"Mexican people across North America can finally get fast food just like back home," said Margarita Cagada, executive director of the New Jersey state chapter of La Raza. "On behalf of all Hispanics everywhere, La Raza praises Taco Bell for its loyalty to diversity and the promotion of Chicanismo within the community."
Pedo Flojo of the East Brunswick Migrant Workers Center spoke for many of his compañeros as he wolfed down his third chicken chimichanga. "¡Buenísimo! It's just like back home in Durango. Now that Taco Bell added E. coli to the lettuce, I get a nice Montezuma-sized chorro blast. A pantload of hot re-fried beans after every meal.
"The cause of reclaiming our Raza has just received its biggest boon in the last hundred years," said Erika Ramirez, co-chair of the Aztlán Youth Conference, quoting extensively from MEChA's .
"Taco Bell-induced diarrhea is only the first step towards the return of the indigenous culture. A full, irreversible revival of the indigenous consciousness will result in a planned removal of paved roads and highways, power lines, TVs, radios, telephones, computers, indoor plumbing, irrigation, industries, schools and hospitals - until the entire Aztlán territory is restored to its indigenous virgin form," said Ramirez.
"Once we are free of the debilitating hegemony of the materialistic American culture, we will fulfill our romantic goal of farming the land with wooden sticks under the benevolent rule of a true Aztec king, entertaining ourselves spiritually with human sacrifice, and eating as much E. coli as we can lay our hands on,"said Ramirez, who jiggles her political activism with the responsibilities of a freelance journalist, educator, and a full-time caller to local and national radio talk shows.
Antonia Lopetz, a professor of cultural studies at UC Berkeley, cautioned that the dream of Aztlán is being willingly and maliciously thwarted on a daily basis by criminal American corporations, such as, and others that "invent alien to the Aztlán culture food sterilization technologies," reducing the level of E. coli in food by up to 99%.
"We must boycott and sabotage their products - unless, of course, they hire undocumented day laborers or MEChA activists to work in their laboratories, which would result in an equally satisfactory outcome," Lopetz said.
To preempt possible accusations of parochial nationalism, Professor Lopetz and other Aztlán activists have suggested that the Taco Bell success story be equally redistributed among all ethnic minorities throughout the 50 states, bringing the culturally liberating effect of E. coli to sushi, lasagna, pork rinds, shish kebab, Irish stew, tandoori chicken, and beef fried rice.
Saragosal, in a proletariat uprising, sued Raul to see where the money had gone, but at that time Raul was being challenged by Eddie M., a US Marshall, for sheriff. Saragosa, which was suing Raul for money, voted 98% for him.
Nothing matters but La Raza.
In New Orleans, William Jefferson got re-elected to US Congress after he got caught with 90K in his freezer, which he was trying to save during the Katrina rescue operation, holding two trucks and a helicopter for about an hour, at the expense of his constituents who all hated Republikkkans for not saving them in a timely fashion - which is why they re-elected William Jefferson.
Etc, etc, etc.
Nothing matters but the Party. They won by convincing the voters that it's the other party that's bogged down in the Culture of Corruption™.
We're victims of a "fitter species". I know.
Absent from this on the left is someone who stands and shouts, "Where's the outrage?" They feel none, for they think that laws are a snare for those fool enough not to know how to avoid them, which is why the real victim of the 2006 election is the bench, for that is where the left's dirty work is done.
Or, as Karl Marx put it, "Philosophers up till now merely explained the world, but the real task is to change it so that we can stop the Global Warming."
And it is the greatest incarnation of our beloved Stalin's Great Lie. Tell a lie often enough and stupid people, that is the people that the Republikkkans want to skin, will believe it.
The world is warmer than it has been in 400 years so we must not use jet airplanes. That's because they quit using jet airplanes in Elizabethan England and went to see Hamlet instead. That is why Ye Olde Jette Aeroplane Shoppe had to change its name to Studebaker.
Personally I think that the Peoples' Revolution needs to have a backup scare-du-jour when Global Warming no longer works. When our liberal comrades control most of big business we will not be able to use them as the victims, so we must find someone else.
Wymyn? Might be hard. Blacks? Too many guns since The Revolution has banned them in big cities. White, heterosexual males? They're nearly beaten to death now. Mexicans? They don't control enough. Jews? People I admire have been killing Jews for 5,000 years but there really aren't enough of them around to blame and being smart, a lot of them are in on the action. "They have the income of Episcopalians but vote like Puerto Ricans."
Gays? Now that one might have legs. After all, some of them want full rights like any one else and we need people to whip to advance our cause. And killing gays would have great consequences. Architecture would all be Soviet Modern. There would only be three colors. All music would sound like 90s music when so many of the people who normally made it were dying. And I for one would make the sacrifice. Chairman, choose a beard and I will marry her, and you can frolic with Conflict Crystal drinking Krystal in a special leather room made of skinned Republikkkan hides in the back of my house while I take my pleasure in a gym full of men who spend a lot of time with dumbbells--those they lift and each other.
All hail the Revolution! It's all for the good of us, er them, er, the stupid, er, the resentful.
And all made possible by that Engine of Class Envy, the Democratic Party! Live and don't let live! Live unfree and Die! They have not begun to fight and it's all over! Full speed ahead and damn the consequences, which we'll blame on the Republikkkans!
Now, I'm going to shoot myself with my Makarov pistol since I'm a white male and therefore a stain on the face of the planet. Budem zdorovy Comrades!
The engine of environmental scare tactics is already in place and is no need of changing! White males are merely the cause of mother earths problems, not the actual problem. After Global Warming has fizzled all we need to do is flip back to Global Cooling! Back in the '70s that was the mantra....same causes and all, white hetero males are killing the world and thus causing it to cool. After about a decade or so of no one really paying attention to it, out came Global Warming! That caught on...it's hot out isn't it!! It's too hot and it's the fault of industrialized capitalist white male society! What? Increased solar output? Tilt of the earth? Regular cyclical climate changes? Madness!! It's industrialized capitalist white male society to blame! This has been going on since the dawn of the industrial age. The masses love to panic about something and they need someone to blame. The people to blame always remains the same comrades....it's the reason to blame them that changes.
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
Some eminent British socialists are even on record as saying it's the fecal matter that gives the food flavor. Who are we boorish Americans to argue?