Skools: Insider's View of the Revolution

Real pictures taken by a real student at Marilla Carillo High School in Santa Rosa, Ca. (at the corner of Calistoga Rd., and Montecito Blvd.)

Written and photographed by Comrade Betty, a bona fide student of that school

I am your average revolutionary public skool student who dreams of living in equality with everyone else in Amerika - never worrying about finding a job, or advancing my career, or being fired - just like the French. I owe much of my aspirations to my teachers who have enlightened me and shown me the way to the glorious servitude of communism.

The best part of it is that it requires absolutely no thinking. Who needs thinking if the entire universe has already been revealed to me, conveniently sliced and packaged, in my teachers' easy, educational bumper stickers? Memorize them all - and you're ready for adulthood. I even took some pictures to share with you - and also to keep them with me after I leave skool, because if I forget what they said I'll be left without any moral guidance, and that's scary.

We begin our trip with my first English class this year. Apparently this agent of the people was not deemed communist enough: I never got my party-approved grade of a 'C.' Instead, I was forced against my will to participate in a test, which is a barbaric form of competition the skool district finds amusing - and because of my un-preparedness to think for myself I was given an 'F'. I am currently in the 'slower' English class that has appropriately been renamed into the 'survey' class.



Here is a tool used by our agents to convert the weak-minded into useful idiots. The 'enlightened' among us realize that the true translation of this slogan is 'Seeking the Destruction of America by turning it into a Nation of Hippie Wimps in Order to Easily Militarily Overthrow it, is Patriotic.' That is a little too long to make into a party-approved chant or slogan to fit on a bumper sticker - so the sloppy translation will have to do.



This sticker teaches us not to abuse the earth by using its resources to make shelter, or greedily to mooch off the food that nature provides, or, like a vile leech, to suck copious quantities of water from the underwater springs to sustain your life. If those actions are permitted to continue, human life will mutate into one of those giant disgusting leech thingies in that King Kong remake. In fact, their battle with the men trapped in the crevice could be interpreted as the proletariat trapped in a capitalist nightmare, where society eats them alive and sucks the hope and lifeblood out of them - until the savior of the people (Queen Hillary, of course) swings down on a vine held in one hand, and a Kalashnikov in the other, to vanquish the bourgeoisie and to save the weakened and exhausted people from an untimely doom.



How odd: this bumper sticker proclaims that the word 'queer' means to be daring - but whenever I call someone that I get a detention...



This example tells us to ignore the fact that both Greece and Rome fell in result of a competition among societies that could not coexist with each other without the destruction of a nation (and also because of rampant homosexuality that we must pretend never existed). A perfect example of how we will lead Amerika into a state of total conflict in which we will arise and show to the masses that we are the guiding light and their only hope to survive.



Yes, celebrate your diversity and individuality by saying you want to be treated equally - then go around snubbing your nose at the unenlightened and curse the infidels. Tattoo a pentagram on your forehead and sue for discrimination because you can't get hired, and complain that people act funny when they're around you.



Little do most people know that homophobia is the leading cause of deaths, homicides, suicides, run-away-icides, baldness, and prostate cancer in the U.S. and... um... only the U.S. because Americans are biased, sexist, racist, and greedy people who refuse to be subjugated. Over 100 Bajillion deaths are caused each year because of homophobia. This must be stopped! *
_________
*Above statements cannot be confirmed nor denied because anyone who confirms them is a clinical moron, and anyone who denies them must be a racist, sexist, bigot, and a homophobe - and, therefore, cannot be trusted and must be sent to the gulag for re-education.

* * *

The next several pictures come from my new 'survey' English class in which I am properly given the 'C' I deserve for being in a class that teaches the language and literature of the capitalist oppressors who wrote some of the world's most boring books ever.



Here we have a prime example how our agents in skools and in the media have twisted one man's tragedy and attempt to raise awareness of the sacrifices soldiers are making for people they don't even know, into an anti-war propaganda device. I applaud your deception and altercation of the truth to the benefit of the Party!



