The Food Stamp President

Every day President Obama is freeing toiling masses from the bonds of wage slavery. An ever growing number of former oil rig, construction, and retail workers, who once toiled under the yoke of capitalist oppression, have now heroically joined with liberated multitudes whose daily wants and needs are provided by the government.

In just three years Obama has emancipated 12 million former wage earners, adding them to the glorious Food Stamp program - that is a victorious 38% increase for a total of 44 million. No longer exploited for their labor, these men and women are free to live a sparse life without the stress of unnecessary choices, or the burden of supporting the decadent consumer society. Those who once were mere cogs in the monstrous capitalist planet-raping machine, now can enjoy a guilt-free life of government dependency.

As impressive as Obama's success has been, there still remain those who are bitterly clinging to self-reliance - a debilitation condition caused by false consciousness, the dark legacy of capitalist propaganda. To those still shackled to a job: do not give up hope! Our progress is unstoppable! Obama has plans for many more regulations and taxes - a tried and true way to beat back the vicious creation of jobs and prosperity in the reactionary private sector.

Soon you too will enjoy a scant existence with your very own Obamacard. Experience the glory of heroic and selfless sacrifice for the Greater Good™ as your children grow up loving the indiscriminate largess of the government's giving hand!
~


These are glorious times, comrades! The Progressive World of Next Tuesday™ is close at hand. We all must work tirelessly to ensure that Obama is not defeated by the evil Koch Brothers' Republican puppets. The future is in your hands!



Obamacard Food Stamp Electronic Wealth Transfer is preferred by 5 out of 5 government officials.
 

Comrade Maxim, You must truly be a Party Official of postition to be entrusted to release such meaningful artwork to the fortunate workers of the Cube.

I have a question--Does working in a Federal job count the same as being dependent on the Government? Dear Leader (PBUH) in his glorious wisdom-- has added millions to the Federal Payroll, and by definition, they depend on the Government for support, and the working output is essentially equal...

What is the Current Truth?
 

Dear Comrade Maksim: I am having idea. Why not issue ObamaCard™ in 24K gold, since USSA no longer use gold for backing currency anyway? Plus, additional benefit: government makes it illegal to buy or sell gold, only use of gold from here on in is with ObamaCard™. Use gold for other purposes, gulag is for you!



We kill two capitalists with one card!!
 

But OMG it expires in 2013! We can't let it expire. This is a matter of life or death for millions of Americans. Without Obama millions of Americans would die. How on earth are we ever going to get the message out? No one listens to the Left. We've got to get the message out.
 

All right! With Maksim's images, I can make my own cards and sell them behind liquor stores and strip clubs. People will find this a lot more convenient than having to wait in line all day at some government office--especially in Minnesota where the government is under shutdown.

Rest assured I will make no profit from this. Instead, I will put it in writing here and now that all proceeds from the sales of these cards will be donated to my awareness foundation, Caring and Raising Awareness by Pinkie (CRAP).

CRAP has been made possible by Obama's Stimulus, other government grants, and taxpayers like you.
 

 

 

It's..... BEAUTIFUL!

(Please carry on with the conversation without me, I'm all verklempt...)
 

 

 

 

OK, I'll quit now.
 

 

 

My--
ObamaCard--
Was LOST--

I plead--
Not Guilty--

Your Honor.

 

 

Rush Limbaugh's so-called talent might be on loan from some non-existent god (you'd think with all his money and if he really thinks free market capitalism is so great he'd just buy his own); but all Cube talent is redistributed through a benevolent government agency.

Mr. Loudon could get his wish for the same free talent, too, if he wasn't so misinformed as to think government should be confined solely to protecting its citizens from criminals and external enemies, most of whom are millionaires, billionaires, and corporate jet owners.

Government should protect us from EVERYTHING!
 

 

ObamaKard!
Krickey!
 

Here's hoping the communist in chief will pull off the debt deceit!
You know, it's true that taxpayers are the Money Tree!

http://www.newsmax.com/Headline/Armey-O ... ode=C9A2-1
 

Clearly, such economic and social destruction demonstrates the progressiveness of American Socialism!

Hail Obama!

--
ZB
 

Maksim, I fail to see why you should say that the proles should lead sparse lives. They should be honored to sacrifice for The Greater Good™, which of course means what the Made Progs want. There is a long history of egestuosity being praised by everyone from Horace to, well, our dear Oleader. Horace chose it; it's being chosen for us but hey! It's the Obominable one.

