[floatleft-nb]I have been selflessly orbiting Earth
since 1957, breaking space endurance
records, proving Soviet Space Program
is more advanced than Amerikanski
Program. Man on the moon, ptooey!
Amerikanski not returned to moon
since 1972, and I am still up here!

But I would like to come back to Earth
and help Amerikanski workers and
farmers defeat capitalist oppressors
and live happily like Soviet workers
and farmers. They could use help
from Hero Dog of Soviet Union,
Friend of People, no?

Laika (Controlling your tinfoil hats
since 1957)
[/floatleft-nb]

2006 Annual May Day Communiqué From Laika

User avatar
To the Workers, Peasants, Unwashed Toiling Intelligentsia, and the Party Privileged: You may now put on your tinfoil hats to receive the transmission.

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In honor of Dan Rather, Komrade Kenneth will assist Dan in sending the signal. The frequency is now set. Dan, you may throw the switch and begin transmission:

Today Comrades, millions of socialists are taking to the streets of Amerika to advance the cause of the Welfare State! All borders shall be removed! The Mexicomintern Council has been working very hard with La Raza these past few months, blending fascism and socialism to come up a unique brand of progressive thought which is bound to destroy the Evil Gringo Bush and his capitalist knaves. Assimilation? No! Domination? Yes! Free stuff (hospital care) for everybody! We'll march today and get drunk on Friday, Cinco de Mayo! Even the Mexicans have kicked French Ass!

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Another glorious year has passed in the triumphant march of Progressive Socialism! Many Great Leaps Forward have been made. United Google and China stand stronger than ever! Strange, hurtful words like democracy, freedom, human rights, and political prisoners have been purged and cleansed from the Internet in China with the courage and ingenuity of the engineers at Google. Bravo! The progressive world applauds Google for your stand against such outlandish ideas. It's a shame we had a little misunderstanding with you here at People's Cube, but we forgive you. The Order of Lenin has been sent C.O.D. to Comrade Brin. (Sorry about that Sergei, the Cube is a little short on cash; proletarians haven't been buying enough revolutionary t-shirts, and with the cost of vodka and caviar going up, sacrifices have to be made.)

ImageGreetings from Premier Hillary, Chairman Dean, Commissar Murtha, Sheik bin Laden, Code Pink, United for Peace and Justice, Mother Sheehan, and other various and assorted sundry Barking Moonbat Fifth Columnists I may have overlooked, but which are certainly appreciated in all of our many class struggles with the running chain dogs of Capitalism, especially the evil George W. Bush and his Gang of Four, Rumsfeld, Rove, Rice, and Cheney!

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Tip your tin hats in a salute to the French! Appeasement does work if you riot with zeal and determination! Kudos to the Eurabian Muslims and socialist students who taught the weak socialist French government that all of the planet's ills can only be cured with Strong Communism! This year will see a return of the Communard and there will be no interference this time from Das Neuterland. A century of failure proves nothing!

While on the subject of appeasement, critical negotiations are in progress between the Democratic Party and Islamofascism. Hillary will announce that once sworn in as President of the United States in 2009, on the 70th Anniversary of the Nazi-Soviet Non-Aggression Pact, she will sign a Non-Aggression Pact with the Islamofascist World represented by Osama bin-Laden. Bells will ring and Moonbats will sing! Dean and Ahmadinejad will join. For now, ignore any hawkish talk by Hillary, she knows what she is doing...she had two great mentors, Adolph Hitler (PBUH) and Comrade Stalin (PBUH).

What more can we say about Hugo Chavez that hasn't been said already? Kind, caring, brilliant - you just name it! Che Guevara must be smiling down from Communist Heaven... oh wait, make that Communist Godless Heaven... you know what I mean. Fidel has been lonely for so long since Daniel Ortega was voted out, so now he has somebody to play dictator with in Latin America and isn't that grande?

Hooray for Hollywood! Hooray for Hollywood! Wow, what a year! Brokeback Mountain, Syriana, V for Vendetta, the list just goes on and on... The Culture War is as good as won. Thank you Hollywood and all of your celebrities who always answer the call of progress! You are Legion for you are many!

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Cindy Sheehan? That name speaks volumes for itself and for itself and for itself and for itself and for itself. Casey did not die in vain, for without his death the world would never have known about Cindy. What's that Cindy? He did die in vain? Well I certainly f#%ked that one up, didn't I? I apologize. You can sit down now Cindy. Sit! I said sit down and be quiet. Can you do that for May Day? Just once? Will somebody from the Red Guards gag her? Just until I finish my May Day Communiqué and then you can let her off her chain. Thanks.