Here is a photo of a capitalist extortion unit (that's dollar to the uninformed) that has been correctly altered to show the denial of the liberal Amerikan to face reality - and thus to set a proper example for the rest of us. However, I do not recognize the other face in the picture nose to nose with the Great Satan of America (oh wait, that's Bush, never mind). The only thing I see wrong with this excellent piece of propaganda is the evil capitalist website billionairesforbush.com - the sworn enemy of the mothersite () on the left side of the portrait (he he... left side).



Yes, the day this capitalist country can no longer defend itself will be a great day! It will be the day of the Revolution. Immediately afterwards, a perfect utopia will ensue.



Ah yes, the artistic collage of peace signs is an inspiration to any student. It tells us that putting a flower down the barrel of a gun will prevent the resulting hole-in-head creation. If everyone just said 'peace', then the world would be a happy place with no differences - because the one side that didn't say 'peace' would kick the asses of all the other sides and force them to think their way. A good plan - there is a lesson to be learned! Notice the Doonsbury cartoon and picture off to the side that says 'There is no way to Peace. Peace is the way'. Don't be confused by the mixed messages, one saying to celebrate diversity and another saying to conform to hippiedom.



These I'm pretty sure are from a prominent San Francisco newspaper (Das Khommikal) known for its Party-approved truths found in every edition, along with constant Bush-bashing, anti-Iraq-war sentiments and the strange smell of marijuana smoke on each page...



I have no idea what this means, or why the people in the cartoon don't toss that annoying guy overboard. I think he might be a journalist, or a hard-core member of the ACLU (true hero of the revolution).



Here is another collage that would make hippies across California shriek with joy - a collection of updates of the deaths in Iraq. This teacher displays it the same way the artist made the Vietnam War Memorial... a message that is supposed to honor soldiers who lost their lives in combat, is warped into an anti-war propaganda device. Once again I am humbled by our indoctrinators' powers of distortion.



Here's a full shot of that mass of newspaper clippings - the teacher seems to have an obsession with it. She's also started a project to collect a pair of shoes for each soldier who has died: the obsession is gradually turning into fetish. AAAHHHH!!! Bad vision, BAD VISION!! Must... change... subject...

* * *

Even though chemistry is an exact science, this teacher believes that Global Warming and the Hole in the Ozone layer are real facts - and not just propaganda devices used to scare the stupid. He has been telling the lie for so long that he has actually believed it. Lenin was right!



Aahhh... true ingenuity! The teacher places the propaganda on the desk in front of the class - so when the students get bored with his incompetent droning, their attention will inevitably switch to the sublimimininal... sublimim... subtle messages that slowly eat away at their common sense to the point where they have no strength left to resist. The only ones who seem able to, are the ones that fall asleep during class.



This is a quote by one of the so-called Founding Fathers who started this disgusting capitalist nation. A perfect example of how the revolution uses the capitalist heroes against the capitalists when it suits the cause - but degrades them and calls them terrorists (never freedom fighters) the rest of the time.



This sticker teaches us that yellow-handed, green-handed, blue-handed, and red-handed people can all live in harmony if we just get taught how to be tolerant of others instead of learning pointless subjects like chemistry or math - and, of course, get rid of white-handed people.



Whether this person really is a member of the Sierra Club I am not sure; he could get it from a fellow Revolutionary (teacher) or a Revolutionary in Training (student), or a fellow traveler, but either way this is a fine example of our agents proudly displaying support for an organization that our comrades have successfully infiltrated over the years. Currently the Sierra Club is trying to stop all highway expansion in California, claming that it will create more development and more smog. In reality, this is another secret plot for the Revolution, in which the development will continue - but the highways will constantly stay the same size, gradualy driving the capitalists into a state of insanity as they sit in the middle of rush hour traffic going nowhere. The extra smog produced from the stop-and-go traffic will also give us something to complain about, blame the bourgeoisie for, and scare their kids with Global Warming.



This piece of propaganda is instrumental in appealing to the weak-minded because it has a picture of a cute little polar bear on it. Unknown to many is the fact that just off camera from this picture are several other polar bears feasting on one of the photographers. Items like this are successfully fooling the capitalists into thinking that the Alaskan oil wells are killing helpless animals that only have an area of over half the size of the Midwest to live in. They don't need to know about the oil deposit larger than Texas that could supply the country with oil for several hundred years more.



