[floatleft-nb]I have been selflessly orbiting Earth
since 1957, breaking space endurance
records, proving Soviet Space Program
is more advanced than Amerikanski
Program. Man on the moon, ptooey!
Amerikanski not returned to moon
since 1972, and I am still up here!

But I would like to come back to Earth
and help Amerikanski workers and
farmers defeat capitalist oppressors
and live happily like Soviet workers
and farmers. They could use help
from Hero Dog of Soviet Union,
Friend of People, no?

Laika (Controlling your tinfoil hats
since 1957)

Red September! A Million Barking Moonbats and a Coup D'Etat!

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Underdog and I first heard the knock at the door sometime after midnight August 3rd. After being separated from Polly Purebred, Udie was in need of some comfort and being in delicato, I called down the hall to my trustful manservant, Kommander Kenneth to answer the door.

"Laika, get down here, it's Chief Warrant Officer Smersh!" yelled a startled Ken, up the steps towards my bedroom.

"Give me a minute while I dress" I replied.

It had been a while since we had seen Smersh. Since the purge of K. he had been wandering aimlessly looking for a new bureaucratic position until Hillary took pity upon him and made him her C.W.O.

"What have you got for me Smersh?" as he handed me a large manila envelope marked TOP SECRET.

"Direct Orders from Hillary herself" was Smersh's reply. "I have no idea of its contents."

"Well, let's find out." I said as I opened the large envelope.
I nearly fainted, but as you know, Space Dogs never faint.

It read:

To: Laika and Kommander Kenneth

On September 20, 2005 Kommander Kenneth is to turn on the frequency and Laika is to activate the tinhats on all the Barking Moonbats in Lunar Orbit, signaling for them to proceed to Earth and to land in Washington D.C. on September 24th. When in Washington D.C. you will order the Moonbats to surround the White House. At 1400 hrs sharp Cindy Sheehan will lead the Moonbats in singing Kumbaya behind the South Portico distracting the Marine Guards while you lead the rest of the contingent in storming the Northern Main Entrance (Don't worry, I had a key made in 2000 while looting the china, it'll be easy) At 1430 hrs I shall stand on the South Portico balcony and declare myself President to the adoring crowds basking in my glory!

We expect little opposition since most capitalist bourgeoisie are resting on Saturday because of being overworked and overtaxed. Our spies have detected that some radical fringe group called "Protest Warrior" and their miniscule minions will be there to "protect" the White House. We will simply overwhelm them with our superior proletarian numbers.

I am counting on you two, Laika and Kenneth!

The time is now. We cannot wait for 2008!

Witness by my hand,
Hillary Rodham Clinton
August 3rd 2005

Stunned, we all stood there looking at each other for about a minute.

"Well let's not just stand here, let's get moving! We have a month's time to work with and get these logistics figured out. I'll get working on the calculated burn time for the Moonbats to pull them out of orbit, site the gimbal, correct the perigee and apogee, and get the angle of degrees for the descent upon Washington D.C. so the Moonbats won't fry on re-entry."

"Kenneth, you need to round up Hollywood, call Streisand, Sheen, Beatty, Asner, Garofalo, et al.... Order lots of Port-a-Potties, Busses, Banners. Smersh, tell Hillary we got the orders and could you notify the Cube...we'll need lots of slogans!"

"Let's go, this is a Coup D'Etat for Hillary!"




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Brave Laika be careful. The enemy is already on to you. They have a top secret early warning detection system!


Thank you Comrade Otis, but we are already aware of their secret early warning detection system! We have received from a special Rastafarian holy man a magical blend of Jamaican ganja that will render the Moonbats invisible to this system. Call it a 'smoke screen" if you will.





The Millionth Moonbat
Ow wow!]<pffffft><cough><cough>
I was there on October 21, 1967 when we levitated the Pentagon. People said we didn't but that's a lie, I was there, we did!


I say we should levitate the White House man! <pffffft><cough><cough>That'd be far out, man! <pffffft><cough><cough>
Ow wow, oh wow man! Wouldn't it be glorious if Hillary was giving her coup speech from the South Portico when we did the levitation? <pffffft><cough><cough>
Here man, pass it on, I didn't want to bogart it too much.




