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CUBE VIDEO: Al-Aqsa Retirement Plan (AARP) Commercial

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Impending cuts in your social security benefits? Can't afford erectile dysfunction medicine, Cadillac payments, lottery tickets, trips to Vegas, expanded cable service, gifts to grand kids, and veterinary care for your two dogs and five cats?

Sign up for Al-Aqsa Retirement Plan! Yours shall be an abode with a dome of pearls, aquamarine, and ruby, with 80,000 servants and 72 virgin wives. Can your American social security give you such an abode? Nonsense! You shall be attended by boys graced with eternal youth, looking like sprinkled pearls. And your family shall get 25,000 dollars upon signing.

All you have to do is strap yourself to a comfortable explosive device designed by our experienced professionals, and greet a crowd of infidels in the streets!

Do not reveal your connection to Al-Aqsa Brigades, Hamas, and their associates. We will deny everything. Do not consult your attorney, accountant, or law enforcement. Act normally. Explosives provided by a third party. Results may vary.

 

 


 


 

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Yeah, and every time I get a mailing from AARP, telling me not to bend because my cards are enclosed, I instantly bend and cut them into pieces.

I know, I could do more but, I just don't want to.

FAARP!

 

 

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Alas, your Kindly Uncle Unkulturny has far too many Very Important Peoples' Administrative Duties at my our West Austin Beet Farm to volunteer for such an important service to The State. However, your Uncle-U has condemned recruited a number of Young Recruits To The Glorious World Of Next Tuesday's Jihad! Every one of these Heroic Revolutionaries is eager to "mix with crowds" in Great Satan, especially in commercial settings where young women display the Shameless Sexual Wantonness of the West™ . [For a small very reasonable generous donation, you or your kollectiv may sponsor such an heroic jihadi martyr (just make your checks payable to "Cash" - or better still, "Apparatchik Unkulturny"...) And In Support of The Peoples' Revolution, let's not mention anything about "explosives" being positioned in the "Upper Body Workout/Training Weights" that these Heroic Jihadists are required to wear 24/7, okay?]

 

 

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Apparatchik Unkulturny wrote:Alas, your Kindly Uncle Unkulturny has far too many Very Important Peoples' Administrative Duties at my our West Austin Beet Farm to volunteer for such an important service to The State. However, your Uncle-U has condemned recruited a number of Young Recruits To The Glorious World Of Next Tuesday's Jihad! Every one of these Heroic Revolutionaries is eager to "mix with crowds" in Great Satan, especially in commercial settings where young women display the Shameless Sexual Wantonness of the West™ . [For a small very reasonable generous donation, you or your kollectiv may sponsor such an heroic jihadi martyr (just make your checks payable to "Cash" - or better still, "Apparatchik Unkulturny"...) And In Support of The Peoples' Revolution, let's not mention anything about "explosives" being positioned in the "Upper Body Workout/Training Weights" that these Heroic Jihadists are required to wear 24/7, okay?]
O.K. Unkulturny. O.K. Let's just chill about it. We'll be "better off" doncha think?

 

 


 
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