Official May Day Address 2007

Annual Transmission to Toiling Masses on occasion of May 1st International Workers' Solidarity Day

Delivered by Laika the Space Dog, Member of Politburo, Friend of Progressive People

Workers, peasants, and the unwashed toiling intelligentsia!

< prolonged applause >

Congratulations on surviving another glorious year of Revolution! This year we witnessed the collapse of the Republican Capitalist voting system! For the first time since 1994 no voting irregularities were reported in the mainstream media. The record turnout of dead voters, whom we like to call "necro-proxies of progress" has given the Democratic Socialists an absolute mandate to do whatever they damn well please in both The House of Representatives and The Senate. The absolutist rule of the Democratic majority shall bury the silly idea of a "republic" once and for all. Oh yes! We will bury you!

< Slams podium with shoe >

Let George Bush veto the appropriations bill, then we'll impeach him! The Mime (PBUH) will lead the way with Gloria Swanson and Alva Goldbook, three of our staunchest supporters! You're in trouble now Bushitler! Brains are on our side!

Our Islamic Comrades struggling against American Imperialism are relocating to paradise in record numbers, upgrading their housing conditions and engaging in responsible polygamous relationships with a guaranteed quota of 72 standard-issue upper-class virgins. The Zionist entity lost a war to Hezbollah, the social welfare organization second in compassion only to the UN. Flat Fatima and Green Helmut send their warmest fatwas to Reuters and other news media covering Israel's overreaction. Remember - only cowards don't hide behind the backs of older women and face the enemy!

Today will mark the second anniversary of "Get Out of School Free Day" for Hispanic trans-legal immigrants going to public schools. All indigenous people must join today's protest against the paved roads, power lines, TVs, radios, telephones, computers, indoor plumbing, irrigation, industries, schools, and hospitals. We demand equal redistribution of E. coli in all ethnic food! In other news, the Salvation Army was sued in Boston by the EEOC for firing two Spanish-speaking employees who were given a year to learn some basic English. How "La Raza" is that?

Next the EEOC must sue the US Army - until we have two separate Armies, one English speakers and one for Spanish speakers. Separate but Equal! This will make for a better unified command in a time of crisis and make giving orders easier. If it's good for The Salvation Army, it's good for the United States Army! Happy Protesting!

Now let us sing a Hymn:

(Click here for the musical accompaniment)

Hugo Filled the Boats With Oil
Algoreluia
Hugo Filled the Boats With Oil
Algoreluia
Hugo Filled the Boats With Oil
It's for Free You Shall Not Toil
Algoreluia

Joe brought the Boats to Shore
Algoreluia
Joe brought the Boats to Shore
Algoreluia
Joe brought the Boats to Shore
Free Oil for the Poor
Algoreluia

Most rewarding of all - a new religion besides Islam and Scientology that Socialism can give a wink and a nod to - The Reformed Church of Climatology (a.k.a. The Goremons). Praise be The Weather Stone! If it's hot, cold, wet, dry, windy, snowing, of foggy minded - that means Global Warming is near. Algore Akhbar! (PBUH) We need a qualified CPA to help us fill out the IRS 301 (3) C forms so we can launder money, acquire real estate, attract celebrities and try to look legitimate. Send resumes to Rev. L. Space Dogged c/o The People's Cube.

A-Neuter

We will now have the collection for the collective. Just press Pay Pal on the left hand side bar and you'll receive a Carbon Indulgence marked down in the Book of Goremon for all eternity.

In the Name of Marx. Lenin, and Stalin's Ghost
May Algore fleece thee and scare thee
May his Inconvenience frighten thee
Surrender and Impeachment brings thee Peace

A-Neuter

 

Quote:

We will now have the collection for the collective. Just press Pay Pal on the left hand side bar and you'll receive a Carbon Indulgence marked down in the Book of Goremon for all eternity.


Certainly, I just need to find a kkkapitlaist pig to tax first....
 

Will Party Elite be getting their tax-free goody bags this year? I remember last years goody bags had over 10 grand in exclusive crap filled to it's red baggy brim! Mmmm... I heard the Party was going to spoil us this year! Yes, I heard all Party nomenklatura would find a little suprise under their seats during the parade march today... mmmhhmmm... a little suprise courtesy of our friends at Aston-Martin! Tee hee hee! I can hardly contain myself!!!!! Where are those damn keys <looks under seat> where are they!?! OHHH! I found mine! Tee hee heee heeeee! Oh my, oh my... I can pick up some fancy broads in this toy... oh yes, I hope it's red too!
 

All worship the Goremon religion!

Hotel places Gore's global warming book in night stand instead of Bible...

Bloomberg News

April 27 (Bloomberg) -- Visitors to the Gaia Napa Valley Hotel and Spa won't find the Gideon Bible in the nightstand drawer. Instead, on the bureau will be a copy of ``An Inconvenient Truth,'' former Vice President Al Gore's book about global warming.

