Military Aid for Ukraine

Unless Russian forces immediately withdraw from the Crimea, the White House is ready to deploy the Lightbringer Brigade to Balaclava...

...and the rail gun "Big Michelle" to besiege Sevastopol:


 

Sycophants to the right of him,
Sycophants to the left of him,
Sycophants in front of him
  Cheered and applauded;
 

‘Forward (™), the Lightbringer Brigade!'
Was there a Democrat dismay'd?
Not tho' the media reported
The President had blunder'd;
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to vote and die (and then vote again):
Onto the nearest golf course
Rode Barack Obama.



[Edited to include Komissar Blogunov's verse]
 

Instead of just talking, talking, and more talking maybe Comrade John "pass the ketchup" Kerry could have his limo driver bring him to the Crimean border. Then he could arrange a camera crew to tape him tossing a few of his many war medals over the fence in protest. Surely this would impress Putin.

PS - John, stop balancing soccer balls on your head. It's not dignified!


 

Chairman Meow

... and the rail gun "Big Michelle" to besiege Sevastopol:


Truly, the rail gun's patron was well chosen. May all those near her be warmed by her flames.




 

Obama administration's contribution to the war effort: The WWII battleship Missouri, once known to her crew as "Big Mo", will be re-christened "Big Moo" in honor of Moochelle Obama's tireless service to humanity. (and the children)


 

Chairman Meow

‘Forward (™), the Lightbringer Brigade!'
Was there a Democrat dismay'd?
Not tho' the media reported
The President had blunder'd;
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to vote and die:
Onto the nearest golf course
Rode Barack Obama.
Brilliant. In fact, Most Equal.
 

Chairman Meow

Theirs but to vote and die:
...and vote again!
 

We will subdue our enemies using only the most Effective and Efficient Green Military Tech.*M17,000,000,000,000A3 National Debt Class MBT

 

Captain Craptek

Obama administration's contribution to the war effort: The WWII battleship Missouri, once known to her crew as "Big Mo", will be re-christened "Big Moo" in honor of Moochelle Obama's tireless service to humanity. (and the children)


My Dear Captain,

Just to let ya know the "Big Moo" will already have some competition in the U.S Navy for the name. There is a ship in active service who's crew has affectionately nicknamed her the Mighty Moo, and a well deserved nickname at that.
The USS Cowpens, who was named after a American revolutionary war battlefield. She is a proud ship with a proud crew, who just recently returned to be homeported in the United States after being homeported in Yokosuka Japan for over the past ten years. It's the only ship I've ever seen that had real cow horns as you looked off forward from her bridge.






The People's Navy as always is standing by to execute all orders from Dear Leader!!
 

Our Dear Leader has reached out to his trusted well rehearsed secret weapon being proven time after time to help out the inexperienced Ukrainian forces.
Forward!



 

Commodore Snoogie Woogums

Captain Craptek

Obama administration's contribution to the war effort: The WWII battleship Missouri, once known to her crew as "Big Mo", will be re-christened "Big Moo" in honor of Moochelle Obama's tireless service to humanity. (and the children)


My Dear Captain,

Just to let ya know the "Big Moo" will already have some competition in the U.S Navy for the name. There is a ship in active service who's crew has affectionately nicknamed her the Mighty Moo, and a well deserved nickname at that.
The USS Cowpens, who was named after a American revolutionary war battlefield. She is a proud ship with a proud crew, who just recently returned to be homeported in the United States after being homeported in Yokosuka Japan for over the past ten years. It's the only ship I've ever seen that had real cow horns as you looked off forward from her bridge.





The People's Navy as always is standing by to execute all orders from Dear Leader!!

Thanks for that advisory, Commodore. Looks like the FLOTUS/FLATUS is developing a formidable military force of her own - but with only the best of intentions I'm sure.
 

Captain Craptek

Thanks for that advisory, Commodore. Looks like the FLOTUS/FLATUS is developing a formidable military force of her own - but with only the best of intentions I'm sure.
It would require a new ship, the USSA Pigpens, paradoxically though predictably referred to as the "Almighty Moo." The design would, of course, require a MUCH bigger fantail than your standard battle axe battleship.
 

Comrade Marx, I am concerned that the acerage required for the expanded fantail ( or pooper deck in this instance ) would require vast amounts of steel, the demand of which might impact the availability of resources needed for shovels. Is there another way to move that much FLATUS overwater? Maybe clearcut a rain forest or two?
 

The-HUN

Our Dear Leader has reached out to his trusted well rehearsed secret weapon being proven time after time to help out the inexperienced Ukrainian forces.
Forward!
I deployed some graphic revisionism...


 

That's perfect!Thank you :)
 

Sending military aid to Ukraine need not be considered. It isn't like the US and Britain signed any kind of protection memorandum in Budapest or something.

Russia military are simply following FLOTUS "Let's Move" campaign by moving to nice vacation spot.
 

How about Colonel Obama dispatch Predator over Crimea on auto-land mode? It could earn him a couple of more classified medals.
 

Our wartime President leads the charge!