Our random curriculum policy, while a grand success, has been widely misunderstood. Perhaps now people will see the light.
When it comes down to it, choosing one subject of study over another, or emphasizing one subject rather than another, is a sign of BIAS. Therefore, in a just society, randomness (based on "Heisenbergian Social Theory") is absolutely necessary. If history has taught us anything, it has taught us that randomness is the rule. After all, if things weren't random, then Bush would never be President, and white men would never be in charge!
At the Board of Ed, we strive for randomness. Our principals are appointed through random lottery, our grades are distributed in a double-blind manner, and we attempt to eradicate all points of view from our materials. Of course, occasionally a point of view seems to come across, but that is only because the lack of a WHITE MALE DOMINATED point of view SEEMS LIKE A POINT OF VIEW ITSELF when in fact the playingfield is so level and frictionless as to be a utopian surface, created by the entities formerly known as "Gods."
Keep up the good work people! We are on our way!
(By the way, nothing is funny about random salary increases for teachers. These must be based on sound fiscal policy and must occur every quarter.)
HIP HOP REPUBLICAN
I have finalized my report on black social collectivism!
Based on my research, African Americans are supporting in a bloc our "Dear Leaders" Bill and Hillary Clinton. The relationship between our party, African Americans, and our Dear Leader have never been stronger.
They have even made our "Dear Leader" officaly black, like a magic wand, they have made him "black".
They also have denied blackness to undercover blacks, who are the enemies of the State! They have been working to keep the people's cube from black folks! These fascist, uncle tom, capitalist pigs have been identified by names as Clarence Thomas, Colin Powell, Condi Rice, all are according to our records officialy no longer black!!!!
We have given them some state approved drugs, to see if they were born black or if they were white CIA operatives! We will know soon comrades! Within weeks their skin will get lighter and lighter until it starts to peel and boil, revealing the spies' true colors. Good ole White Craker, Republicans!
We will report as soon as possible... stay tuned!
I have also articulated to the people how Neo-Progressive ideas will help them become dependent on the STATE! And according to the last reports, it's been working like a charm.
I have sent the 10.000 dollar check, to the "ministry of minority propraganda". Minsiters Al Sharpton and Jessie Jackson, who are ministers for the State, are often confused for men of the cloth!
Comrades, we thought this mishap would hurt us but as time has gone on it has been a, well, a blessing!
"Amen" Comrades! Amen!... And can the Church say AMEN!!!
bohemian like you
The courts awarded me back child support for someone else's kids! Only in Amerika!
I remembered this old spoof the other day, seeing how the old "unbiased randomness" is being reborn on a larger scale as "unbiased totalitarianism."
There is a reason why no one is trying to prevent fires by equally dousing all houses, or to treat the irritable bowel syndrome by mandating that the entire population takes one and the same pill, or to make a living by investing money equally into all stocks, regardless of their performance. Why can't the same common sense be applied to our security? Unless there are other considerations at play...
No longer will fireman, for example, be able to lay around, the firehouse and lift weights, and clean things.
The tax payer will get "more banged up" by having perpetual fire drills and call response,
Try to get the chiefs moving without quantities of prune juice and ex lax.