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Grievance Reporting for Hope'N'Change Operating System

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To automate the growing number of grievances, reduce paperwork, and bring the grievance collecting into the 21st century, the Obama Administration has created a new agency, the U.S. Department of Grievances, linked with other agencies and taxpayers through the newly launched 2009 Hope'N'Change Operating System.

Given that the most optimistic evaluation of Obama's stimulus plan included this language, "If we do everything right, there's still a 30 percent chance we'll get it wrong," and that the government's record of "getting everything right" is shaky at best, the new department's current goal is to prepare for the impending "30%" outcome.

If you and your family find yourself among the 30-percenters, you may submit your Grievance Report, which the government will redress within the limits of its estimated efficiency rate of 70%.

To make sure your report receives the utmost attention, the Obama Administration hired an experienced report handler from Microsoft who has successfully redressed millions of error reports from Windows users in the last 15 years.

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If you continue to find yourself within the government's 30% margin of error, you will see the following alert, which you must also submit.

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If your grievances still haven't been adequately redressed, you will receive another alert that will fill you with hope that change is still possible.

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Alerts are subject to change. There is a 30% chance that the future government alerts will look as follows:

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Additional reporting by Comrade General Secretary.

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UPDATE
(Comrade Fifth Column receives an increased ration of beets for the next fiscal year for this (all rations are taxable according to your Party rank)).

When you do your taxes with TurboShare 2009 your income numbers get reported to the Office of Redistribution.

UPDATE:

Now that our predictions are becoming reality, we decided to make lemonade out of a lemon and collect whatever remaining capitalist exploitation units the masses still have, with this new merchandise. Also available on a poster and a bumper sticker (two in one!)

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Obama: Fatal Error by Red_Square

 

 

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Obamissar 7.62 wrote:[I denounce suck bunny for claiming a title which suggests he is of the Inner Circle (praise be to the comrades more equal than I) when in fact he is not.

Also I denounce Suck Bunny for suggesting WINE was meant to run the Capitalist Oppressive OS from Redmond, when in fact it was made to run APPLICATIONS meant for that most evil of OS'. I suggest using VMWare if you wish to run The OS From Redmond That Shall Not Be Named.

I would start looking into warm clothing, a beet digging shovel, and the nearest railway platform if I were you Comrade Suck Bunny.

While the Obamissar is technically correct about WINE, recall that our glorious comrades cannot run TurboShare on Linux in this way, as it was meant to run on the People's OS (HNC), not the Imperialistic OS from Redmond! Therefore, users of WINE are in league with the capitalist pig agenda, and I thus must denounce Obamissar for his denouncements!

BTW, I rather like beets and we should all do our part to cultivate the collective farming infrastructure. Perhaps you are trying to dodge your work on behalf of the people Obamissar? Moreover, I am in no need of warm clothing, as my natural furriness and fervent love of our dear leader is sufficient to provide me with acceptable levels of core temperature....unlike YOU Obammisar, who would exploit the fruits of our glorious factory proletariat to indulge your desire for bourgeois comforts (clothing indeed)!

I should suction your head with my plumbers plunger for such insults! Expect another report to the grievance committee comrade!

 

 

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I must humbly correct you, comrade Red. While I hail from the former Capitalist/Fascist Occupied Territories of the DDR (by the Imperial West called Federal Republic of Germany) I moved to the USSA (Soviet of Oregon, later Washington - after filling out necessary permits at local Miliz Office) in 1996 g. after the Great Leader Clintonov did not inhale the opiate of the masses.

I still have connection to Nomenklatura of the DDR, as my great-aunt lived in Berlin Hauptstadt-der-DDR-Pankow, thus, calling on international drushba, I will assisst in procuring large rabbitts from your vassal state, home of the real-existierenden Sozialismus and the antifascist protection wall.

 

 

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Also, if you get engaged in email correspondence with Scarlett Johanssonand receive her weekly political advice, you may also become president - or at least feel like one.

We just need to find out which of SJ's clones engaged in email correspondence with Barack Obama. We just hope it was not one controlled by some capitalist splinter group within the Republican Party.

 

 

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Comrade_Tovarich wrote:
Commissar Theocritus wrote:The Clap On is the easy part. The Clap Off is the hard part. Which when you think about it seems rather oxymoronic.

Comrades,

Allow me to digress with relevance: There is a chain store (regional, I believe) in my current Preferred Polity of Choice called Hard Off. I keep waiting for the competitor or sister (brother?) store to appear. I know it's out there: I can feel it.

Comrade Comrade Comrade,

Are you a regular contributor to engrish.com? They have a brog too...

 

 

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[html]Also I think that he, sorry, <b>he</b> would switch to a Mac which uses the Trash instead of the Recycle Bin.

With something dangerous like the constitution, you want to make damned sure it's all gone. When you recycle, there might be bits and pieces left. Twenty-five years ago in East Germany the toilet paper was, I'm told, made of recycled unbleached newsprint--and you could read words that had been printed on it.

Just think if he, sorry, HE, <i>recycled</i> the Constitution and some poor person saw the word "liberty"--it might cause an actionable cardiac arrest.[/html]

 

 

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Every trip I make home to the USSA I return mildly disappointed at the lack of WiFi access. Yet it is better than in Japan, where everyone but I has fast cellphones that do wonderful things. Since I do not wish, like a Japanese student I knew, to develop a herniated disk by toting my laptop everywhere, I have not purchased a USB gadget that lets me use the cellphone unlimited data plans (different rates for different bandwidths). However, an Asus Eee PC with such a gadget might be the ticket.

Someone used to make SD card cellphone links, which would let my PDA do everything. However, those are now scarce. If my PDA had two SD card slots, I would have gone for it.

 

 

Comrades,
An old uncle of mine reminded me of the good old days in the Soviet Union under dear-leader Stalin. He said that the Soviet leadership also had a grievance board where well-meaning scions of the Soviet Republic could send their suggestions and gripes about some part of the system or another.
Uncle Zirov said that he warned his brother(an uncle I never met) not to send grievances to the grievance board but his brother did anyway. Uncle Zirov said Stalin was much to busy to read such letters. His brother was sure that "uncle Joe" would enjoy his comments. He said that about one week after his brother sent his letter he disappeared.
It was bandied about that Stalin thought so much of Zirov's brother's suggestions that he was brought to Moscow for a job advising the Politburo. A week after the disappearance my uncle Zirov said he was attacked by three unknown men and beat within an inch of his life going home after work....
While in the hospital uncle Zirov thought,......"boy...if Uncle Joe Stalin gets wind of this beating of his favorite adviser's brother...there will be hell to pay."
Tell me...do you think it is possible that if we complain. too.....we will have a job in Washington?? Perhaps as adviser to our politburo!!!!!

 

 


 
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