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Russian zoo names baby monkey after President Putin

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[html]<img src="/images/Pootie_Poo_Looks_Like.jpg" alt="Pootie-Poo monkey" width="600" height="344" /><strong><p>MOSCOW</strong> - A peculiar bald monkey, born at the Moscow Zoo during the successful annexation of Crimea and invasion into Ukraine, has been named after Russia's enormously popular president, Vladimir Putin. The baby baboon that some believe brought luck to the Kremlin, will now be known simply as "Pootie-Poo."</p><p>Since the monkey was born, Putin's approval rating has remained at 86% without any signs of decline, according to zoo officials. "There's not a politician on earth who can maintain 86% support indefinitely - except our Russian president," says Zoo spokeswoman, Luyda Yedova. </p><p><img src="/images/various_uploads/Pootie_Poo_250.jpg" alt="Pootie-Poo monkey" width="250" height="316" class="img_right_10" border="0" />Yedova believes it is due to the luck brought by the bald monkey that the Russian consumers still aren't holding Putin responsible for any of the negative consequences of his Ukraine policy. On the contrary - in spite of the falling ruble and the catastrophic depletion of the country's budget, Putin has become even more politically powerful now than at any other time in the past decade and a half.</p><p>Zoo officials say naming the monkey after Putin was "an overwhelming favorite" among many zoo patrons who were sending in name suggestions through the zoo's Facebook and Twitter pages. </p><p>The Pootie-Poo exhibit grew popular in the weeks leading up to the West-imposed sanctions, after the zoo installed the Russian Federation's official emblem over the monkey cage.</p><p>A zoo visitor we spoke to said he found the name very appropriate. </p><p> "Putin accuses the U.S. State Department of setting up a puppet regime in Ukraine, and then he turns around and sets up several puppet regimes inside Ukrainian territory. Monkey see, monkey do," he added with what sounded like Ukrainian accent.</p><p>The zoo is now hoping the real president Putin will visit the zoo for a naming ceremony for the little monkey in the coming weeks.</p><p><img src="/images/various_uploads/Pootie_Poo_600.jpg" width="600" height="740" alt="Pootie-Poo monkey" /></p>[/html]

 

 

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Questions:

1. Where was Vladimir Putin 9 moths ago?

2. When is the episode of Maury with THIS paternity test going to air?

 

 

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Ivan the Stakhanovets - all solid questions. Indeed, the real human story here is not about the naming of the monkey. The titled should have been...

Moscow Zoo sues deadbeat dad Vladimir P. for child support

[img]/images/Pootie_Poo_Alimony.jpg[/img]

 

 

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No paternity test is necessary. Casual observance can identify the father.

putin pootie poo.jpg

Perhaps the divorce devastated comrade Putin more than he has let on.

 

 


 

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What a Glorious Name! I praise the Russian Zoo for choosing such a wonderful name. And, not only is it a wonderful name by itself, it is also the name of the most Glorious leader of the best country on Earth. Congratulations to Comrade Putin for attaining such a Glorious honor!


Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:No paternity test is necessary. Casual observance can identify the father.

putin pootie poo.jpg

Perhaps the divorce devastated comrade Putin more than he has let on.

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PutinIsAnApe.jpg

What an absolutely stupid name for a zoo animal.

 

 

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Comrade Stierlitz wrote:What a Glorious Name! I praise the Russian Zoo for choosing such a wonderful name. And, not only is it a wonderful name by itself, it is also the name of the most Glorious leader of the best country on Earth. Congratulations to Comrade Putin for attaining such a Glorious honor!


Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:No paternity test is necessary. Casual observance can identify the father.

putin pootie poo.jpg

Perhaps the divorce devastated comrade Putin more than he has let on.

Image

PutinIsAnApe.jpg

What an absolutely stupid name for a zoo animal.

One should be wary of a boy named Poo. Especially when he's in possession of a Kalashnikov.

