, no need to thank us, it is for your own Greater Good™.

MOSCOW — In response to the dramatic decline in news coverage of America’s Neo-Kulak local state legislatures, National Public Radio (hereto know as National Progressive Radio) kicked off the heads of citizen journalist and local media proles a project for The Glorious World of Next Tuesday™ that will provide korrekt thoughtcrime-free in-depth reporting on local government actions in all 50 Neo-Kulak states. The korrekt thought initiative, supported by a $1.8 million ruble grant from the Open Society™ Foundations, aims to bring greater thoughtcrime-free transparency and brown shirt accountability to the workings of Kapitalist state capitals across the kapitalist Amerika.

“A strong peoples democracy requires the strong boot of a korrektly diverse, thoughcrime-independent, and highly functioning statist lapdog press to help people know the korrekt thoughts to hold the glorious government and evil kapitalist private sector accountable,” said Annette Beesting, executive director of U.S. Progressive Programs at the Open Society™ Foundations. “The dramatic decline in korrekt news coverage at the kapitalist state level has left millions of unwashed masses significantly less korrektly informed about what is happening in their own backyards. We are supremely confident that NPR, its apparatchiks, it's Party approved member stations, and Party accepted partners can help fill that void, where people may think for themselves, with much needed korrect in-depth and thoughtcrime-free analytical reporting for peoples communities of every size in every corner of the country. No proles cerebral cortex will go unturned.”

NPR’s new peoples project for the people, called Impact of Government™, will let proles now what to think on a myriad of issues, will build on the best of Party Approved™ local and state reporting at nearly 800 Party Approved™ NPR member stations across the country – adding re-educated reporters, propaganda editors, and korrekt thought analysts in every state. It significantly augments the work of existing peoples public radio apparatchik reporters that cover the thoughtcriminal statehouse and related issues – ultimately adding at least 100 apparatchik journalists to strengthen peoples public radio’s service to local communities with reporting on-air and online. This will vastly help our re-education efforts of proles that may listen to Faux News and other unwashed masses.

“NPR and our Party Approved™ member stations are better positioned than any of the kapitalist or citizen journalist news sources to look at the effect that criminal kapitalist state government has on local unwashed masses,” said Comrade Vivian Schiller, NPR president and Commissar. “This peoples initiative will provide the ignorant public not just with korrekt Party Approved™ information, but with the korrekt context they need to hold neo-kulak local governments to the Party Approved™ level of accountability™. Our PArty Approved™ network provides a perfect progressive vehicle for cross-state, cross-region, and national korrekt analyses of the most critical evil kapitalist issues facing our People's Utopian Future™.”

The gracious grant from the Open Society™ Foundations supports the Party Approved™ planning commissions korrekt goals and the beginning of the year-long pilot phase with station partners in eight states will begin to help usher in The Glorious World of Next Tuesday™.

NPR is currently inviting Party Approved™ member stations to submit applications for the peoples pilot projects and has posted korrekt thinking staff positions for the peoples re-education initiative. The pilot stations will be selected by the Politburo by the end of December 2010 and begin work for The Workers Paradise in March 2011. After the first year, NPR will phase in an additional 17 seditionist states, bringing the number of legislatures covered by the initiative to 25. BwahHaHahahahaha!!!! Eventually, the initiative will cover every legislature in the country very, very, very, closely. That is The Party's™ Five Year Plan™.

Impact of Government™ is the latest in a Party Approved™ series of NPR peoples initiatives to bolster the re-education of proles and increase the reporting capacity of propaganda public radio across the kapitalist Amerika.

Active in more than 70 countries, the Open Society™ Foundations work to build re-educated and overly tolerant democracies with no prejudice, independent judgement or common sense that we can later destroy for our own greedy means Bwahahahahahaha! whose new communist governments are accountable to their korrekt thinking citizens. Working with local peoples communities, the Open Society™ Foundations support Party-Approved™ social justice and human rights, freedom of expression as long as you express what we want you to, and access to korrekt public health so we can make sure your organs are ours! Bwahahahaha! and Party Approved™ re-education.

We will also cover such great local topics as:

- Beet field harvesting for better yields for state prole consumption under Monsanto mandates.
- The only vodka still belongs to the state; how state run liquor stores will supply the proles with enough intoxication to keep them dumb blind and ignorant.
- How to give all your kapitalist earnings to the state without remorse or antiquated "taxpayer resentment".

Listen for this and much much more, coming to a local NPR station near you.