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Mormons attack Broadway show, media blames producer

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MANHATTAN-- The NYPD is reporting that shots were fired at 230 W 49th St. this afternoon into the front of the Eugene O'Neill Theatre, which is the site of the Tony-Award winning Broadway musical, The Book of Mormon. It is unclear whether anyone was injured in the attack, but witnesses saw a pair of young men in white short-sleeved shirts with neckties fleeing from the scene on bicycles.

It is being speculated that the young men on bicycles were angry Mormons expressing their outrage at the show's producers.

Up until this violent episode, the reviews have been overwhelmingly positive: most critics gave the show a thumbs-up and even the Mormon Church did not condemn the satirical parody, but rather took the opportunity to ask viewers to read the Book of Mormon for themselves.

However, in an effort to appear consistent after recent events in Garland, TX, the media is now changing the tune towards blaming the Broadway producers for inciting young practitioners of the Mormon faith to commit violent acts.

FoxNews host Martha McCallum brought up criticisms that The Book of Mormon is “taunting” Mormon extremists, saying, "if you want to make a difference, you do it in a Christian way, you don’t do it in a crass crude way by insulting someone’s religion."

In an exclusive interview, CNN's Alisyn Camerota sat down with one of the show's creators, Matt Stone, who is also a co-creator of South Park:

[quote]CAMEROTA: Matt, where were you when the gunmen opened fire, and what happened inside?

STONE: We had just finished Act I, and were preparing for the second act when the NYPD came in and asked us to remain calm. They informed us that shots had been fired into the theater lobby from the street.

CAMEROTA: Didn't you know just how dangerous an event like this could be?

STONE: Well, it's dangerous because increasingly, we're abridging our freedoms, so as not to offend Mormons. The very idea that if something offends me, or I'm insulted by something, I'll go on a shooting spree and that way I can get my way, is outrageous. But somehow this is okay with members of the elite media and academia, which is just as outrageous.

CAMEROTA: Well, I mean, but Matt, nobody --

STONE: It's a Broadway musical. It's a funny production!

CAMEROTA: Sure. And nobody is saying that this warrants the violence that you saw. I mean I haven't heard anyone in the media saying that it's okay for gunmen to show up at an event like this. But what people are saying is that there's always this fine line, you know, between freedom of speech and being intentionally incendiary and provocative.

STONE: Intentionally incendiary and provocative by singing songs? This is the low state of freedom of speech in this country. I disagree, and I disagree most vehemently. The First Amendment protects ALL speech, not just ideas that we like. But even core political speech, ideas that we don't like, because who would decide what's good and what's forbidden? The Mormon Church? The government? Inoffensive speech, Alisyn, needs no protection, but in a pluralistic society you have offensive speech. You have ideas. You have an exchange of ideas. You don't shut down a discussion because I'm offended. If something offends me, should I go out and shoot up a lobby?

CAMEROTA: I mean what your critics say about this is that you weren't just going after, say, Mitt Romney, or Glenn Beck, or Warren Jeffs, but Mormonism as a whole.

STONE: The West must stand up for freedom of speech. It's the core, fundamental element of this constitutional republic.

CAMEROTA: Sure, of course, but I hope that you will reconsider whether your show contains a bigoted message that is fit to be seen by the public. You have a right to continue running the show, but many will ask whether it's really appropriate in this age of political correctness. Thank you for sharing your views with me today.

[/quote]
--End Interview--

 

 

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This is hilarity at its best.
In full disclosure: Yes, I am slightly offended that my religion is being pranced around and being insulted in this manner, but I can also see that some good can come from this misrepresentation of the LDS (Latter Day Saint) faith.

We as a church have not and will not attack this expression of free speech because as a tenant of my faith is located in a simple expression of our core beliefs known as the
"Articles of Faith", specifically number 12 - "We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law."
So the United States Constitution, that was inspired by God and brought about by those that were listening and able to hear his voice, is a sacred document that allows a very key concept that even the Almighty extends to us his children, which is Freedom. The freedom to choose and the freedom to gain our reward for our actions, good or bad.
Religion and expression are such monumental rights or freedoms that it is the first amendment. So we honor the law of the land and respect the views of those that may think unkindly of our collective communion with our Heavenly Father.

Thank you Konservative_Punk for allowing me this great segway and opportunity to proselytize. If you want to know more goto Mormon.org, LDS.org or just do a search for
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You can also contact your Morman friends or those non-gun toting young men in short white shirts WITH NAME TAGS.

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Sigh. We saw this coming.

Going to New York? Watch out for Mormon Terrorists


Other Ward members were eager to talk to us when they found out we were asking their opinions about the play. Jedidiah Smith, aged 10, told us, “I drew a picture of Joseph Smith and I’m going to send it to those South Park guys.” His mother, Lanny, said, “You know, if I ever saw Matt and Trey, I would shake my finger at them just like this and ask, ‘Have your mothers seen this show? Do they know you are having so much fun at the expense of others?”

