Defiant Obama to fight warming and terror with sunscreen

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While in France today to tackle the real threat of global climate change, Team-Obama announced a new strategy that will immediately deal with serious issue of global warming and the less serious but more exaggerated threat of world-wide terrorism.

The Department of Defense along with the State Department has been working on a new weapon of war that will be deployed to the Middle East. The weapon, code named OBAMA-TONE, is the strongest sunscreen repellent known to man.

Hundreds of thousands of bottles of OBAMA-TONE are to be airdropped by American bombers into ISIS-held territories as early as next week. If the operation goes as planned the administration fully expects ISIS fighters to lay down their arms and lotion up their arms with the new global warming strength sunscreen.

Administration officials believe that glaring rays of uninhibited UV radiation have so angered those in the world's hottest regions that outrage over dark tan lines and hot sand has driven many to take up the cause to fight a worldwide Jihad against the polluters.

The burka, which was believed to be a symbol of women oppression by religious fanaticism, is now believed by administration officials to be nothing more than UV resistant outerwear.

When all goes well and violence is subdued in the Middle East, President Obama plans to airdrop OBAMA-TONE on any American cities with a yearly heat average over 70 degrees Fahrenheit.

When questioned in passing by a rigorous reporter on the new strategy, Mr. Obama simply said that the American response is "an act of defiance that proves nothing will deter us."




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The French cosmetic industry is catching up to Obama: Die for Allah and have great skin forever! (This could actually work as an ISIS recruiting ad.)




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I heard formaldehyde is the best lotion for the Daesh..... Wait! Is this campaign to make Middle Easterners look more like white Europeans?