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Fifty Shades of Government: a fact-based romantic comedy

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[img]/images/50_Shades_Government_Poster_Obama.jpg[/img]

Fifty Shades of Government delivers a classy-looking, in a Cialis-TV-commercial way, story of the American people who have turned over full control of their lives to their government. As their personal stories become increasingly subservient to government-approved media narratives, the film portrays their submissiveness to the government as gratifying and empowering experience.

Advance ticket sales are dominated by Democrat voters, who will likely bring their friends and family, making the overall turnout 90% progressive.

What the critics say about the film:

[quote]Entertainment Weekly: "Losing control of your lives never felt so good."

Hollywood Reporter: "Wonderfully devoid of any conflict, as it should be in real life."

Rolling Stone: "With movable parts like these, who needs acting skills?"

Vanity Fair: "Not the lame, hot-and-bothered fantasy many conservatives said it would be. It's got insight that Hayek never had."

New York Times: "The movie's long, narcissistic speeches may be a downer, but then, no one goes to see it for the dialogue."

MSNBC: "The chemistry between the well-matched slavish individual and the dominant government offers a non-stop thrill up one's leg. They truly are the star-crossed couple."

Variety: "Too bad the romantic fun recedes as the action plunges into darker, oppressive territory. No one likes a spoiler, especially that this may well be our future."

The People's Cube: "The most satisfying definition of 'be mine' wrapped in a fact-based romantic comedy with a fair share of consensual violence, as naïve American voters embark on an affair with a powerful and deep-pocketed political machine."[/quote]~

Another version of this movie poster is targeting conservative and Tea Party audiences with the iconic image of Uncle Sam because, according to focus groups, this demographic is more likely to be seduced by patriotic imagery.

[img]/images/50_Shades_Government_Poster_Uncle_Sam.jpg[/img]

 

 

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Sign me up! I lost control of my life years ago. Beet vodka tends to have that effect on me. Finally, someone is fighting in my corner and I can now be a spectator! Hoorah!!!

 

 

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Columbia gazed plaintively into his eyes, her upturned face still bruised and bleeding. "Tax me again," she whispered.

 

 


 

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Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:Sign me up! [highlight=#ffff00]I lost control of my life[/highlight] years ago. Beet vodka tends to have that effect on me. Finally, someone is fighting in my corner and I can now be a spectator! Hoorah!!!

The "safety net" has indeed become the adult diaper.

 

 

M84
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The government only hurts me because it loves me and wants to protect me from the Rethuglikkkan war on women!

 

 

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RedDiaperette wrote:
Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:Sign me up! [highlight=#ffff00]I lost control of my life[/highlight] years ago. Beet vodka tends to have that effect on me. Finally, someone is fighting in my corner and I can now be a spectator! Hoorah!!!

The "safety net" has indeed become the [highlight=#ffff00]adult diaper[/highlight].
Self-Reliance is a thing of the past. It's an antiquated notion that should have died with Kapitalism. Let it go. Besides, The Kollektive™ cannot really trust you with such matters. You have much more important things to do for the People™. Let the Regime control your bladder while you enjoy a care-free existence, performing your services to the state unencumbered by such trivialities. Just think of all the time you will save by rendering toilets obsolete. As a bonus, you will no longer waste the People's water supply on selfish vanity. It's not only better for you, but also for the environment. It's for The Children™. It's the future, Get Covered™... OR ELSE!

 

 

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Konservative_Punk wrote:
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Self-Reliance is a thing of the past. It's an antiquated notion that should have died with Kapitalism. Let it go. Besides, The Kollektive™ cannot really trust you with such matters. You have much more important things to do for the People™. Let the Regime control your bladder while you enjoy a care-free existence, performing your services to the state unencumbered by such trivialities. Just think of all the time you will save by rendering toilets obsolete. As a bonus, you will no longer waste the People's water supply on selfish vanity. It's not only better for you, but also for the environment. It's for The Children™. It's the future, Get Covered™... OR ELSE!

Comrade Punk, You speak truth. However, I'd like to ask you about something:

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Why is there "Company" in your graphic? The Kollektive™ kollektively owns all methods of production. Companies are not collectively owned. Therefore, you must not be part of The Kollektive™, are a spy who somehow got into The Kollektive™, or are a traitor. Either that, or you found that graphic in the rear portion of your latest pair of Guvs after you were done making a brown mess in them, took a photo of it, and put it on here.

Comrade, I have my eye on you.

 

 

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Why is there "Company" in your graphic? The Kollektive™ kollektively owns all methods of production. Companies are not collectively owned. Therefore, you must not be part of The Kollektive™, are a spy who somehow got into The Kollektive™, or are a traitor. Either that, or you found that graphic in the rear portion of your latest pair of Guvs after you were done making a brown mess in them, took a photo of it, and put it on here.

