While Mr. Cameron's findings are meant to destroy the basic tenets of Christian faith, Mr. Limbaugh's discovery strikes at the very heart of progressive faith that denies the existence of a self-sufficient Individual who can survive without the government handouts, regulations, and oversight.
Limbaugh said Monday that he is in possession of tangible, physical, archaeological, and forensic evidence that the Rugged Individual once roamed the fruited plane and was buried several miles away from San Francisco's Mission District, underneath an apartment complex. "He was totally self-sufficient and did not depend on any centralized government," declared Limbaugh, whose claim is being dismissed in progressive circles as nothing more than a publicity stunt.
"Assertion that the so-called Rugged Individual could exist on the West Coast or anywhere else in America - independently of the government, without health insurance, minimum wage regulations, FDA standards, and union protection - is a ridiculous and unscientific invention," says , Professor Emeritus in the Political Science Department at Boston University. "Everybody knows that Rugged Individuals never lived in that area, and that pioneers who settled in California were all collectivist hippies who lived in communes, received welfare checks, and worshipped the Common Good™."
Limbaugh insists that he is not a revisionist historian; he is only reporting facts. "It's a fact that the Rugged Individual once lived in America and settled the West," the controversial commentator said. "He used to be free and morally upright. He spoke his mind without fear of persecution. He ran his own business the way he saw fit. He raised his own children according to his own values. He owned property that he earned with his own hands, and he used a gun to protect that property from thieves. These are facts. So what I'm saying is, hey, world, pay attention. First let's discuss the facts and then let's see their implications on progressive ideology."
Social scientists are widely and roundly rejecting these claims. Some are dismissing them as a ploy backed by corporations to pervert the truth. "The whole progressive movement has faced this since the day Marx wrote his Communist Manifesto," writes one scholar in a letter to San Francisco Chronicle. "Limbaugh needs to go back to college and take a standard course in political science," writes another scholar. "Our whole philosophy is based on the impossibility of Rugged Individualism. I have no plans to give this discovery any publicity within the walls of my college."
Others compared Limbaugh's findings to the one made by James Cameron in Jerusalem: "At least the discovery of the Christ family bears all marks of scientific proof - the inscriptions of the names that match the bones of Jesus, Mary, their son Judas, and their dog Snowball, which many scientists agree was a common dog name in Judea at the time. In contrast, Limbaugh's alleged finding is a blatant attempt to cash in on a sensationalist bandwagon."
Yet another group of scholars, while not denying the existence of the remains, were quick to search the local archives for documents proving that the cost for Rugged Individual's burial had been subsidized by the government, and that in his early twenties he had received a welfare check for three weeks while being unemployed.
News networks also maintained a level of skepticism. Over on CNN, Lou Dobbs prefaced a segment on the subject by observing, "If these claims are true, and many people doubt they are, that raises questions about the progressive assertion that Rugged Individualism is a capitalist myth and that the only moral way for humans to exist is by abandoning private property, sacrificing personal interests to the Common Good™, and living off kind handouts from the benevolent central government. Personally I like the utopian blueprints better."
The final word in this debate belongs to the former Vice President Al Gore who said, "The main function of the government is to reduce every person's footprint on this planet. So even if the Rugged Individual existed he should've been wiped out anyway, for the sake of saving the planet."
James Cameron finds tomb of Jesus family, buries career inside.
Scholars and archaeologists were shamed today as the Academy Award winning director and People's Hero corrected prior assumptions about 27 year old Israeli find.
"Not only was Jesus married, the evidence strongly suggests he was also a slave-owning global-warmer," James Cameron said today. "When the experts get it wrong, we with money must get it right. The 'larger truth' demands it."
Skeptics worry that movie makers doing archaeology could lead to an - the logical end of which could lead to .
The educational news story above makes perfectly clear that the very existence of "Rugged Individual" is scientifically impossible and is nothing but a ploy by big corporations relayed by the notorious propagandist and class enemy Limbaugh. Why start the debate unless you doubt (or maybe even DENY) the findings of progressive science? Are you a DENIER? Please don't become a tool of bourgeois propaganda, a useful idiot and a puppet in the hands of the man behind the curtain (who is a White Christian Male, no doubt).
As our Green fellow travelers like to say,
Australian comrades have collaborated with our group in the past very successfully. May I interest you in the following links? You might find familiar faces...
It wasn't for nothing that Galileo was imprisoned. He went against all consensus. Even though the Revolution begins anew each day and there is nothing to learn from history we can learn by studious example.
http://www.lasvegassun.com/sunbin/stori ... 08317.html
People continued to live in FEMA trailers amidst stinking raw sewage and frequent power outages until it was already absolutely clear to everyone in that trailer park that the Nanny State is incapable of all that promised care, love, and cuddling. And even then they were reluctant to evacuate. The social experiment has been completed successfully. THE DEBATE IS OVER.
People can't do anything on their own without the State. Never have, never will.
... Mind you, if I'd had to go around being called Scooter, I might enjoy prison...
Toast is burning,
The reason that I masquerade as one of those silly queers is to become a babe magnet. Oh, I know I can have all of the proles that I want but on my plantation my breeding has been so successful that they can arouse the interest of farm equipment and other proles. Breeding is technically possible but the A/V aids are horrible. So to overcome that I masquerade as a flaming queen, hoping to be "saved" by other people, for as is well known, homosexuality is not innate but a choice and a moral perversion. Ask Ralph Reed, and he will tell you that, in the interstices of time when he's not trying to control every aspect of your life.
So I hope to be saved from myself. But the problem is presenting an accurate persona. I really have no sense of color, for indigo, mulberry, and puce are all purple to me, and I have on that account established a special pink quarter on my plantation which I use for gay advice. But as is well known, they do not breed (except lawyers), and so I have to recruit them.
Ah, the difficulties in maintaining a progressive life style.
The Lumpenwagon: People's Housing and Locomotion Unit
(Lupe, go to Sams Club and buy me one of those big shopping carts for my ass. I wish to be transported like the proles to feel their pain. Also make sure it is made of gold and encrusted in precious stones.)