Oh my God! (I mean Hillary, not that one, you capitalist pig!) These things are wepwoducing wike wabbits! Our agitprop manufacturing facilities must be working overtime; the propagandists deserve a raise... I mean, a pat on the back and a hero's medal - just like everyone else gets once a year.



Yes, we all know that geniuses who spend their lives coming up with unprovable theories always give the best political advice which should be taken to heart.



Eating animals is barbaric and should have never been considered when man all of a sudden changed from a pool of bacterial glop into a being with a will of his own. People should not eat anything that comes from living creatures. I set an example by only eating dirt and pebbles found on the ground - because even plants are alive.

The bumper sticker below the 'Be kind to Animals...' is a mis-quote of Comrade Lenin. The Party only kills people to show people that killing people is necessary to obtain the goals of the Party.



Obviously, when something is put onto a bumper sticker it instantly becomes truth. Or at least it does in the minds of the unwashed masses who must parade around with these and other fine pieces of propaganda plastered all over the rear end of their party-approved 1965 Volkswagen Hippie Class Buses. There is also a bumper sticker showing that its owner is politically correct by visiting the hippie-inspired artwork of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial.



More anti-SUV propaganda to convince the ignorant into believing that a vehicle with multiple uses, spacious interiors, and extra large cup holders are bad. Of course this must be spoken as truth because after the Revolution, only distinguished members of the Politburo will be permitted to ride in comfort because of their more-equalness. All others must drive around in electric cars pulled by donkeys when not in range of electrical outlets.



If you have a friend, Party member, or associate who allows you to eat meat, you must denounce them to the nearest secret police/ ACLU outpost immediately and sign up for re-education. After all, we can't have people eating a substance that provides the brain with nutrients that increase reason and logic functions in humans. We need to follow the example Hitler set by becoming a vegetarian, landscape painter, and animal rights activist. If it worked so well with him, why not make everyone do that?



Here is more advice that we must all live by. This saying comes from someone who is a member of an Indian, I mean, 'Native American' tribe who is far superior to modern man. The sayings of a people who had such a special connection with nature to the point that they burned down entire forests and killed thousands of animals for maybe a week's worth of food, along with running entire herds of buffalo off cliffs, and spent most of their time murdering and raping each other while managing to keep nearly all white men in the dark about it, are what we need to look up to.



America needs to change away from oil because we won't let the evil oil companies drill for it in our own country, and we claim that wars against oppressive governments that harbor 'freedom fighters' are just over oil.



We must all realize that nothing good - be it peace, security, or freedom - can ever be achieved through war. The only things war ever did was end slavery, bring freedom to an entire nation, free people from oppressive governments, end Nazism, and stop communism on a large scale. Those are all things we are trying to work for to make the revolution happen. It will never take place when people are willing to stand up and defend themselves.




must be a very intelligent place for true intellectuals to go and protest capitalism as they hold séances to speak with the Great Lenin whilst sipping lattes.



This will change after the Revolution. We will recycle everything imaginable and turn it into energy. The bodies of the deceased 5%, as well as household garbage and more will be liquefied and mixed with a tasteless soy paste to feed the world's other 95%. We will even use the radioactive uranium to feed our mine workers - so that we can cut down on electrical lighting in People's mines since our miners will begin to produce their own green light.

* * *

And so ends the tour of educational un-brainwashing that is funded by your tax dollars. I leave you all with this image of the hillside across the street from our skool in which a magnificent image has been scarred into the landscape.



If you look closely you can see the remains of a swastika on the upper right side that the Skool Board had to call out the SWAT team, HAZMAT team, air force, and several protest groups to remove. The hippie symbol below the year was carved as a reaction to that. For those of you confused over the meaning of the last blob in the series of numbers - it was caused by the non-progressive competition between class years: each year the seniors reconstruct the number with their graduating class year on it, while jealous underclassmen try to change it to their year of graduation. You can also just barely see the remnants of a penis that was dug right before the number two.
 

Thank you, Comrade Betty, for the illuminating article about your high school. It was, in fact, very difficult to find any lapses in your school's moral standards – they even promote veganism! (What is served in the school cafeteria? I should hope that curdled Soy Moo with cauliflower chunks is on the menu.)

