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MURDAH: a stunning advancement in the right to choose

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Washington, DC - A child has grown up not how you envisioned? An elderly parent becoming a burden? Have you considered a post-birth abortion? Scientists at the Barack Obama Women's Health Research Center have made an epic advancement in women's health, and the right to choose.

Scientists have developed a method to allow abortions past the third trimester, as explained by the project's lead scientist, Dr. Hillary Sanders: "Until now, women were limited to aborting only their own fetus, and only during the first three trimesters before birth. Our laboratory has pioneered the use of cloning human uterine epithelium and skin to create an external uterus we like to call the Membrane Uterus for Reclaiming Detrimental and Annoying Humans, or MURDAH bag for short."

The new method allows to clone and grow the MURDAH bag in a lab from the woman's own cells, and surgically attach it to her via a small tag on the sleeping bag-sized external uterus. Any post-third-trimester "fetus" of any age or relationship can simply be inserted into the bag, and after returning to the clinic, Dr. Hillary Sanders will exercise the woman's choice and dispose of the contents. The MURDAH bag is then removed and the woman is free to use it again.

When probed on the ethics of such an invention, Dr. Sanders replied, "I see no ethical dilemma. Law allows that fetus within a woman's body may simply be removed and disposed of. As we firmly believe in choice, along with reusing and recycling, we do harvest the fetus for further biomedical research. We do not profit off of these transactions like a greedy corporation would, but simply collect as much as we can in order to pay our laboratory and clinic overhead, along with our own generous salaries."

As expected, opinions on Capitol Hill fall strictly along party lines, with Democratic leaders and presidential hopefuls applauding this leap forward in women's health and removing the last barriers to the right to choose, while recalcitrant conservatives and their non-serious presidential candidates callously deny the real progress this advancement in science has given to humanity.

 

 

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MURDAH sounds like merda, merde, mierda in the Latin languages, all of them meaning shit.

 

 


 

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Comrade Captain Craptek

Sir, may I address you as CCC?

Could we include missing small comrades on the advertising you are suggesting?

I will set up a non-profit and rush it through the IRS for certification to save souls. I have contacts.

 

 

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This reminds me so much of Babwa Walters announcing her new topic, "Murder," stunning the audience into a new subject. She always pronounced it Muhder. To me, it always lessened the meaning of the word, and she played it for all it was worth.

She never knew how to "talk right." And, still doesn't. And, she's worth millions. So much for public education.

 

 

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Comrade Abrakham Linkol'n wrote:Comrade Captain Craptek

Sir, may I address you as CCC?

Could we include missing small comrades on the advertising you are suggesting?

I will set up a non-profit and rush it through the IRS for certification to save souls. I have contacts.

Comrade Linkol'n,

CCC? Hmmmm...Yes! Those initials bring back fond memories of the good-old-days,.. of The Civilian Conservation Corps (CCC) and the glorious work relief programs of the Big New Deal - why,...in those days I could tunnel under five miles of Colorado desert wasteland with nothing but my bare paws and a flask of The People's elixir... but, but,.. what was I saying? Ah, yes! I'll finish the story tonight after the meeting at tractor barn 3.

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RE the question of small missing comrades: Be they small or large, missing comrades are of great concern to The Party. In certain cases it is good, and in other cases it is not so good to be missing - but either way MURDAH bags can some day replace outdated milk cartons!


I will be happy to look over any advertising copy deemed suitable (by the IRS) for the MURDAH bag. In the meantime I suggest using a design with wheels - like this. A less garish and/or tasteless color may be in order.

 

 

Comrade Captain Craptek,

The only IRS-approved advertising on the MURDAH bag would say "Republicans Only! Free guns and Bibles inside!" Otherwise, I like the garish exterior.

 

 

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Captain Craptek wrote:

...I will be happy to look over any advertising copy deemed suitable (by the IRS) for the MURDAH bag. In the meantime I suggest using a design with wheels - like this. A less garish and/or tasteless color may be in order.

Craptek, is this what you mean by a "tasteless" design?

TastelessLuggage.jpg

 

 

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Comrade Stierlitz wrote:
Captain Craptek wrote:

...I will be happy to look over any advertising copy deemed suitable (by the IRS) for the MURDAH bag. In the meantime I suggest using a design with wheels - like this. A less garish and/or tasteless color may be in order.

Craptek, is this what you mean by a "tasteless" design?

TastelessLuggage.jpg

I believe the color you're proposing has already been adopted selected for our BARF bag line.

 

 

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Captain Craptek wrote: I believe the color you're proposing has already been adopted selected for our BARF bag line.

Great! I can't wait to see it on the bags at my local Baby Abortion Retail Facility!

 

 

Nice treads there, Cap'n. With such a pair of shoes, a suave ladies' rat can go anywhere and be seen by anyone.

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Lev Termen wrote:Nice treads there, Cap'n. With such a pair of shoes, a suave ladies' rat can go anywhere and be seen by anyone.

Comrade Lev - Wait till you see my new cricket shoes!

 

 

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Comrades,
Has anyone checked to see if this External Uterus method has not already been patented by Kermit Gosnell? The last thing we need is some court challenge holding up delivery of healthcare® to "our" women©.

 

 

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Soviet Mike Komsomolets wrote:Comrades,
Has anyone checked to see if this External Uterus method has not already been patented by Kermit Gosnell? The last thing we need is some court challenge holding up delivery of healthcare® to "our" women©.

I doubt Comrade Gosnell tried to patent his mayonnaise jar collection - but I'll check.

 

 

Captain Craptek wrote:Comrade Lev - Wait till you see my new cricket shoes!

I ... Cap'n, I just don't know what to say or where to begin saying it. I am dumbstruck, yea, the cat hath my tongue, and I am without words.

Do they squeak when you walk?

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Lev Termen wrote:
Captain Craptek wrote:Comrade Lev - Wait till you see my new cricket shoes!

I ... Cap'n, I just don't know what to say or where to begin saying it. I am dumbstruck, yea, the cat hath my tongue, and I am without words.

Do they squeak when you walk?

CCCS.jpg

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Subvet wrote:Waste not, want not!

Or phrased differently, "Do not waste, do not want!"

 

 


 


 


 

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Captain Craptek wrote:
Soviet Mike Komsomolets wrote:Comrades,
Has anyone checked to see if this External Uterus method has not already been patented by Kermit Gosnell? The last thing we need is some court challenge holding up delivery of healthcare® to "our" women©.

I doubt Comrade Gosnell tried to patent his mayonnaise jar collection - but I'll check.

Comrade Captain Craptek,

Now you have gone and done it. Comrades with the illegal Potato Vodka Moonshine are really going to be pissed as their mayonnaise jar trade has gone in the crapper.

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Comrades Linkol'n, Termen, and all Comrades -

I got the 57 yr. old Scotch open at last! I'm pretty sure Trump won't notice if we have a wee dram!

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There's a good old Scottish custom that has stood the test of time.
It's a custom that's been carried out in ev'ry land and clime.
Where brother Scots foregather
It's aye the usual thing.
For just before they say "Good Nicht," they fill their cups and sing;
.
Chorus:
“Just a wee deoch-an-doris,
Just a wee yin, that's a'.
Just a wee deoch-an-doris,
Before we gang awa'.
There's a wee wifie waitin',
In a wee but-an-ben;
If you can say, "It's a braw bricht moonlicht nicht,"
Ye're a' richt, ye ken.”

HIC!

 

 


 
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