 

 

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My daddy left home when I was three
And he didn't leave much to ma and me
Just an old Kalashnikov and an empty bottle of booze.
Now, I don't blame him cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me "Poo."

Well, he must o' thought that is quite a joke
And it got a lot of laughs from a' lots of folk,
It seems I had to fight my whole life through.
Some gal would giggle and I'd get red
And some guy'd laugh and I'd bust his head,
I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named "Poo."

Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean,
My fist got hard and my wits got keen,
I'd roam from gore to gore to hide my shame.
But I made a vow to the moon and stars
That I'd search the gulags and komissars
And kill that man who gave me that awful name.

Well, it was St Petersburg in mid-July
And I just hit gore and my throat was dry,
I thought I'd stop and have myself a brew.
At an old saloon on a street of mud,
There on a horse, pretending to be stud,
Sat the dirty, mangy dog that named me "Poo."

Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
From a worn-out picture that my mother'd had,
And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye.
He was big and bent and gray and old,
And I looked at him and my blood ran cold
And I said: "My name is 'Poo!' How do you do!
Now your gonna die!!"

Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes
And he went down, but to my surprise,
He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear.
But I busted a chair right across his teeth
And we crashed through the wall and into the street
Kicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and the vodka.

I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.

And he said: "Son, this world is rough
And if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough
And I knew I wouldn't be there to help ya along.
So I give ya that name and I said goodbye
I knew you'd have to get tough or die
And it's the name that helped to make you strong."

He said: "Now you just fought one hell of a fight
And I know you hate me, and you got the right
To kill me now, and I wouldn't blame you if you do.
But ya ought to thank me, before I die,
For the gravel in ya guts and the spit in ya eye
Cause I'm the son-of-a-bitch that named you "Poo.'"

I got all choked up and I threw down my gun
And I called him my pa, and he called me his son,
And I came away with a different point of view.
And I think about him, now and then,
Every time I try and every time I win,
And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him
Vlad or Gregoriy Anything but Poo! I still hate that name!

 

 


 


 

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Baby Monkey, Baby Monkey, Riding on a Pig, Baby Monkey

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HT: Akihiro Nihonmatsu

Here in Indiana, we have a talk show host, Greg Garrison, who uses this as bumper music at some point in his show. He has many listeners daring to suggest he drop it because it is so ridiculous.

He and his producer, always defiantly say, "Baby Monkey stays!"

Clearly, Garrison is a mole for the Muslim Brotherhood, promoting an audio that advocates a baby monkey riding on a pig, showing the dominance of his own ilk on an innocent, but abhorred, baby big. Namely, Poo, short for Putin.

[img]images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img] Garrison is a conservative to the bone! He's a good guy!

 

 

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Pamalinsky wrote:Baby Monkey, Baby Monkey, Riding on a Pig, Baby Monkey

[media][/media]
HT: Akihiro Nihonmatsu

Here in Indiana, we have a talk show host, Greg Garrison, who uses this as bumper music at some point in his show. He has many listeners daring to suggest he drop it because it is so ridiculous.

He and his producer, always defiantly say, "Baby Monkey stays!"

Clearly, Garrison is a mole for the Muslim Brotherhood, promoting an audio that advocates a baby monkey riding on a pig, showing the dominance of his own ilk on an innocent, but abhorred, baby big. Namely, Poo, short for Putin.

Image Garrison is a conservative to the bone! He's a good guy!

I curse you and denounce you, Pamalinski!!!!!

I'll never get that song out of my head, now!

You're insulting the Party™, The Prophet, Comrade Putin, Comrade Puttie-poo, Deer Leader, the MTE, my sensibilities and an infinite array of other offenses that I'm still in the process of compiling. I'm seriously considering another show trial for the offense of posting such an offensive video. Are you aware of how much terrorism that could be responsible for creating?

 

 

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Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote: I curse you and denounce you, Pamalinski!!!!!

I'll never get that song out of my head, now!
Every time that happens to me, I just fire up some Metallica and turn up the volume.