They'll also find the Gaia equipped with waterless urinals, solar lighting and recycled paper as it marches toward becoming California's first hotel certified as ``green,'' or benevolent to the environment. Similar features are found 35 miles south at San Francisco's Orchard Garden Hotel, which competes for customers with neighboring luxury hotels like the Ritz-Carlton and Fairmont.
 

Transmission from Laika Space Dog:

Climatology is on the rise; 76% of Americans claim to be Goremaneons. Other religions, Christianity, Judaism, Catholicism, Buddhism, etc..... (with the exception of Islam) are being categorized as "unpopular religions" in a effort promote the Later Day Church of Climatology, much in same way we are promoting defeat in Iraq.
 

Speaking of Gideon Bibles... today on my annual post-May Day visit to a college campus, I happened to find one of these "white Christian males" handing out Bibles to the unwashed student masses.... this disturbed me and calls for an article in the People's Blog.

We (the collective) have worked tirelessly to eradicate such opiates (other than pills and other assorted drugs of choice) from colleges across the globe, and now they are evangelizing the youngsters... yes, evangelizing them! OUTRAGE! How much more OPM do we have to waste in order to get these kids properly indoctrinated and free of Western influence! HOW MUCH MORE MONEY WILL IT TAKE! TRILLIONS!? ZILLIONS!?! HOW MUCH MORE RETHUGLIKKKANS!? WE WON'T STOP UNTIL YOUR KID IS WORSHIPPING MOTHER EARTH AND BUYING AL GORE'S MOVIE!!!!

You have been warned...
 

On a different note, I wonder if Lupe has been at the May Day immigration protests and what she thought about them (apart from what she told Nancy, which in itself is something I'd like to hear).

Lupe? Hello? Anybody seen Lupe?
 

Lupe right here! Lupe right here! Happy May Day! Uhhh...uhhhh... Lupe see that many Mexihans come out to denounce Bush... Lupe... Lupe see that many Mexihans come with flags and...and there six people here... yes, six people total here denouncing the Minute Haters and the curent Bushler Administration! Yes, and...and Lupe is demanding more money! I need more money and Lupe need free healthcare, housing and three minutes of Telemundo! Yes! Lupe want three minutes of Telemundo! Uh oh... Mees Nancy over shoulder! Mees Nancy over shoulder! MNOS! Owww! Owww! Stop hitting me Mees Nancy! Owww! You good boss! You good boss! Owwww! I working on English, Mees Nancy! I say nothing bad about you! See! Look at Lupe English! Look at Lupe English! I have better grammar than the Chairman does! See! See! Owwwww! No... Noooo! Not Lupe's arm! Not Lupe's arm! <crack> AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!



:: END OF TRANSMISSION::

Clinton/Pelosi '08

We do it for the children!
 

Quote:

Stop hitting me Mees Nancy! Owww!

Quote:

Owwwww! No... Noooo! Not Lupe's arm! Not Lupe's arm! <crack> AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


I didn't know Madame Speaker was into S&M as well... this could be bad news if the republikkkans find out.
 

I've been "Mimed"!
I have rights you know, oh yes, I have rights!
Ask the Mime!
Free Speech!
Free Speech!
Free Speech!
Ohhh...and Free Healthcare! Free Housing! Free Jelly Donuts! Free Lunch! Free Mumia! Free Bryan Hathaway!
Free The Wisconsin Four!

Let us not forget the brave Venison Rights struggle of Bryan Hathaway and the three individuals who were framed in trying to help a necro-proxy of progress vote!

Part of my transmission was jammed!
Quit jammin' me!
Was that Bvt. Field Marshal Pravda that jammed me?
Do I look like a Mime?

This excerpt didn't make the final cut:

What can we say about the tragic victim at Virginia Tech that The Daily Kos couldn't have done better?
Poor Cho!
We all know that guns kill people, along with Capitalism, and eventually Global Warming.
The 'This Is a Gun Free Zone" signs didn't work, so let the confiscation of firearms begin. It's for The Common Good.
 

Yes, Laika! Guns are the root of the problem in this country, as many other problems, but as we all know, roots are a tangled mass, not just a lone root. So if you view the problems as a tree, the 'roots' of the tree are many and varied.

To help combat the gun root, we need merely look to the words of the Father of Da Revolution:

A system of licensing and registration is the perfect device to deny gun ownership to the bourgeoisie.
Vladimir I. Lenin, first and only true leader of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (Сою́з Сове́тских Социалисти́ческих Респу́блик)

O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
 

O'Brien

Yes, Laika! Guns are the root of the problem in this country, as many other problems

So is freedom of speech...which is why Party members in the House are pushing for the "fairness" doctrine, to silence kkkonservafascist talk radio! H.R. 3302 would declare Limbaugh, Savage and others "threats to national security." The party is well on the way of establishing a true utopia, where the toiling masses get the Party's news, and all those who disagree are purged.
 

Branish

... all those who disagree are purged.

Or sent to live on a commune with Alva Pinhead.

Let the brainwashing .. er .. I mean .. reedukation begin!!!

Come my young protege''s!!! Let us bask in the light that is the Socialist GLORY of Her Excellency, Empress HRC!!!


--
Zampolit B. S. Blokhayev