Government Shutdown Averted: Bad News, Good News

 

The good news-- Former Speaker Pelosi courageously warned Americans that enactment of the draconian cuts demanded by tea-partiers would lead to starvation of six million geezers dependent on "meals on wheels."



The bad news-- politicians did not heed Speaker Pelosi's warning against such draconian cuts.


The even-worse news-- by the time of the 2012 election, Americans will learn that 6 million geezers did not starve.


The even-worse-than-even-worse news-- Given our news-media tools' loss of their monopolistic control over public access to prior news footage, the ubiquity of availability of video clips of Former Speaker Pelosi's courageous prediction followed by reports of the still-living geezers will be endlessly replayed on continuous loops during the months preceding the 2012 election.


What does this mean? This means we need to revitalize and modernize our embarrassing-old-news-scrubbing division by having YouTubeGoogle find pretexts for removing such embarrassing videos.



--Thought-Crime Warden
 

The Bad News: Our progressive agenda has been completely discredited. The country wants fiscal sanity restored and will accept nothing less than that from the Republicans and Democrats alike. The debate has changed and the fight is on now.

The good news: He has now been proven to be a glorious leader as President by his ability to tackle the tough issues. His re-election is looking more promising. With his wise compromise in extending that evil Boooosh's Tax cuts, now cutting spending, and future roll backs on Obama-care the Democratic agenda that will be enacted in the next two years will get the economy finally moving again. Hiring actually started to grow again after he wisely decided to extend the Bush tax rates.
Business will start to see stability, fiscal sanity and regulation rollback and by 2012 the economy will be in better shape. Our smartest President in history will be given credit by default for getting the economy back on track and might very well be re-elected.
 

The good news is that the budget-deal afforded Our Leader the opportunity to do this:


.
 

More good news-- We can thank the AP:



More bad news-- The Right-Wingers can expose the AP:





--KOOK
 

The Good News is that being a woman, I have received a reprieve from death, for the Republicans were going to kill me. They wanted to kill me in cold blood, simply for being a woman, and by the foulest, vilest, cruelest and most unusual way possible: By denying me access to reproductive health care through defunding of Planned Parenthood.

Now for the Bad News: I was really, really hoping that my sob story of how my life would be forever ruined by the shutdown would grab the attention of Jake Tapper of ABC News, and that he'd come to my house and do a whole story on how I was forever scarred for life by the Republican-induced government shutdown.

I dreamed of at one of his speeches, or of him quoting one of my e-mails to him, e.g., “I'm talkin' about folks like Commissarka Pinkie, who worried the shutdown would result in her death and then she'd miss watching the Royal Wedding. ‘Mr. President,' she wrote in her e-mail, ‘being able to watch the Royal Wedding is the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning, and the last thing I think about when I go to bed at night.' Well, make no mistake, and let me be perfectly clear about this: It's folks like Commissarka Pinkie that I think about when I first wake up in the morning, and the last thing I think about before I fall asleep at night. Why, just the other day, I was sitting on the toilet thinking about Pinkie when Malia knocked on the door and asked, 'Daddy, have you saved Pinkie's life yet?' I'm happy to say that thanks to the historic deal we struck, the answer is yes.”

Comrades, I really, really thought this would get me a spot on the news. A cover story in People magazine. A chance to appear on Dancing with the Stars. And most importantly, lots of free stuff from people who feel sorry for me and are so touched by my courageous story, that they give me a big flat screen TV on which to watch the Royal Wedding. For fifteen glorious minutes, I could've been somebody. Someone extra special. But alas, who cares about me as much as I do?

For this, I will , ever. I shall renew my pledge to seek .

(Which reminds me, when's the next edition of The People's Dating Service?)
 

Comrades,

In the week leading up to the compromise, Fearless Leader was able to add $54.1 Billion to the debt. He then flipped the Rethuglicans the bone and let them deduct a paltry sum. The fact is the debt increased by $15.6 Billion.
Speaker Bo'ner is calling this a reduction, the joke is him!
 

