As every right-wing fascist knows, democracy is cumbersome and inefficient. Try to get something accomplished and you find yourself butting heads with every unwashed, uncouth commoner who has no conception of what's good for Class, Empire and the world. Take this Cindy Sheehan phenomenon and the massive, spontaneous anti-Imperialist movement that's taken the country by storm. This anti-war movement threatens all our plans to impose Capitalism and American military domination like a dark Roman night over the rest of the world.
Fellow members of the Capitalist class! It's time we take stock of this anti-war domestic crisis. If we are to manipulate Democracy and force our will on world events we must be forthright and honest with ourselves. Let's admit that as a class we've become narrow-minded in our outlook, blind to our own prejudices, projecting our bigotries onto the oppressed classes. We've become so isolated from the world community that we never think outside the box of our own ideology.
My fellow Capitalists! Set aside your prejudices and bigotries against peace-loving socialist blisters on civilization's ass! We must win their hearts, minds, and votes! We must own their socialist Senators in Congress! Historically speaking, Vietnam War and our plans to impose Capitalism and sweatshop freedom throughout Asia and then the world were dashed when the Left rose up and ruined everything for us while we stood by and did nothing. We can't let Iraq turn into another Vietnam; it would be disastrous for our class.
Therefore, I've come up with a simple plan. It's based on history. Back in the 1930's the Left was dead set against war while the Capitalist class desperately longed for it. We wanted to make money off all the closed munitions factories put out of work by peace-loving Socialists. So, in order to rally the Left behind a good big war, capitalists Churchill and Roosevelt hatched a scheme so devious and reactionary that even today it is classified For Capitalist Class Eyes Only.
Not even very many of us know about it. So don't let any of the help see this article. What did Churchill and Roosevelt do, you ask? They knew the West didn't have the political will for an Imperialist war without the Left backing it. So they got together and said: "Let's do Imperialism right! We have to rally peace-loving Socialists behind a war."
The plan was very simple. They had Hitler attack the most peace-loving Socialist country there was: the Soviet Union. Nothing else was needed. The entire Left throughout the world went into raging war frenzy. It was a stroke of brilliance! Literally overnight every peace-loving Socialist turned into a rabid, frothing-at-the-mouth, gun-totin', bomb-dropping, shoot-to-kill, take-no-prisoners, total-war, wave-the-flag-and-pass-the-ammunition World War II buckaroo warmonger. It was a great time to be alive.
My plan uses the same principle. In order to rally the peace-loving working class behind our so called War on Terror and continue to invade and occupy more innocent countries and make more moola, we need to have peace-loving Communist countries get attacked by terrorists. I propose to have a super-secret cadre of military, dressed up as Islamoragheads, launch attacks on prominent communist countries such as Cuba, China and France.
If they were to blow up the Eiffel tower and the Great Hall of Revolution with 9-11-type tactics, the Left would join the war effort in a big way. The great Socialist leaders of our day would force them too! With their help we shall continue Imperialism apace, strengthen our class at the expense of the oppressed, ensure our political dominance over Democracy for decades to come, and put a damn pretty penny in each and every one of our bank accounts. It's a win-win situation!
Let's do Imperialism right!
Wave your flags high! Only in America!
Yes - it is true I am filthy stinking rich - with billions of dollars - all of which belong to me me me... however, as you know I put these dollars to socialists uses - such as destroying captialism and giving unemployable life-long college students and other hippies soap and employment. Portesting the likes of the evil exploitators of the mASSes such as $.$. Halliburton is full time work and requires legions of secret shadow organizations - front by the likes such as the Peoples' "B" (I am sorry - the Peoples' she-"C" - as in Clinton).
Also - once I -I mean we the people have destroyed the vile captialists - you will work for the greater good of me - I mean the people.
Our first peoples project will be to build factories for producing bras and soap.
No human will have to go braless and soapless in our utopia!!!
Unite for the greater good (me in charge of everything) and work for bras and soap!!!
Having said that, Mr. $$ Halliburton - when can I expect my first electronic transfer to my bank account? I'm beginning to think that perhaps you are not diverse, tolerant, and possibly racist. Though my skin color may be "white" (and this is an offensive stereotype, it mocks my people and suggests I am not diverse) I am a descendant of Africa ( my tribe existing there a little bit before triangle shaped edifices first appeared in the sand there) and therefore realize that you or some other people owe me some money. You promised me in your original post that we would receive a "pretty penny in each and every one of our bank accounts." When can I expect your first deposit?
Cheney W. Hallibushton
You ever see a green sack? I bet you havent!
The color "green" should only be produced by and for our wonderous plant friends that we cohabit the earth with. They are all so magical! It is wrong to steal the green chlorophyll to make green dye for "money", robbing helpless plants of their sole possession. Money should be colored black as it is evil and a crime against nature. We are all one, everyone knows that - we are all stars made of stardust! Why should we have any product which serves to divide us? What good is division? Are the plants divided? Are the other animals? And whether you understand this or not, we are all animals, and we should all blend together as one as all other plants and animals do on this wonderous ball in space. The very thought of "money" makes me cry, in fact, I'm wetting the keyboard of this fascist slave tool "computer" in front of me as I write this and fear an electrical shock of some sort not contemplated by the evil manufacturers of this tool of hate. And I know the mother goddess weeps as well as her children are sadly misguided!
There's been Million Man Marches and Million Mom Marches, have you ever considered leading a Million Dollar March?
PS - Sorry I split the vote and helped Clinton win twice. I didn't want to.
Your edit of my original comments gives us an informative glimpse into your mind. I originally wrote: "He leads one [a million dollar march] every time he puts his wallet in his back pocket." In your "correction," you changed the phrase to read, "every time he takes his wallet out of his back pocket."
Clearly, logic dictates that the act of leading requires a certain positioning of things. To wit: the thing that does the leading (both literally and figuratively) must be located in front of what follows it; or, conversely, the thing that follows must be located behind what leads it. You, however, place the cart before the horse (or, your self-interest before the Greater Good), and, in doing so, reveal an undeniable truth--insofar as truth is subjective and unattainable--about capitalist class enemies like you: You, sir, are undoubtedly led by your metaphorical wallet, your monomaniacal pursuit of money. I'm sure you would sell Margaret if the asking price were to your liking.
Thank you for continuing to live up to your stereotype!
--The People's Egghead
Eat your bourgeois heart out. You can never be Red enough for me. Oink! Oink!
why do your knees look bruised
but i would recommend to her spinnin records, it wont get
her in very much trouble
The simple truth is that if Al Gore had been elected President back in 2000 and if he'd done exactly the same things as Bush has done such as invading Iraq - then, then! and only then! - just about everyone on the Left would've been behind the war 100 percent. In fact, if Al Gore had done everything exactly as Bush has done he probably would've been awarded a Peace Prize. But Gore's our guy. We're never going to support anything your guy does. Republicans such as Halliburton and Bush are stupid and evil and only divide our country with divisive politics. So $.$. Halliburton, we're never going to back your guy no matter what happens. Kapeash?
And you know what that means $.$.? Hint: Roosevelt was a Lefty.
A Fellow Traveller.