 

 

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Aaah, ha, ha! Captain Kangaroo! It is indeed a catchy little ditty, isn't it? I, too, have it embedded in my brain. I can't help it. Nothing I do can delete it from my overwhelmed, information-engulfed consciousness. I do sympathize with your predicament. Don't judge me too harshly. I am a victim, too!

As for you, Mikhail Lysenkomann, as a former opera singer, believe it or not, I also look to Metallica for solace. I am a fan of theirs. Just looked them up on Youtube because of your post and was hard-pressed to find my favorite. I did pick this as a good one, though:

It's One, but they won't let me share it or do not recognize the site. No matter. I'm sure you've heard it.

 

 

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Pamalinsky wrote: ~Irrelevant Part Removed~
As for you, Mikhail Lysenkomann, as a former opera singer, believe it or not, I also look to Metallica for solace. I am a fan of theirs.
~Irrelevant Part Removed~

Hmm... Comrade Pamalinksy, please elaborate, I am very curious...

 

 

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Well, new Comrade Stierlitz,

Since you so politely ask, I was, in another life, an opera singer. I spent my senior year of college touring the USA, Mexico and Canada with the Met.

I later moved to NYC where I became enamored with jazz and enjoyed the friendship of a community of musicians who were working their way out of the "snakepit." Dave Sanborn, Tom Malone (SNL Music Director, first ten years and featured in the movie, Blues Brothers, etc.), members of the Gil Evans band. Gil (arranger for Miles Davis) fixed me a cup of coffee in his loft in Tribeca at an after-party after a Carnegie Hall concert. A very simple thing, I know, but it meant alot to me. All musicians arrived and a party was had.

One of the best experiences I had with these people was the marriage celebration of Tom Malone. It was held in a loft in NYC. At one point, all musicians spontaneously began playing Herbie Hancock's "Maiden Voyage". They did not take any stage, they were just members of the party standing among all of us. It was moving and incredibly wonderful.

I later met people in L.A. who also attended this party without my knowledge. Those were wonderful years.

During this time I became a graphic designer and a lover of all music, including music of other countries. I was interested in what they had to say in their circumstances. I guess when I say I like something, or think it's good, it means it moves me.

Hope I haven't gone on too long here, Comrade. Thanks for your interest.

 

 

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You knew "Bones" Malone? Cool. The Blues Brothers is one of my all time favorite movies.

 

 

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Hey Mikhail Lysenkomann!

As a Metallica fan, you may enjoy this:

[media][/media]

Yeah, it's Laibach talking about Native Americans. I think they are also taking about those Americans who aren't "native" but "assimilative" Americans.

Whether they were or they weren't, it still applies!

Enjoy!

 

 

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Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:You knew "Bones" Malone? Cool. The Blues Brothers is one of my all time favorite movies.
Yes, Kapitan, I did know him. One of the sweetest people in this industry. He is very talented, plays several instruments, came from Tennessee, I believe, and kicked butt in NYC! He is a very successful studio musician, among other things.

He never said a bad word about anyone. I think this is part of his success. While we all admired him and his success, we also razzed him about his performance in The Blues Brothers.

He showed up in the movie at Grand Central, looking up and down at the building, pretending to be "curious" about it. It was funny and we all laughed, including him. He's a musician not an actor!

Tom's O.K. He's a good guy!

 

 

Pamalinsky wrote:.... He never said a bad word about anyone.

Can't see him going very far in Dear Leader's World of Next Tuesday, then.

 

 

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Unlike Jessica Lange, who tried to pacify King Kong ...

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... Ukranian Femen Co-Founder, Alexandra Shevchenko, Defies Putin after his being Gigantified into King PutinKong by Russian Gene-Splicing Medical Science in Putin Sperm-Bank Dispensary using Putin-Offspring's DNA To Enhance Putin's DNA to Gigantify Putin to attempt to Handle Rebel Ukranian Femen Co-Founder Alexandra Schevchenko ...

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--KOOK

 

 


 
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