Lanny’s comment shows just how deeply the seeds of rage and war have been furrowed into the Mormon Church.

 

 

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Those producers had it coming for being so "provakative."

 

 

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Kelly Ivanovna/келя ивановна wrote:Sigh. We saw this coming.

Going to New York? Watch out for Mormon Terrorists

Kelly Ivanovna - thank you for reminding us about your excellent reporting, which you did back in 2011 under your maiden name of Tsarevna Nookie Norperdaughter.

Certain tumultuous events and Inner Party purges of the time didn't allow me to follow the Cube as closely as I would like, and so I missed it then. But I have read it now and inserted an appropriate illustration.

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Red Square wrote:
Kelly Ivanovna/келя ивановна wrote:Sigh. We saw this coming.

Going to New York? Watch out for Mormon Terrorists

Kelly Ivanovna - thank you for reminding us about your excellent reporting, which you did back in 2011 under your maiden name of Tsarevna Nookie Norperdaughter.

Certain tumultuous events and Inner Party purges of the time didn't allow me to follow the Cube as closely as I would like, and so I missed it then. But I have read it now and inserted an appropriate illustration.
Agreed it is and was a very prescient report Comrade Kelly. Hats off for your clairvoyance. I hesitate to ask Direktor Red Square, but is that a binder full of womyn under the Mormon's arm? And if so, shouldn't the title of this musical be "The Binder of Mormon"?

 

 

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An astute observation, Komrade Konservative_Punk. The Binder of Mormon sounds just as revealing of their true nature as The Boom of Mormon or The Boo of Mormon, and a lot better than The Schnook of Mormon.

 

 

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KAMMERAT_X wrote:
The attachment Prog_Off.gif is no longer available

This is hilarity at its best.
In full disclosure: Yes, I am slightly offended that my religion is being pranced around and being insulted in this manner, but I can also see that some good can come from this misrepresentation of the LDS (Latter Day Saint) faith.

We as a church have not and will not attack this expression of free speech because as a tenant of my faith is located in a simple expression of our core beliefs known as the
"Articles of Faith", specifically number 12 - "We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law."
So the United States Constitution, that was inspired by God and brought about by those that were listening and able to hear his voice, is a sacred document that allows a very key concept that even the Almighty extends to us his children, which is Freedom. The freedom to choose and the freedom to gain our reward for our actions, good or bad.
Religion and expression are such monumental rights or freedoms that it is the first amendment. So we honor the law of the land and respect the views of those that may think unkindly of our collective communion with our Heavenly Father.

Thank you Konservative_Punk for allowing me this great segway and opportunity to proselytize. If you want to know more goto Mormon.org, LDS.org or just do a search for
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You can also contact your Morman friends or those non-gun toting young men in short white shirts WITH NAME TAGS.

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So Comrade, you're Mormon, eh? All I will say is that I'm watching you.

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Looked up your "Articles of Faith". Kinda neat, some of the ones involving "speaking in tongues" I find odd, but numbers 2, 13, and as you said 12 I see as good, and that's coming from an Agnostic. Number 13 seems to be something that all religions have in one form or another (Except Islam, either they don't have it or they're ignoring it), and 2 is nice because before I became Agnostic (Long story, let's just say it's better for me) I always thought that it was odd and unfair that because of the actions of one guy thousands of years ago we all are now some form of criminals. 12 I think every religion should state explicitly, I don't think it'd help the image of your religion out if you were breaking the law all the time or even saying that your religion gives you permission and license to break the law.

 

 

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This thread has now been promoted to the Mother Page! BYOB (bring your own Bibles).

 

 

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Comrade Stierlitz I would expect nothing less. We all must watch one another for any signs of thought crime, face crime or any appearance of dissension from the Current Truth ™ .
If we do not police our own with an Iron Hand much positive emotion, than we are failing the glory of the State.
When we move forward, we must do so as one, or for those that are more even than others, they are allowed to move forward first to lead the way for the rest.

Beware of those white shirted thought criminals, they will bend your mind against our collective progress by clouding you with yesterdays truth that is no longer true.

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Be Seeing You, Comrade

 

 

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Red Square wrote:This thread has now been promoted to the Mother Page! BYOB (bring your own Bibles).

Comrade Komissar Red Square, I know it is bad form to question an eternally true komissar, but I was always under the impression that the final B in BYOB stood for Beet Vodka or Borscht. Besides, the Bible is a tool of thoughtcrime, a book filled with thoughtcrime, and everybody who reads it shall be sent to the gulag as per State doctrine. It also is an unapproved opiate for the masses; The masses should take pill-form Exadrial, Promarx, Leninup, or Stalingrate, or powder-form Kockayne or Gorbachex if they wish to feel better and Opiated.

