Marxists Riot over Desecration of Their Holy Book

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Rumor has it that brutish fascist guards have further defiled Das Kapital (or the bible, as I like to call it) by soaking its glorious pages with "golden showers". Sources are also reporting that Marxist detainees are being forced to use crisp 100-dollar bills for bookmarks. It's outrageous! Somebody call Amnesty International.

In protest, I have burned copies of F.A. Hayek's The Road to Serfdom and The Constitution of Liberty, in addition to every Ayn Rand book that I could lay my hands on by means of spontaneous Marxism. Milton Friedman's Free to Choose, and Robert Nozick's Anarchy, State, and Utopia were likewise used to fuel the great conflagration.