Regrettably though, I do not see any inducements to use public transportation. Surely, the teachers and administrators in such an academy never drive – so why do they hide it?

And I am just as confident that they conserve oil by sharing apartments with other families – but why do they not encourage others to do so?

And no doubt they make extra contributions to the IRS every year to support worthy programs (like public schools) – and yet they do not mention this either!

In fact, they undoubtedly make enormous sacrifices in their personal lives in order to share with those who are less fortunate – but I did not see any mention of them purchasing used underwear, and giving up the luxuries of plumbing and electricity. (Of course, your school has no running water, correct? Water is too valuable a resource to squander.)

My guess is that they are needlessly modest. But their ability to educate is clearly unsurpassable.

 

 

My second English teacher had requested a transcript of this article before it was posted, but we all know that that would be unfair to the masses, letting one person preview something before the rest of their fellow comrades.

After all, it is a public classroom, which is the equivalent of putting the "truths" on a billboard on the side of the highway for all to see.
 

This is one of the best exposés on why we need public schools that I've ever seen. Your teachers are preparing you for what we are envied for around the world, the American Dream - the right to protest. The right to protest is what America was founded on and is what's made America the economic powerhouse of the world. I remember as a child I used to love reading those Horatio Alger books about the poor minority child, orphaned because of capitalist oppression in the workplace, not a friend to turn to, and then rising to the pinnacle of Party status through shear anger and protest. Kommissar Betty you're in good hands.

PS - Oops! My mistake, I didn't realize you're now Premier Betty. My goodness man but you've done it! You've achieved the highest pinnacles of Party status. You are the American Horatio Alger story. Your teachers must be proud.
 

 

 

Your high school is more progressive then my college campus.... this troubles me.
 

Premier Betty!

You have already demonstrated your ability to lead the masses to the undeniable truth of the greatness of World Socialism! Your promotion is long overdue! Your new wing-tipped leather shoes are in the mail. Feel free to pound them on the podium whenever you give a speech, especially on the merits of a public skool education!
 

SAVE POLAR BEARS !

Did Betty sneek a GW sticker somewhere?

The joyous thing is, youth rebels (they cannot help it), and will grow to oppose this loony emblem of the 'establishment'...
 

 

 

Class....class.....class......SHUT UP!
The Berlin Wall fell in 1989.
The Soviet Union NEVER FELL!
We are in camouflage.
Shhhhhhh...................
 

 

 

I don't think him being British has as much to do with people hating him as his shirt does. Death to Haters!
 

How to get expelled:


 

 

Premier, it is so wonderful for me to finally read this wonderful primer on proper education. It is no wonder to this Pup how you developed into the fine socialist that you are. It did sadden me somewhat though, the lack of originality of so many of those stickers. My Lenin, most of them were done back in the 60's. Can't the best minds a ruble, a pack of Zig Zags, and a stick of incense can buy, come up with something new? But I do suppose there is much to be said for sticking with the tried and true methods.

I am a bit in the dark about your present training. I do hope you are living off OPM right now, as there is no better time in one's life to live on OPM and not be forced to actually produce anything of value than when you are young. Be that as it may, not all are so fortunate, so if that is not so, I hope you are at least in an institution that will further refine your already impressive socialist credentials. Ah, the best time of the Pup's life.... living on OPM, honoring nature by worship of certain plants, mushrooms, and man made "vision" enhancers, going to listen to experts in advanced party doctrine, chasing the elusive comrade of opposite yet equal gender persuasion... etc. Ah, those were the daze....
 

My answer to the polar bears.....



 

LOL! People Eat Tasty Animals approve! I think this is an area we party members need to tread lightly on. Sure, it is easy to come up with all sorts of progressive reasons to not drill for the oil that is so plentiful and despite the pictures our useful idiots post, is hardly the sort of land one thinks of as pristine paradise. On the other hand, the very natives that live there very much want us to drill, so it seems a bit of a slap in the face to our minority brothers to deny them.
 

 

Well, for what it's worth, my advice is this, if you wish to go to college, do not stop until you find a way, whether it is by loans or what ever you have to do. If that is really your hearts desire. But then again, these days a college degree is not much different than having a high school degree used to be, for now a masters is about the minimum to get a decent job is any field. Be that as it may, follow your heart and your head, don't give up the dream, and it will work out.