 

 

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Comrade Stierlitz, I have to remind you that the "Bible" in question was created and brought to the paroles, by the FicDep of the Ministry of Truth ™ and is no way a object that instills thoughcrime in the collective.
I am concerned for your lack of your blackwhite for Comrade Red Square. Must you also be reminded that Red Square is the Inner Party and is beyond any scrutiny and is not to be questioned?
It is with great emotion that I implore you to report to the nearest re-education, Adult Camp or joycamp to be released from the ungood thoughts that are clouding your bellyfeel for the Party.

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Now that I have that foolishness out of the way. I have to agree, that Red Square publicly stating to bring a bible, would in the world of Next Tuesday ™ be considered a serious offense, but with the proper sin tax to the progressive democrat party and the inevitable and deserving next president Hillary, Red Square would be just like Obama ™ and have a "malquoted" episode that is easily swept out of the public's mind.

 

 

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Both of you are incorrect in your assumptions. This is what occurs when you assume too much. It is obvious to any well-re-educated member of The Party that Direktor Red Square meant for the bible-burning ceremony.

 

 

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Konservative_Punk wrote:Both of you are incorrect in your assumptions. This is what occurs when you assume too much. It is obvious to any well-re-educated member of The Party that Direktor Red Square meant for the bible-burning ceremony.

Comrade Punk, I had not considered this. I just had a look through my emergency reeducation materials I keep around for situations like this, and I am ashamed that I assumed too much. I am off to the people's supplyhouse to buy an entire case to burn. I might even drill a hole in the corner and hang one in the outhouse on a nail, although the paper might be a bit thin for what I'm thinking of doing with them.

 

 

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Comerade Kammerat comes out as a latter day saint! Now that the Party Media organs are defending the Proletarian workers of Deseret as victims of Evangelical KKKunservative bigotry, it is time that cubists stand in firm solidarity with those who have been forced to practice their faith in secret behind innocuous looking avatars.
Isn't it time for Mormonism to come out of the shadows?
#MarxistMormonsforaMoreMiserabletommorrow

 

 

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Comrades - we all are aware that Mormon's are the most prepared; perhaps BYOB was in fact code for 'Bring Your Own Bombs'?

 

 

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Here's an oldie... look at that tiny pathetic logo... PATHETIC!!
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Zordon wrote:Comrades - we all are aware that Mormon's are the most prepared; perhaps BYOB was in fact code for 'Bring Your Own Bombs'?
I was under the impression that the Amish were the 'most prepared' for societal melt-down, but then, they don't believe in violence, even for self-defense. I was unaware that the LDS were hoarding all the bombs. No wonder I haven't been able to acquire my fair share. I thought they were just being rationed for use against our sworn enemies in Oceania.

 

 

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[color=#ff0000]Konservative_Punk[/color] must not watch any television because he wrote:
I was under the impression that the Amish were the 'most prepared' for societal melt-down, but then, they don't believe in violence, even for self-defense.
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Think again Brother Punk!
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(BTW - I like to stay hydrated when I'm under the hot lights of the Partyapproved motion picture set so... the retained water might add a few 'camera pounds' to my already big-boned frame.)

 

 

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Not many people know this, but Hedy Lamarr invented a torpedo guidance system for the US Navy during WWII:

https://www.usasciencefestival.org/schoolprograms/2014-role-models-in-science-engineering/834-hedy.html

 

 

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Comrades,

There must be something wrong with with my transmitter, what I received was "Morons attack Broadway show".

 

 

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General Confusion wrote:Comrades,

There must be something wrong with with my transmitter, what I received was "Morons attack Broadway show".
Do not attempt to adjust your transmitter General. Only a moron would physically attack and seek to harm others who insulted their religion, whether with words, songs, dancing, cartoons, etc. But the main thing to be aware of is that it is not the attacker who is guilty, but the organizer of the event that offended the attackers. Offending others by refusing to abide by the tenets of their faith is now rightfully punishable by death.

 

 

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Comrade Putout wrote:
[color=#ff0000]Konservative_Punk[/color] must not watch any television because he wrote:
I was under the impression that the Amish were the 'most prepared' for societal melt-down, but then, they don't believe in violence, even for self-defense.
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Think again Brother Punk!
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amish-mafia.jpg

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(BTW - I like to stay hydrated when I'm under the hot lights of the Partyapproved motion picture set so... the retained water might add a few 'camera pounds' to my already big-boned frame.)

I must confess Comrade Putout that my loyalties to The Party have precluded me from enjoying and taking part in the trappings of the bourgeoisie class. Admittedly, my knowledge of the Amish faith is based on outdated sources, as I have not kept up with their sect since the propaganda films Witness and Kingpen were released.