WJC not inhaling.
Shazzam! Pass that over here Moonbat! <pffffft><cough><cough>
I got a slight cold. I didn't inhale. You didn't see me inhale (wink, wink)
Hot damn! That's some good sh*t!
I gotta turn my brother Roger on to that, I owe him a few.
Where did you get this?



The Millionth Moonbat
Ow wow! Far out! You used to be the Prez!   Man, you blew a mean sax! And then you got blown! Ow wow!
Yeah, this stuff is tasty. I got from a Space Dog. I think she's Russian. Her name is Micah.



Kommander Kenneth
Laika! I just received further orders from C.W.O. Smersh. It's sad news. The original keeper of the frequency, Dan Rather, has retired, like Khrushev, due to duress and outliving his usefulness. He can be found tending his potato patch at that exclusive old comrade retirement community, The Dachas at Potempkin Village TM. Hillary has asked that before Cindy sings, we have a moment of silence for Dan, raise our left fist and say "Courage".
I'll miss Dan, the frequency will never be the same without him!



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Red September Part II......

Kommander Kenneth and I had just finished most of the logistics for the Coup on the 24th. Udie was to stop over for some cocktails by the fireplace and we were going to try and have a relaxing evening when we first heard it, faint at first, and then it grew louder.....
Bush Baaaaaaaadddd!
War Baaaaaaadddd!
Cindy Goooooddd!

Over and over, louder and louder and it kept on approaching....
Bush Baaaaaaaadddd!
War Baaaaaaadddd!
Cindy Goooooddd!

Until the whole house was trembling with this bleating sound!
"Laika, come quick, look out the window!" screamed Kenneth. "I've never seen anything like this."
There, outside our humble dacha, were about 10,000 of what looked to be a hybrid cross of sheep and aging Woodstock Hippy.
We demand Laiiiiiiikaaaaa!
We demand Laiiiiiiikaaaaa!

What could they possibly want with me, I asked myself? I'm a Space Dog, not a German Shepard. If they need a herding dog they've got the wrong pup.
I opened the door and oh...the stink, they smelled like they spent their summer in the hot, sweaty Texas sun, in a ditch or something...
"Who are you and what do you want?" I queried.
"We are the Sheehan Sheeple, we want coup."
"That's very fine and good, but you see, we've already got a coup of our own going, now go home..shoo...shoo...."
"Cindy to sing Kumbaaaaaayaaaa at coup, our shepard, we follow everywhere, we must be invited to same coup."
"Oh, I see, Ken, call Smersh and get Hillary"
Within minutes Smersh was on the line with Hillary's orders...Invite the Sheehan Sheeple. I was hoping otherwise but orders are orders. Now there will be two sponsers...The Million Moonbat March and The Almost, But Not Quite a Million Sheehan Sheeple March.
"Kenneth, take note, we're going to need a ton of soap."
At this point, I think things were getting out of control.
All I knew was there was going to be a lot of wing flapping, guano, bleating, and sheep sh*t in Washington D.C. on the 24th.

TO BE CONTINUED............



More evidence of subversive exploitation! These people must be dealt with on the 24th!




C. Ray Nagin
The evacuation of the refugees from the concentration camps Bush set up for my people after he engineered that hurricane that destroyed my city will begin around September 21st. I've just now located a bunch of school buses not too far from the Superdome that needs a little cleaning but I'm sure will suffice in bringing tens of thousands to Hillary's Coup. I might even requisition a limosine or two for myself. (I have the power to do that in a time of emergency, I just found that out too!) Our advance team will be there around the 22nd. They are members of SCUM Local 13, New Orleans Chapter of Looters, and they will be liberating food, water, TVs, Playstations, alcohol and various bling-bling....well not so much food and water, I'm sure the government can provide that, but you know, whatever they can find for the Common Good TM. The vanguard will arrive the 23rd and we shall be in position the 24th. We have a great slogan! "Bush Frowned while Thousands Drowned." You can count on me Laika! (except in a time of true crisis.)

Still Pissed, but pissin' in the wind,
C. Ray Nagin

Mayor Nagin assures a worried proletariat that the buses will be cleaned up in time for the Coup!



Jerry Jeff Walker
Yes pissin' in the wind, bettin' on a losing friend
Makin' the same mistakes, we swear we'll never make again
And we're pissin' in the wind, and it's blowing on all our friends
We're gonna sit and grin and tell our grandchildren



Comrade Breshnev
To all patriotic protesters in DC... We will be having free food, served up hot and slow, from McLenins!