I must say, I was amazed at the degree of brainwashing allowed in that school. Is it really any wonder there are so many "anti war" people or otherwise dead from the neck up people when they are exposed to such tripe on a daily basis? I dare say that despite all those stickers about celebrating diversity, there were no displays even remotely suggesting a faith in God, or suggesting that perhaps some of these other "movements" are in error? That was religion being foisted on you even if they don't call it that. I knew there was a lot of crap being taught in schools. but I was simply shocked by those pictures. At least when I was in college, that sort of stuff was basically kept to "Free Speech Alley" where everyone was free to express their views.
 

Right now I'm in Junior College, which is a lot cheaper than regular college, and it allows me to sort of just take a variety of classes just to figure out what I want to do. Unfortunately, you need to get a college degree if you want to do anything, no matter how simple.

I'm going to try to avoid getting loans at all costs. I don't want to end up with a ton of $$$ to owe back when I graduate. I've been thinking of getting a degree in video game design, or engineering. But I also want to get a business degree to fall back on just in case.

All the hippie activists in college and high school back in the 60's are just trying to re-live their greatest years by becoming teachers and getting as many students to join them as possible. There is a Christian Club at the school, but there are no religious posters or anything like that. Not even a cross. However, my homeroom teacher (another hippie) did put up a paper cut-out cross on one of her windows. She even admitted to the class one day that she could get into trouble if the administration found out.
 

The main thing is to know what you want to be and then do what you must to achieve that... trust a Pup who failed... LOL! But seriously, if you wish to be involved in video game design, I would not imagine that a 4 year college would be the route to go in the first place, though I am certainly not knowledgeable about that. But truth be told, a good chunk of a 4 year degree is devoted to courses that have nothing to do with what you wish to learn.

I too did tend to be like your hippie activists.. in the sense I had decided I wanted to stay in college forever. I studied psychology, not because I had this burning desire to help people. No, I was into the behaviorist school, and also liked my physiological psychology. Thought I might go for a PhD with the idea of staying in school to fill other's heads. But alas, one summer after finishing all my course classes for my Masters, I went home for the summer to make a little money and take a break, and ended up getting hired by Exxon Research and Development Labs... which you would know if you read my Pup's history link I provided.... But don't follow my example... run, flee, hide from it! Otherwise you could end up well.... like the Pup.
 

You do have quite an interesting history. Most video game developers have high expectations, and require degrees in multiple programs that cost over 1 thousand dollars apiece. I have checked some sites and they require extensive knowledge in 3D Studio Max, Maya, and other programs of equal or greater complexity. Right now I just do modeling with Auto CAD, but I'm learning Max now and hopefully will get it soon.
 

Ah, but it is not a 4 year college you need then right? And even as expensive as the classes you mention seem, they pale to the cost of a 4 year degree after which a masters would be most likely be needed to land even a mid level job. Bad thing about computers though... no matter how much you learn it would seem, some 12 year old can do it better! LOL! Fortunately they are not allowed to work. Shoot, one thing about it, you learn your Auto CAD right, and you can get a *gasp* *choke* job to help make ends meet, and go to school to learn more programs. That does have to be one heck of a competitive field I would imagine? That is the other thing bad about computers, you can learn to be an expert in a program, and by then, someone else has the next new thing so you have to learn it as well.
 

It's not the classes that are expensive, it's the programs that they use. Auto CAD 2008 costs $3,995.00. 3D Studio Max Costs $3,495.00 and Maya costs $6,995.00.

Most video game companies want college degrees in using those programs so they can make games like these:


(That's all actual gameplay, not a pre-rendered cut scene)

The problem with computer technology is that every year a newer and better version comes out and you have to go back to school to learn all the new stuff they have. I don't think I will be able to get hired for work with Auto CAD until I finally get into a class that teaches the new 3D rendering in the 2007 version, but last time the class got cancelled and now I'm going to have to keep signing up until it stops getting cancelled.
 

Good grief man! I thought that Microsoft Visual Studio .NET was expensive. Yea, the classes I should say are not what are bad, the software, whew!