The bad news is, just when I am turning the age of unaccountability and able to draw Medicare and Social Security, the Right is pulling the rug out from under me. I have a cataract to remove, eyelids to lift and several other assorted improvements planned as a Medicare Celebration. The good news is I should not worry, knowing the pace at which Congress moves, I should be fine.

I believe we have seen the worst of this anyway. The Tea Party is back to work and no longer a threat. Let's face it, these people have no other source of income besides jobs and business. I almost feel sorry for them. It's like taking candy from a baby. But hey, the People need their share so no regrets.
 

The Bad News - no high speed rail.

The Good News - energy prices will continue their inexorable rise skyward! So when a bitter clinger whines at the next town hall meeting "what can you do about the high price of gas?", Obama will reply, "Sorry, but the Rethuglicans ate your high speed rail!"
 

Opiate, I don't believe you're Current with the Truth. During the oppressive, blood-soaked Bush regime, we were instructed to blame high gas prices on Bush and the Republicans and their fat cat friends in Big Oil; to express our rage by vandalizing gas pumps; and to avoid paying to support their evil policies by using siphon hoses to steal gas from those who cast their lot with Bush and Big Oil by actually buying gas.

But Change has come! Now, when anyone complains about high gas prices, The Current Truth dictates that we laugh at those people. Specifically, we are to point our fingers at them, laugh, and tell them all they have to do is trade in their clunker that only gets 8 miles to the gallon for a hybrid, and problem solved--duh! Oh, and we could also suggest that maybe if they stopped having sex with Republicans, they wouldn't have so many kids requiring the need for a hybrid van.

Besides, just as he promised her during the campaign, Peggy the Moocher is indeed getting plenty of free gas from Obama. We all are!

And anyone who hasn't noticed that by now deserves to be ridiculed.
 

Commisarika Pinkie,

How many times does Dear Leader have to solve the same problem?

It has already been explained that if people will inflate their car tires properly and get a tune up at least every year. This "crisis" will go away.
 

"What does this mean?" What it means, Comrade Warden, is that we need to get busy killing off these 6 million old folks and turn them all into loyal Democrat voting necro-Americans. Only in this way can those pesky videos of Comrade Nanski making these statements be used against the evil Rethuglicans, for once in the intertubewebs, always in the intertubewebs. We have no memory hole to make those videos disappear. The big upside to this solution is that at least 20% of those 6 million old geezers are registered as Republicans. There is no better way to turn a Republican to a Democratic than to make them assume room temperature.
 

Archie (at the State Barber Shop):"The government won't be shut down!"
Roy: "That's good."
"No, that's bad, because now I have to go to work and don't have an excuse to sit at home and complain.
"That's bad."
"no that's good, because my mother-in-law's visiting."
 

Thank goodness the government didn't shut down. Holy smokes. A shut down? That would be just awful. My goodness. If the government shut down what would we do? How would we survive? Jeepers, the government shut down? The government shut down? That's crazy! That's insane! That's absolutely mad! Has everyone gone nuts?!!! That's like a disaster movie plot. "The Government Shut Down That Destroyed The World" in Super Killer SuroundSound - with a cast of thousands! Prepare to be scared out of your seat.

Ummm, but just what happens when the government shuts down? Congress doesn't meet and pass more laws or something?
 

It is all good news. Dearest Leader and Reid snookered the Rethuglicans, just as we knew they would. When the air is cleared (and the real report is exposed) the Rethuglicans will see they only cut $2 tiny billion. Why, we spend more than that in a day in . . . women's health clinics.

snookered snookered skunked!
 

$2 billion? That's peanuts to a Democrat. They spend more money than that before getting out of bed in the morning.
 

 

<off>Maksim, that is exceptional!
 

Maksim! This needs it's own thread. It belongs in a museum.


--KOOK
 

 

Thanks all and it is . By the time I'm finished with a project I rarely can judge its worthiness. As with this one I usually step-back, study it, and think meh.
 

I denounce Uncle Sam as a redneck long haired country boy. Cracker!
 

What's Barack supposed to do next? Shine Uncle Sam's racissssst boots?!!!