We will be having McCommunism burgers, and Stalin freedom camp fries.  Also for Sale... Trinkos.

There will be an al-Jesserah viewing room next door, and free copies of Pravda available, along with your usual revolutionary literature!



Comrade Eric
Let's teach those hippies what liberalism REALLY is!



Looters of the World UNITE!
Prepare for looting from the bourgeoisie of the RedState of Texas (Home of Ultra Capitalists Lapping Dogs -Prof.Evil and President Stupid, and H.I.Burton!)

Comrade Fido Castro Oil has coordinated with the Peoples Anti-weather machine and has once again steered the Glorious Jihadists RITA -once again-towards the land of Evil Capitalists.

Fear not Comrade Looters - our Peoples' Leader Sheclinton -in coordination with Sheeman -the Grieving Mother Socialists Glorious Anti-Semite will re-direct all attention away from our target of lootery - They will stage their final coup de tator in the center of Capitalistic Explotation and center of all Racsism of the entire universe - a.k.a. Washington DC - soon to be renamed Hillaryville Socialist Center of the USsA!

While all eyes are on their decoy operations - we will loot freely -and also - don't forget rape, pillage, general mayhem, and even sacrifices for the Peoples Welfare - are not only authorized - but most highly encouraged. A special brigade of men -hiding behind women, children, elderly will also be involved (they are the secret shock troops of the DnC - known as "the home base"). Stay out of their ways - they have tree saws and are authorized to take peoples' cranial tops from off the shoulders)!

Looters of the NewOrleans and ghettos of the World UNITE - this weekend!!!



User avatar
T-minus ten seconds.....
seven...all systems go
Launch the frequency Kenneth!


Star City, we have successful Moonbat launch. All million tinhats have been activated and the Moonbats are on their way to DC!

Kenneth, get me my new flight vest! Everyone have a cigar, courtesy of Fidel, Bill & Monica.



Kommander Kenneth
Laika Space Dog! We have a problem.
One of the main patchouli tanks on the re-entry vehicle has exploded. We're losing hundreds of gallons of patchouli per minute. At this rate, we won't be able to grease every Moonbat ponytail to protect them on re-entry and some of them will fry in the upper atmosphere upon returning to Earth. We could switch over to a reserve sandalwood tank, but that's risky. All I know is failure is not an option.....Hillary would have us shot. Are there any Comrade Moonbatical Engineers out there that can help? Please! Time is short!




Fawn Rainforest
Wow, look at that! Dropping out of the sky! Rare, endangered Moonbats! They're so cute.



There will be an al-Jesserah viewing room next door, and free copies of Pravda available, along with your usual revolutionary literature!



The Peoples' Motivator
Ah! The Zionist Criminal Bush's day of reckoning approaches on the wings of the moonbats, who will sweep down as one communal scythe and cut his errant image from this last den of moralist fools; may the nations rise up to greet the new America as its green fields are dyed a striking red from the cholesterol-saturated blood of the bourgeoisie!

Now, moonbats, this is your moment! May the eternal spirits of Lenin and Stalin add such a force to your righteous assault that you come down with a hammering force not before seen! Laika peers down from the heavens, do not let the People's Dog catch you off your guard! Osama Bin Laden prays for your success from his glorious Waziristani hideout, Kim Jong-Il adds his hope to yours, and somewhere, Joseph Biden is performing archaic rituals in your name! The whole world stands behind you, you mustn't fail!



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Red September part III

And then disaster struck! Kenneth was correct, the internal patchouli tank had been sabotaged. Without the patchouli, the Moonbats were not insulated enough to make the fiery re-entry to Earth. Nine out of ten Moonbats were incinerated. We still had enough to surround the White House, but not enough to carry the coup. It was a valiant effort but we had been betrayed....but by who? And who was going to tell Hillary?
With only 100,000 Moonbats, we did not have enough flapping wing power to levitate the White House, so this effort fell short.
One by one, our detailed plans began to fall apart. I knew that this could be the end for me and I began to look for my cyanide capsule.
Over and over again Kenneth and I couldn't believe it and then it became obvious. Where is Cindy? Where are the Sheehan Sheeple?
At precisely that moment two dispatches arrived. C.W.O. Smersh had made it through hostile lines to report Cindy was at the Ellipse and was dictating orders to Hillary! The second dispatch came from loyal Comrade Red Square who had actually infiltrated the Sheeple camp in Brooklyn, NY and had Cindy on video denouncing Hillary!
Menshevik! Trotskyite! Quisling! Traitor!
How dare she? This could mean Civil War!
Cindy Lied While Moonbats Fried!

to be continued........