Video game designer, engineering, business. I know, this is a headache, they hand you a list and say here, these are the degrees that are out there, now what do you want to do for the rest of your life? Its like, how the heck am I supposed to know until I do it?!

Great job on the school, even though I am over a year late with this. It nice to see that the schools are teaching kids the proper education. Of course, with this new bill that the Terminator signed (they really did send one! they did! Arnold the actor is a deadly robot from the future! Based on Arnold the actor!) the schools are becoming even more progressive. I bet you are glad to be out of there.
 

I just don't really see the allure of those games... lost interest after Leisure Suit Larry here... LOL, and I never got to the modern versions. That game you showed looked like they were riding some sort of rocket powered window cleaner scaffold.

What I meant was now and then, when I actually see those "porn ads," I would often see Must know Auto Cad, so I figured if you know how to auto cad, you could whore for them... LOL

Visual Studio, that is what I think my *cough* job... er... whoring needs, I am but an amateur... creating Access databases and some fairly cool Excel files. But a lot of the people where I work do not have Access, so I really would like to make programs so they can use my databases even when they do not have Access on their computer.
 

This is an emergency we must distribute the Plumpynut. Because all progressive thinking folks know:

Nobel Prize-winning group Doctors Without Borders can cure a child half-dead from capitalism in just three weeks time with Plumpynut. So Plump on because its For the Children™

Plus I just like saying Plumpynut......
 

 

 

 

Comrades Comrades.... You have heard of Google? OK, while Sherlock Pup can not say with 100% certainty this is what he was referring to... but...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plumpy'nut

and it is fun to say.
 

Thanks. I was too lazy to actually look it up. And since I'm too lazy to cook (having most of my meals consist of MRE's) I will look into getting a few of those to subdue the starving child inside me.
 

Of course I've heard of Google. I just assumed LoneRedStar had been eating a certain type of mushroom and was making up funny words and burping them out.

Funny words, you know, like Plumpynut . . . Sinkbean . . . Jabberwocky . . . Hillcare.
 

Mushrooms you say? One must be careful when eating mushrooms, especially when you pick them yourself. I would never take such a risk....
 

Says he who writes about a certain incident involving a bull on another forum....
 

What incident would that be Premier? A bull you say? Those are some dangerous beasts to mess around with. I avoid them as much as possible.
 

Especially after that one incident when you came into contact with one and learned not to go digging around in it's dung for 'shrooms. Right…?
 

Well, one does learn to use a bit more discretion...

Actually, I sort of resembled the British in that old classic song, sort of resembled? Oh, you would not believe how fast a bull can cover the distance or how one can ignore the fact they are being ate up with briars on their desperation to escape.

Yeah they ran through the briars and they ran through the brambles
And they ran through the bushes where a rabbit couldn't go.
They ran so fast that the hounds couldn't catch 'em
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.
 

Plumpy'nut, more commonly known as Plumpy, is a peanut-based food for use in famine relief which was formulated by André Briend, a French scientist (Nobel prize winner) in 1999.

It is a high protein and high energy peanut-based paste in a foil wrapper that can be distributed to children at home rather than in specialist feeding stations and can be eaten without any preparation. It tastes like a slightly sweeter kind of peanut butter. It is categorized by the WHO [ I never knew Roger Daltry likes peanut butter] as a Ready-to-Use Therapeutic Food (RUTF) For the Children™ .

The funny part was that it was recently featured in a feel good spot on one of the major news networks with the claim that "With this Plumpynut! we can save all the worlds hunger and starvation in 3 weeks" Rather ambitious I'd say. Basically isa peanut butter paste sweetened with milk powder and vitamins..

I still like the faces made when I interject it into a sentence..... Kinda like Jaberwocky. I would love to see the looks if you shouted it in a theater......
 

 

I humbly submit to the man who created the internet.... algore be praised. And the Plumpynut nearly-dead shall rise and go vote!