Refreshments will now be served at the Google hospitality suite, you can't miss it, it is right next to the NAMBLA children's day care pavilion we've set up for today's celebration if you brought your kids, especially little boys.

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This year's food theme is "Viva Illegal Aliens!" Gobs of tacos and refried beans will be served with threats of a Mexican takeover in California, New Mexico, Arizona, Texas and the Upper Peninsula of Michigan... so watch out "Yoopers"! Compliments of La Raza - they've been cooking up their wonderful takeover schemes for weeks. Once more, 160 years of history proves nothing. Only tofu tacos will be served: meat is murder and we don't want to offend our vegan terrorist sponsors ELF and ALF.

We've got loads of Budweiser thanks to the Rev. Jesse Jackson and plenty of the hard stuff compliments of Teddy Kennedy. For those of you who don't drink alcohol, there's purple Kool-Aid and Bush flavored Haterade (the only flavor). Bill Clinton brought the "kind bud" so ask him to roll you one, just don't inhale. Have I missed anybody? If so, post a comment in the Cube.

It's been another great year, keep up the good work, and enjoy your one and only holiday!

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The Hero Space Dog of Socialism,
Laika

 

 

Union Boss
I have recieved the communique, and I have ordered my mindless  minions to march! I love strikes of any fashion. Even if only for a day. I revel in watching the  puppets dance. I do have great repect for my toilers. Without them, how would I earn 70 grand a year, sitting on my ass? Just think, without unions I would probably have to achieve. What a nightmare. Thank god for communism, where everyone lives in equality, except for the chosen few, like me. Well, obviously equality is a myth, but as long as they believe it, does it matter??

 

 

The List Admin.
Happy May Day, Laika!

Love,
The Dick List

 

 

User avatar
I'm surprised there haven't been any major riots yet. Try that with a bunch of stinky Hippies, and everything will go to hell.

 

 

User avatar
Ohh I moan with the progressive truth funneling itself into my tin-foil fashion statement that sits upon my socialist brow. Oh praise Laika! I totally sympathize with this years {INSERT VICTIM GROUP} in there struggle to obtain the rights and freedom we as Amerikans have fought  so hard to preserve. We must allow our Mexicomrades to join our cause in Amerika as full committed sheep to help elect progressive leaders for centuries to come. Mobilize Jesse Jackson,multicultralist, revisionist historians, mobilize it all!!! Where is dear Professor P.?? Where is he? I bet he is marching whith our brethren right now holding a the torch of freedom welcoming many more "indigenous peoples" back into there homeland!!!

Soiling myself and filing the proper papers,
Chairman Meow

P.S- Union Boss, your honesty is inspiring and a true testament of what a good Demokrat is... May your membership dues this May Day be large sweaty bills swelling in your coffers at the exspense of those we like to "give a hand up".

 

 

User avatar
For the revolution, go here, and click on the "May Day" link on the right side of hte page. It's worth it, I promise.

https://english.aljazeera.net/NR/exeres ... 071264.htm

 

 

Gagarin
Well said, Comrade Laika Space Dog!

The Party renews its praise of our brave Mexicomrades: it was with their acquiescence and help that the counter-revolutionary and enemy of the people Trotsky was snuffed, wasn't it? That's right, no capitalist roader running dog should feel safe!

 

 

Re: The progressive world applauds Google for your stand against such outlandish ideas.

More kudos to activists at Google!  Now if you search for CIA factbook

https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=CIA+factbook

the link that comes up is:

  • CIA - The World Factbook
    United States government profiles of countries and non-self-governing territories around the world. Information on geography, people, government, ...
    https://www.debugthissite.org/cia/ publications/factbook/index.html - 25k - Cached - Similar pages
Hmm, debug this site? Matt Cutts strikes again?

The real CIA World Factbook site is still active, ooglies haven't mastered the art yet.

 

 

How can you undervalue the truly equality enhancing work down by the ACLU. They deserve praise for their unending work in defense of Totalitarianism. However the Party must never award praise as it is anathema to equality.

 

 

Swamp Rat
Viva La Raza!  Happy May Day Laika!

 

 

User avatar
I am honored and flattered to have such praise, but all praise belongs to the Party. May Day was a great success this year! Take tomorrow off too! Your boss won't mind, besides, the Party approves it. Solidarity Comrades!

 

 

Premier Breshnev
Swamp Rat wrote:Viva La Raza!  Happy May Day Laika!


Go get em, Mexican comrades!!!!

 

 

Premier Breshnev wrote:
Swamp Rat wrote:Viva La Raza!  Happy May Day Laika!


Go get em, Mexican comrades!!!!

Not actually Mexican, more like under their rule :)

 

 


 
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