User avatar
Hillary, I tried to warn you about this Trotskyite tart. If her betrayal and this picture isn't enough to purge her I don't know what is:

Her heart isn't in the revolution. All she really cares about is me, me, me and getting some action from young men in uniform. As bourgeois as they come! Look at the hand going up the leg and her big smile. Cindy Sheehan is a class enemy all about me, me, me. She would steal the revolution away from the workers! Represent! Represent!

Hmmm......Kinda gives new meaning to "Going to the pokey". Who's your bitch now, Ditch Witch?
As Frank Zappa would say "I poked and I stroked 'til my wrist got numb, but still couldn't get no Cindy Moe Hummm"




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what a pig...I hope that guy has gloves on...I can smell the yeast.



A Fellow Traveler.
Ugh. I second that. At least back in the sixties we were young and horny and stupid. When you're middle aged it just looks like you're stupid and horny. Who wants to see that? Yech!  Like a friend of mine said, how much dope does she do? Sheesh ...



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Why that F%cking B#tch! I'm gonna take her left t#t and rip it off and shove it up her (smash, bang, crash, the sound of broken glass tinkling) and then I'm gonna take her right t#t, bite that off and shove that up her (smash, bang, crash, the sound of broken glass tinkling)
She's gonna take a ride to Ft. Marcy Park and then a one way ticket to Ekaterinburg.
Call Dr. Malek.
Oh, look....I missed a ceramic lamp..(smash, bang, crash, the sound of broken glass tinkling)



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Looks like she's enjoying being hauled off. She probably thinks now she will get all the attention that Martha Stewart did when she was locked up.



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Where are the Rodney King cops when you need 'em??



Officer - please take off the gloves!

No way, not until you shut the f#@k up, you twisted freak. Jeezus H.! What's that stench? Smells like bilge water from a tuna boat. Holy cow, it's you Cindy! Even a half gallon of patchouli couldn't cover up that festering crotch rot.

The Officer



Premier Breshnev
Watch it now Hillary... You have not been left enough!   We could easily dissappear you, like we did to Comrade Kerry a few months ago.  Cindy Sheehan is also not left enough, because she will not join our comrades at the CPUSA or the WWP.



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Premier Breshnev wrote:Watch it now Hillary... You have not been left enough!   We could easily dissappear you, like we did to Comrade Kerry a few months ago.  Cindy Sheehan is also not left enough, because she will not join our comrades at the CPUSA or the WWP.

<Pravda slams shoe repeatedly on lectern>

YOU   WILL   BE   PURGED   YOU   OLD   DEAD   RED  !  !  !  !

another one for the gulag, bohemianlikeyou...get this crank to STFU.

Heil Hill!



Premier Breshnev
Uhhhm... Who has more power here?  A private or a Premier?  Anyway, Hillary must become part of the CPUSA to gurantee election, which she is doing right now.



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Premier Breshnev wrote:Uhhhm... Who has more power here?  A private or a Premier?  Anyway, Hillary must become part of the CPUSA to gurantee election, which she is doing right now.

Is that why she's been missing, or is it because someone got here with a wooden steak?



User avatar
Premier Breshnev wrote:Uhhhm... Who has more power here?  A private or a Premier?  Anyway, Hillary must become part of the CPUSA to gurantee election, which she is doing right now.

hrrmmm...I think the "live" Private outranks a "dead" Premier..."a Stoli for me..."<pours a shot onto the ground>"...and one for my dead homies..."

GET WITH IT DEAD GUY...you're DEAD!! Now get out there, vote, and crawl back into your casket!!



Premier Breshnev
I'm still a premier; like my comrade Lenin, I have the power to come back from the dead (to vote, to start revolutions, and so forth)

The good news is that Hillary is now a member of the CPUSA and is the vice premier of the glorius organization.



Breshnev might be dead, but Lenin Lives On Forever!



Laika the Space Dog wrote:"Let's go, this is a Coup D'Etat for Hillary!"