:P
 

 

Ah. I did look at the demo for part of the Visual Studio program, and while it is certainly far more capable than what I have, much of what I do is similar. For instance, I make a lot of forms for Access, and while I have a lot to learn, I use VBA (Visual Basic for Applications) coding quite a bit. You know you can "practice" some programming even in Word, or Excel for instance as they also use VBA to a point? I have created some rather complicated databases in Access. It all started with a database to track mandatory yearly evaluations and meetings for the individuals. I also created a database for Restraints, some very complicated databases for the doctors for Decubitus, and to track side effects of certain psychotropic medications, and a database for Staff Development to track training needs.

Tell you a scary one... I actually wrote one code that allowed a variable square of option buttons to display. For example, say you have one "test" or "training" that has 10 steps and 5 possible answers for each step, the form will show a display of 10x5 option buttons to check. It can cover from a 1 step by 2 answers, up to 12 steps by 8 answers and show the appropriate grid, in addition to providing a box to enter duration if appropriate. I was so proud when that finally worked!

I think you can see this, even not being a member, by going to this link:

http://forums.delphiforums.com/infinite ... msg=5055.5

Heeeheee... and thiese are a few codes I made for an Excel file to predict a final score for LSU vs Alabama (or whatever LSU's victim's name) based on ratings in several football areas.

=IF((AZ1=0),"",IF(AZ1<15,3,IF(AZ1<30,6,IF(AZ1<50,7,IF(AZ1<65,9,*CUBE BREAK*
IF(AZ1<75,14,IF(AZ1<80,17,IF(AZ1<85,"Now you're just lying!",""))))))))

=IF((AZ1+BA1)=0,"",IF(BA1<15,23,IF(BA1<30,27,IF(BA1<50,34,*CUBE BREAK*
IF(BA1<65,42,IF(BA1<75,49,IF(BA1<80,52,IF(BA1<10000,72,""))))))))
 

 

I am by no means an expert, have never had even one class on these programs. Taught myself mostly from Google and some books. You can almost always find the code you need, or something to get you close to it, on the web for free.

Hee hee... if you liked that error message, check out the one I did for my restraint database:

Private Sub Form_Error(DataErr As Integer, Response As Integer)
Select Case DataErr
Case 3022
Response = acDataErrContinue
MsgBox "You have caused unneeded wear and tear on your fingers by trying to enter" & vbNewLine & _
"a support record for this person for the same day and time as one already entered." & vbNewLine & _
"You can try, but the guardian of the gates will only laugh and not allow entry!" & vbNewLine & _
"To prove his point, he will now close the gates and you will have to try again."

Case 3317
MsgBox "You have really made the database mad by trying to enter a date greater than today!", vbApplicationModal
Response = acDataErrContinue
DoCmd.Close
Exit Sub

Case 3314
MsgBox "A required field such as time in, time out, restraint type etc. is not allowed to be empty."
Response = acDataErrContinue
DoCmd.Close

Case Else

DoCmd.Close
End Select

End Sub

That Excel forumla only looks complicated, it really is not. This is the shortened code for the "losers."

The basic If statement in Excel is If(x is true, then do y, else do z)

So this: IF(AZ1<75,14,IF(AZ1<80,17,IF(AZ1<85,"Now you're just lying!",""

Would read: Check the value in cell AZ1 (which is where I summed a row of about 5 football variables rating such as defense etc), if AZ is <75 then print 14. If not, then If AZ1 is greater than or equal to 75 but less than 85, print 17, but if AZ1 is equal to or greater than 80 then print "Now you're just lying!"

Access uses a similar statement, only it is Iif which also basically is an If then statement. In fact, both are used in VBA or Access queries for example.

Iif(VariableA>80,"True","False")

is the same as

If VariableA > 80 Then
MsgBox "True"
Else
MsgBox "False"

End If

One thing I have enjoyed about this is that now I sort of understand the buttons you see here and what they do, or why drop down boxes work etc.

Now I am yet to understand why everywhere constantly makes you repeat your email address to make sure you did it right. That really PO's me!

Oh, and by the way, most people have no idea what Excel is capable of. Too many people use it as a word processor or at best a simple calculator. Check out Pivot charts and tables in Excel... they essentially turn Excel into a database.
 

Comrade, now don't ask me any questions about Word as I hardly ever use it, but I have played just a bit to see what it can do. You can even do "forms" in Word. I am sure you will recognize some of the stuff you know from Visual Basic here. Now I have Word 2003. so this is the directions in that edition.