Comrade, I have my eye on you.
I think it goes without saying that we have not yet reached the Glorious World of Next Tuesday™. Although I have eagerly attended the kollektivist meetings behind traktor shed no. 2, I still have much to learn. We are still yet in a transitional phase toward that Utiopian Society that we all seek, and I have admttedly fallen short. Therefore, in the self-corrective spirit shown by party faithful such as the late Marshal Pupovich, I hereby denounce myself for this act of inadvertant treachery. I ask that my punishment not be too harsh, as I learn to put aside my old kapitalist habits in favor of adopting kollectivist methods. Additionaly, I offer up a week's worth of beet rations as a token of my guilt (which, if you were a member of the proletariat, you would know produces a bright red mess rather than a brown one in your Guvs™).

 

 

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Konservative_Punk wrote:
Why is there "Company" in your graphic? The Kollektive™ kollektively owns all methods of production. Companies are not collectively owned. Therefore, you must not be part of The Kollektive™, are a spy who somehow got into The Kollektive™, or are a traitor. Either that, or you found that graphic in the rear portion of your latest pair of Guvs after you were done making a brown mess in them, took a photo of it, and put it on here.

Comrade, I have my eye on you.
I think it goes without saying that we have not yet reached the Glorious World of Next Tuesday™. Although I have eagerly attended the kollektivist meetings behind traktor shed no. 2, I still have much to learn. We are still yet in a transitional phase toward that Utiopian Society that we all seek, and I have admttedly fallen short. Therefore, in the self-corrective spirit shown by party faithful such as the late Marshal Pupovich, I hereby denounce myself for this act of inadvertant treachery. I ask that my punishment not be too harsh, as I learn to put aside my old kapitalist habits in favor of adopting kollectivist methods. Additionaly, I offer up a week's worth of beet rations as a token of my guilt (which, if you were a member of the proletariat, you would know produces a bright red mess rather than a brown one in your Guvs™).
I am appalled at all this coprophobia, and I denounce both of you for such wrongthinking hate speech.

 

 

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RedDiaperette wrote: I am appalled at all this coprophobia, and I denounce both of you for such wrongthinking hate speech.

Denounce? Let me ask you, why do you know the word "coprophobia"? You very well know that such words were phased out in the first of the great purges of language that stepped us closer to newspeak. Also, why is it "hate speech"? I asked Comrade Punk a question, and I was prepared to denounce him, but he realized his ways and denounced himself! Also, he spoke the truth that we are not quite yet at the Glorious World of Next Tuesday™! This Comrade, he attended many of the kollektivists meeting out behind shed 2, he realizes many of the Great Party Truths are still in a constructive phase and aren't quite fully implemented, and yet, he knew that he made a grave mistake and is so loyal to the Party that he denounced himself and even offered a week of beet rations as repayment. And I, who asked him a simple question on why he didn't stay true to Party ideals and that I was watching him for signs of KKKapitali$t re-indoctrination, you denounce me? You denounce a fellow Comrade in the struggle who is willing to watch others for KKKapitali$tic tendencies even after many hours of Glorious Labor in the fields and factories? You sicken me. I simply cannot believe that you are committed to Party ideals, I don't even think you were a member of the Party in the first place. You must be a traitor! You have failed to recognized the Party Truths in all forms, not just the official handbook. Comrade Punk has spoken the truth found in the handbook, but you haven't accepted it and even denounced him! Therefore, I counter-denounce you, and I will be keeping an eye on you now.

 

 

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And I counter-counter-denounce for obvious speciesism.

 

 

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I thank you both for your compassion. I think that we should put aside our differences here and Move Forward!™ with the knowledge that we each have the interest of The People™ at heart. I freely admit that I committed an inadvertant act of treachery for which I am willing to pay penance for. Let us be reminded that we are strong as a Kollective™. Such petty disputes are not good for the image of The Party™. We should all remember that we are all being watched at all times by one another, to ensure that none of us falls into our old habits. It is a kindness that only a kollektive can produce, to ensure the proper thinking is shared among us all. Addendum: Please insert the word "Ko-operative" in place of the kapitalist term "Company".

 

 

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Comrades, comrades!. Why all this bitterness?

Have you all forgotten that "company" is merely a euphemism for government controlled, regulated and taxed entity and tool of propaganda education for the masses. Through companies and corporations, we teach The People™ to be compliant Citizens™, whilst educating them to accept rates of taxation we could not otherwise convince them is beneficial for the Greater Good™.

Until the World of Next Tuesday arrives, The Party will continue to extort encourage large campaign donations, from "companies", to ensure continuity of economic prosperity for those who are friendly to Party™ policies. In return, all competition is regulated into compliance or out of existence and, when Next Tuesday™ arrives, we will follow the model of General Motors. Companies will build the products The Party™ approves.

"Companies" are a necessary vehicle of Hope and Change.

Remember, it doesn't matter what The Current Truth™ is. It matters how The Current Truth™ is packaged.

 

 


 


 


 
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