Your finger-pointing and ridiculing my lack of knowledge in television pop-culture says more about yourself than about me. Perhaps if you took your duties to the collective more seriously, rather than spending the People's time absorbing television like a sponge in water, your big-bones would not be so over-burdened...

 

 

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Armenian Radio. wrote: Isn't it time for Mormonism to come out of the shadows?
#MarxistMormonsforaMoreMiserabletommorrow

Armenian Radio you are awesome and thanks for the hashtag, that is soon to be a classic meme. (M4T)

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Here is the Patron Saint for the Party ™ of Next Tuesday ™, St. Elder Marx (ROFLOL)
I had a funny though today, that I'd like to offer to the collective.
Why is it that we have more smarts and problem solving skill here at the People's Cube ™ than in all of Washington D. C?

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Comrade Putout, I as a man, have received official authority from the Minitrue ™ to meet you at the Chestnut Tree Cafe to be observed as we are given an extra ration of the parties beet vodka and to be evaluated for possible furthering the population requirements of the party.

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Here is my Party ™ picture. I advise you to dress appropriate for the occasion.

Be seeing you ™ Image

Please, do not delay as Red square has denounced me and again I must return to the Adult camp for re-education. All glory for Next Tuesday ™ and plus bellyfeel for Comrade Red Square and his wisdom.

FORWARD

 

 

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[color=#ff0000]Konservative_Punk[/color] brought my water retention situation to a rapid boil when he wrote:
Perhaps if you took your duties to the collective more seriously, rather than spending the People's time absorbing television like a sponge in water, your big-bones would not be so over-burdened...
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At least I do not become apoplectic (yes... APOPLECTIC!) over a stupid game of Snakes and Ladders
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I had to fix what [color=#ff0000]KAMMERAT_X[/color] wrote:
Comrade Putout, I as a man, have received official authority from the Minitrue™ to meet you at the Chestnut Tree Cafe to be observed as we are given an extra ration of the parties beet vodka and to be evaluated for possible furthering the population requirements of the party.

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It's going to take more than 'an extra ration' to bed me!

When did you 'work' at Disneyland Resort Paris? I had forgotten you!
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Comrade Putout wrote:
I had to fix what [color=#ff0000]KAMMERAT_X[/color] wrote:
Comrade Putout, I as a man, have received official authority from the Minitrue™ to meet you at the Chestnut Tree Cafe to be observed as we are given an extra ration of the parties beet vodka and to be evaluated for possible furthering the population requirements of the party.

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It's going to take more than 'an extra ration' to bed me!

When did you 'work' at Disneyland Resort Paris? I had forgotten you!
Must have been a while back Putout, that French cuisine seems to have agreed with your big-boned frame much more so than the Amish cooking. As I recall, the officially licensed Konservative Punk fairy tale aprons were not available in plus sizes. Comrade Kammerat, you can find Putout's new and improved anatomically correct photo above under the name May. You may wish to shore up that bed in advance, or risk an embarrassing Shallow Hal moment.《OFF》I must admit Putout, I always enjoy your artwork. It's like a Where's Waldo for the collective.

 

 

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The two individuals seen riding from the scene of the incident have been positively confirmed by authorities as Members of the “Stripling liberation Army of Preists.”
The SLAP terror cell operating nearest to the hit Production is led by the infamous mastermind behind the 2010 Minivan Bombing, in which a Chevrolet Silverado exploded outside of a starbucks coffee shop.
The suspects were identified through their social media activity, which gave the FBI a hint regarding their motivations. Bomber suspect Jared browyer adorned his facebook activities with Religious symbols of Utah, such as Folding Chairs and Potato Casseroles.

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When I earlier said BYOB, I meant that you have to bring these Party-approved Lite Bibles (2006 edition)

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The peoples bible would do well to reduce the unnecessarily large number of commandments in the bible, seeing as only one commandment is sufficient. However, I do admit that I admire the way that the Reaktionary bible does so many things in triplicate like we do.

 

 

Starring Clark Gable and Hedy Lamarr? That's HEDLEY. Hedley Lamarr.

 

 

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Red Square wrote:
Kelly Ivanovna/келя ивановна wrote:Sigh. We saw this coming.

Going to New York? Watch out for Mormon Terrorists

Kelly Ivanovna - thank you for reminding us about your excellent reporting, which you did back in 2011 under your maiden name of Tsarevna Nookie Norperdaughter.

Certain tumultuous events and Inner Party purges of the time didn't allow me to follow the Cube as closely as I would like, and so I missed it then. But I have read it now and inserted an appropriate illustration.

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Thanks! My sister, now a recently lapsed LDS member, had given me some good suggestions to add to it, which I may do if I find the time. She was especially troubled that I had forgotten to cite Jello Salad as the weapon of choice of Mormon housewives.

 

 


 
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