Open a blank document. Go to "Tools" in your toolbar, and then choose Macro. In that drop down list you will see Visual Basic Editor. Click on that and you will see familiar sort of set up. Choose Insert from the toolbar and you will even see User Form option there, and when you pick that, you will see the familiar palate of buttons, text box etc, show up there.
 

Wow Comrade! You are right, there is even an object browser. This is a whole new world for the Word experiance.

(It is 2003 with me too. Microsoft will have to drag me, kicking and screaming to the new office suite. As with Windows Vista, the new office suite, they changed too much, I do not like it.)
 

 

So much confusing programming....

I remember there is an Easter Egg in Microsoft word, if you type something in (I forget what it is) it ends up typing "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog", like, a million times.
 

Easter Egg?! Do not knock the programming Betty, games can't run on art alone.
 

Whaa...? That sentence confused me. Please can you re-word it so that a miniscule mind like mine can comprehend? (Use small words and talk slowly)
 

No-diss-programming-games-need-programming-work. No-programming-game-no-workee.

(lol, do not worry Betty, you are not the only one that does not understand my wording, logic, or reasoning. I like to think that it is because I am so smart, but I do not think that isreally it)
 

I think I understand now... I think....
 

 

I also did a database for some assessment reviews (which frankly are about as valid as a Hsu contribution - but hey, I didn't create them, I just did a database to track and evaluate the data). A few weeks ago, one of the psychologists was asked by the big shots in Baton Rouge to pick a random selection of the assessments to pass on to them. He was given the sort of labor intensive directions on how to pick a random selection of the sort we were taught way back in the days where computers were not easily available outside some mainframe. Basically, it would have taken him several hours or a day to do. I told him to hold on a few minutes and I would give him a random sample. So all I did was export the record ID from my Access database into Excel, used the RAND() function, and then brought that back into Access to query those records. I know that can be done in Access as well, but it was quicker just to do it in Excel.
 

Boy, did we hijack this thread totally with our comp/prog talk, or what?

Or maybe our discussion can be considered scholastic?
-Mikhail
 

I must now DENOUNCE both Comdare Pupovich and Comrade Redtheprogressive fox as being postwhores......
 

This was a scholarly thread.... but if I am to be denounced as a post whore... so be it! Have you something against whores Comrade Red Star? Hmmm? According to my database for the Pup's Party Pleasure Palace, you have never evidenced this prejudice against our partner diverse comrades before.

However, a postwhore denotes someone interested in rank, someone who struggles to compete. As we know, competition is anathema to progressive socialism and one that engages in such behavior must be smacked down immediately with prejudice. I can assure you comrade, I have no interest in rank or in competition to be tops. In fact, I was shocked to discover there even was a count of such information, and to discover that Premier Betty was #1. Now surely you are not going to infer that Premier Betty is a postwhore?
 

 

 

 

Nah. Just that you have no life.
 

 

 

Sorry, all this talk of denouncing, and purging got me nervous and suspecting. you know what that's like don't you? Even the mention of one's name in conjunction with anti-party behavior can throw the most hardened comrade into convulsions, and shouting fits of "Blame Bush!"
 

<lol> great code Pup. Yes! Purge LoneRedStar! Purge him from the party and I will purge him from the Peoples Republic state of Texas!

Betty, it is ok, we know that you are a loyal party member. You still hold the highest number of posts than anyone, but watch out, for if we did compete, I should say that the Pup is coming after your title.
 

I know, I have checked the post scores occasionally, and it used to be that the only real threat was the Chairman, but the Pup has been exceeding all expectations and is rising through the list quite quickly. However, I will retain my title... not that I'm competing or anything, I just want to... um... save... something... and... um stuff....

<throws smoke bomb on the floor and runs out in the ensuing confusion>
 

Rest assured, Commissar Pupovich seeks no title other than what ever title the Party decides that I am worthy of attaining through my activities in support of the Party. I am so honored to be a Commissar I can hardly say the title without tears coming to my eyes. Now if it were not for the loyalty I have for the Chairman, why, that would be a goal worthy of the Pup. One can only dream..... But there can be only one... *Highlander music playing*
 

 

That is some eggselent coding!