Mr. Loudon is a fine man, recognizing red-of-tooth-and-claw socialism when he sees it. I only worry that he is not tough enough to steal the pencils of a blind man, rob Granny's social security, ration Grandpa's health care, and all the while blame the RethugliKKKans for it.

Perhaps, Pinkie, you could offer him a toughening-up course? I know from first-hand experience that you wield a mean shovel at the slightest hint of offense against True Progressivism. So take him under your wing.

He needs it. And our Many Titted Empress demands it.
 

FINALLY, we've done something right!

I mean uh, our Glorious program to help ever more of The Less Fortunate™ has started to bear fruit. Hopefully, The Party can double the number of recipients by next year. We will also carefully monitor to make sure all Food Stamp recipients are also registered voters, that they all vote and that their votes are counted correctly, if you what I mean.
 

Komrade, this Visual Agitation is as wondrous as the Truth & Guiding Hand of the O which it represents, in a fashion immediately apparent to all workers' who maybe have learned to read with their backs, and with a song in their hearts; versus reading from laboring under library, newsroom, classroom, or office-jobs for those members with greater than equal positions of The Party. It is this ceaseless work of The Party which you exemplify with this most agitating message & imagery.

"Bourgeois class domination is undoubtedly an historical necessity, but, so too, the rising of the working class against it. Capital is an historical necessity, but, so too, its grave digger, the socialist proletariat."
-Rosa Luxemburg, Martyr for a Shovel-Based Social Order
 

Oh Mah Gawd. You are so right. And.. The nice thing about the Obamacard is its so easy to get. Unlike all the other cards I have, which required all sorts of filling out forms with various names and numbers and junk, I got my Obamacard from a kid down the street for two bottles of Night Train and a package of Sudafed. Bites when I have to waste a butt load of alimony for stuff like food and crap. Like…. Rosita and Jose aren't exactly cheap to feed ya know. Anyway… I am so into this card. And it's got a really cute picture of Baracky. Right?
 

I look forward to the day where our ObamaCards not only feed us, but replace drivers license, SSN cards, birth certificates, and anything else the Anointed Government could wish of us, or we from it! Praise the Obamessiah feeding thousands with a stroke of His Almighty Pen!
 

With the Dear Leader's visage on a new Russian stamp perhaps we can soon see a return to a more Soviet style government in Mother Russia.
You know, like the one we have here.



If this has already been noted in the glorious blogs by the Party then please forgive a humble servant of the system, my Chrashotsky 2000 computer sometimes is infected with capitalist pig viruses and I don't get all the latest news.
 

Why stop at an Obamacard? You can take your dog to the vet and have a microchip injected. We ought to have a microchip injected which gives our SSN, plus vital statistics, which can be used to determine whether or not we get medical treatment under the death-panel boards.

Of course we here, we made progs, will be able to jump line and get treatment. And I refuse to think that if there is no money in medicine that there will be no advances. Because I will that I shall have the medicine that I need, any time and any place.

I, Father Prog, will it, and my will is steelier than Nanski's our our Many Titted Empress's.

As far as Barack Hussein Odimbo, Ummm Ummm Ummm, goes, he's skinny because he can never keep food in his body because he has to make room for the hand of George Soros or Bill Ayers, or sometimes he gets it from both.
 

There are many uses for the obamacard. Not only can you get food free...you can use it to help you in many ways. Stopped by a cop for a traffic ticket...just show him the obamacard. He instantly knows you are one of the special people that will get a free lawyer, an indefinite stay on any trial, and not have to pay anyway. He will just warn you and let you go. Are you black and have the obamacard. Well..that gives you first debs on a job but, (of course, who wants one). It also gives you the right to turn that job down because of your hurt back (wink wink). It will buy you a night of pleasure with many girls..like Lakeeshamesha or teenagua...they all will work for the card. Need a new apartment and don't want to pay for it.....?? Well....use the obamacard and get that home or apartment of your dreams. Can you say...'section 8'?? Have you been sick lately? The obamacard will get you into any first class hospital and others will have to pay your bill.. You will be healed in leisure while paying customers suffer at home. The obamacard is great. The obamacard will get you a free bus ride to any protest sponsored by the Democrats. It will get you a free school lunch. It will pass you at school. All you have to do is show up and bully people. You will pass anyway with the obamacard. Did I forget to mention the free cell phone. Don't get left out of the next flash mob. The obamacard is better than a genie in a lamp. The card can be obtained free if you are a obama supporter. Don't worry...we will know.
 

