Tikritos: Cruel Ranch and Other Progressive Flavors

Our affiliate, superstore, was the first to learn the news from : Saddam Hussein still believes he is president of Iraq, is obsessed with cleanliness, makes , and loves , an ex-guard has revealed.

Anticipating a new fad among its progressive consumers, rushed the manufacturing of Tikritos, a new product modeled on capitalist Doritos. In the spirit of socialist competition, the fastest-growing producer of progressive products didn't spare any of its in bringing the new favorite socialist flavor to the masses.




It's cool, its progressive, it's rebellious!
Every crunch is a loud political statement!
Great for political protests and sleepovers!
 

Tikritos, Mmmmm....very yummy with large or small Kurd gassed cottage cheese.
(First! gotcha Betty)
 

Dear Saddam / Chemart

I tried your Tikritos. While I enjoyed the non-offensive taste and lack of descript texture that is fitting of a "peoples' food," I do have a complaint. One of my Tikritos had newsprint on it (I applaud you for your recycling comrades), which adds intrigue for me. I thought it a special prize and set about determining the source. After some effort, looking at back copies of the Workers' Daily, English Pravda, The New York and Los Angeles Times, the Washington Post and the San Francisco Chronicle, I realized that this print did not come from a PEOPLES' NEWSSOURCE! Further investigation revealed the print came from the WALL STREET JOURNAL! Well, my insides dropped, I vomited, I drank cleanser and vomited again, but the horrid sting of capitalist avarice would not leave my psyche! What are you trying to do to us?

Regardless, I must assume this a mistake, for you would never lead us astray. A further question I have is regarding the immediate urge to submit to other people's will after eating Tikritos. My daughter (who is twelve) asked for the car keys, and I gave them to her while under the influence of Tikritos. Is there a "peoples' collective" chemical in them? I am not complaining, mind you, just asking!
 

Excuse my typographical error! I meant Los Angeles Times, not Washington Times, which is NOT an official newssource!

----------------------
Corrected as noted.
People's Editorial Board
 

 

Eating Tikritos while I rotate the omni-red sides of my People's Cube--could life get any better (drool, notwithstanding)? Only when accompanied by the People's Red Table Wine.
 

In fact, our picture of Tikritos got published in Advertising Age magazine, June 27th issue, but I only obtained it today (after having paid $3.99 to the capitalist sellout Pakistani guy at the news stand who refused to give it to me for free). I also understand that we will not be sharing in the profits with Advertising Age, but if we were I would donate it to the Universal Health Front run by Doctor Fuku.


 

A glorious victory Comrade!

Sadly, my bourgeois supermarket (Albertsons) refuses to stock "Tikritos."

Damn Capitalist Pigs! May their corporate offices burn hotter than Comrade Stalin's temper!

Pssstttt...Comrade. I have reason to believe that Al Gore is hoarding all of the Tikritos. Please forward this info to secret police so they could investigate for black marketeering. Black marketeers must go to gulag.

Your Loyal Party Stooge,

Comrade Rick
People's Republic of California
 

please send me pictur che ernesto gevara to E-mail addres ebrahimco-1@yahoo.com
 

 

Red Square - you have topped yourself my friend. I might add right after "Che is dead," "like all of his victims" But yours has great poignancy and the picture is to die for. If you make that shirt I will definitely buy it.
 

Submit it to che-mart.com also!
 

Viva La Muerte!
 

Thanks for the advice! I placed the new shirt in the online People's Store!

Click on the image!


 

I have contacted the commissariat and placed my order for new workshirt. I was sad to note the decadent "express mail" shipping option though. This is a maddeningly unnecessary bourgeois waste of resources and only really serves unreasonable capitalist fascist pig needs. I can't help but feel Halliburton is in on this somehow. I wake up at night in a sweat in my communal flat and the first word on my mind always is: "Halliburton." Only they could be behind such an idea as higher levels of service based on need as expressed through willingness to pay more. This is a sad hour for the Revolution. The Red Banner should be lowered to half mast. But then again, that too would add more wasted Worker's hours to an already disturbing display of squander and decay. Comrade Hillary, where are you to guide us through this night?
 

Thank you, comrade! Let me know if the quality is good. I have heard that Cafepress.com is an exemplary socialist establishment of impeccable progressive values. We all support that, but we also realize that most comrades prefer to get their goods manufactured by less progressive businesses. They think that more capitalism equals more quality. But we, as consciencious citizens, would gladly trade quality for equality, wouldn't we? We must sacrifice quality if we want to promote equality. As of today, however, without a total state monopoly in manufacturing, we are forced to live by the false bourgeois standards of "quality" if we want to sell anything.

Looking forward to revolution,
Red Eye