Should we call it the Obamacard or the Ericholdercard? After all, he's even more entitled than Our Many Splendored Emperor. Refusing to go after the New Black Panthers who are intimidating white voters. Well, he should. Those white voters might have had great, great-grandparents who owned slaves or who didn't spit on people who did.

This is the great truth of Proggery: the sins of the fathers will be inherited by our enemy. Our sins count for nothing.
 

 

I am from Canada (please pardon me) and it's not really any better up here with the medical system Yes we do have far lower rates, since the medical system is provincial, however the wait times are so long, that by the time you have your operation, you have a good chance of being dead. Cheers, Pete.
 

petemanup, I do feel your pain. Here even in the wilds of West Texas I can get a CAT-scan in a town of 9,000 instantly and have it read instantly. Oh, within a day I'd say. But there are no problems with the provisioning.
 

 

Pinkie, again rem acu tetigisti. In Canada a bunch of horrible, greedy KapitOHlists set up a private chain of CAT-scan and MRI machines, to be paid for by private funds for people who wanted to jump line.

Canada outlawed them, because it wasn't fair that people who had money could jump the line.

This was right before a spate of stories about Canadian government officials--premiers &c.--who, on receiving a bad medical diagnosis, went directly to the USSA.

Well, if they were Made Progs, that's okay.

Wait. Wait. If medicine cannot be profitable, then where will the advances come from?

DO YOU THINK THAT IF THE USSR HADN'T BEEN COMMUNIST THEN STALIN MIGHT STILL BE ALIVE?
 

I can't get food stamps because I have a bloody CAR! A paid-for car, mind you! Not that I want them, of course, but, they tell me that my car is worth too much! i.e., if I actually use it to do business at my "new job" (heh, heh) I can get food stamps. BUT! I can't just use my car to actually get to that very job! All hail Obama! Awesome dude!
 

[ off ]At one time I was requested to make deeds to get geriatric's houses out of their names so that the government would pay for their health care and the nursing home. I tended not to like that duty, thinking that if people needed help and had assets, they might use the assets.
 

I've caught a lot of flak for my simple, one line suggestion for a health care bill:

"You made the bill, you pay the bill"

Hospitals do set up payment plans after all.I'd be one of the worst off by the way, no insurance and mostly broke, but I'd pay my bill if need be.
 

[ off ]Once I thought I had insurance but didn't and woke after a five-week coma in an Odessa, TX, hospital $300K in debt. Negative net worth. I paid $600/month, and was resigned to pay it until I was 90. I was only 40 then. My friend Ron had been a manager with Anthem Life and reviewed such bills and told me that I was getting charged for incomplete government reimbursement and the uninsured who have no intention of paying. You cannot be sued, I'm told, if you pay anything at all.

Owing to confusion over the bill, I talked to accounts payable. The woman told me she'd let it for for 90% of the value; I sighed. She said, "I'll call you tomorrow." Tomorrow she said that they'd cut it to $60K, or 1/5, mind. Ron said that was about the cost.

They did that because I'd paid religiously every month for two years. Then after a year's more payment, they without my asking cut it to $200/month.

Things picked for me a lot and this was paid off, but the story of this is pay your bill religiously and they just might take pity on you and give it to you for cost, if they believe that you alone are taking responsibility.
 

 

 

Komrade Maksim, could I get frequent rider miles on glorious people's revolutionary transportation?



 

But Dear Leader, Gravity and Reality do not work in your world. Glorious Truth!
 

Comrades...
We must count ourselves lucky that we live under the thumb of such a magnanimous leader as dear leader obama. He has looked down and saw our devastated lives and has granted us the use of a card that has lifted us from devastation to bare existence. Who else would bestow upon the working class the splendor of such a life. Why.....just the other day I went to commissary and bought a half a gram of spam to go with my free weekly beet ration. I was so happy I was in tears. Yes...the obama card is always with me (they said it had to be.)
 

The Obama Card. Don't leave home without it. It's your ID and anyone without an Obama card will be given a free vacation in an Obama Re-education Center. Some mauvais langue called it a gulag, but he's now a guest himself and will no longer make such disobliging observations.

Bear in mind, that in "The Emperor's New Clothes," the little boy pointed out that the emperor was in fact nude. And the parade went on just as before.

We do not know what happened to the little boy. These days he's have been Joe the Plummered.