Image

FD Obama addresses Congress after attack on Pearl Harbor

User avatar
[img]/images/FDR_Obama_Speech_Pearl_Harbor.jpg[/img]

Yesterday, December 7, 1941 - a date which will live on in our memories with hashtags, awareness ribbons, and candlelight vigils - America was attacked. While we haven’t yet ruled out the naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan, we must be careful not to jump to hasty conclusions for what might have been an act of workplace violence.

The United States was at peace with Japan and, at the solicitation of its government, we were still in conversation about the maintenance of peace in the Pacific. Indeed, one hour after Japanese air squadrons had commenced bombing in Oahu, the Japanese Ambassador to the United States and his colleague were negotiating a performance of James Taylor's You've Got a Friend with Secretary of State Kerry. While this may appear suspicious, we must not blame the entire Japanese Empire for the actions of a few.

It will be recorded that the distance of Hawaii from Japan makes it obvious that the attack was likely the result of a few disgruntled employees, maybe even the Emperor’s wife suffering from post-partum depression. Therefore, I urge patience and understanding.

The attack yesterday on the Hawaiian Islands has caused severe damage to American naval and military forces. Very many American lives have been lost. In addition American ships have been reported torpedoed on the high seas between San Francisco and Honolulu. No doubt these attacks were carried out by lone wolves who have hijacked the noble religion of Shinto which, we must remember, built the very fabric of our nation.

Yesterday the Japanese Government also launched an attack against Malaya. Last night Japanese forces attacked Hong Kong. Last night Japanese forces attacked Guam. Last night Japanese forces attacked the Philippine Islands. Last night the Japanese attacked Wake Island. This morning the Japanese attacked Midway Island. However, the fact remains that most Japanese are moderate and peaceful.

Japan has, in the minds of a few intolerant Asiaphobes, undertaken a surprise offensive extending throughout the Pacific area. The facts of yesterday speak for themselves, they say. The people of the United States have already formed their opinions and well understand the implications to the very life and safety of anyone who dares to engage in anti-Japanese rhetoric that edges toward violence.

As Commander-in-Chief of the Army and Navy, I have directed that all measures be taken for the immediate reduction of our military forces, especially our navy. Like I’ve said since since the invasions of Poland and France, every time something like this happens, these sort of military actions just don’t happen in other countries. I think it’s time to reconsider the Kellogg-Briand Pact which made war illegal, and to rethink the Washington Naval Treaty. If we could take combat vessels off of the high seas, events like these wouldn’t happen. We could make the oceans safer for our children.

Always will we remember that this would never have happened if America hadn’t acted arrogantly during the Spanish-American War by seizing overseas territories. No matter how long it may take us to overcome our own bigotry, the American people will reflect and support common sense arms reductions.

I believe I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only decommission all of our naval assets, but make sure we never again threaten other countries with a military that air raids villages and kills civilians.

Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory and our interests are primarily responsible. In the meantime, I don’t want to hear any nonsense about “America leading” or “America winning”.

With confidence in our policy of tolerance - with the unbounded determination of our people - we will lead from behind - so help us, uh, I'll come back to that.

Given that the provoked and understandable attack by Japan was caused by a despicable video on YouTube, I ask that the Congress declare that the future must not belong to those who insult the Emperor of Japan and the peace-loving religion of Shinto.

 

 

User avatar
You forgot to add that the attack was caused by Global Warming. And George Bush.

 

 

User avatar
Curiously enough, I made this image four days ago based on an idea sent to me by the Kook, but I forgot to post it because there has been such a great crop of other great stories that needed to be edited and illustrated. Now, instead of starting a topic with it, I'll post it as a comment here, and then I'm going to use the same picture to illustrate the main story above.

[img]/images/FDR_Speech_Pearl_Harbor_Carbon.jpg[/img]

 

 

User avatar
The Crisis, December 1776, by Thomas Paine

THESE are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods; and it would be strange indeed if so celestial an article as FREEDOM should not be highly rated. Britain, with an army to enforce her tyranny, has declared that she has a right (not only to TAX) but "to BIND us in ALL CASES WHATSOEVER" and if being bound in that manner, is not slavery, then is there not such a thing as slavery upon earth. Even the expression is impious; for so unlimited a power can belong only to God.

December, 2015

The Non-Crisis, by Barack Obama

THESE are the times that provoke Republican intolerance. The summer soldier and the Tea Party Patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the open-mindedness and open borders of their country; but he that stands by progressivism and pacifism now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman and the LGBTQ.

The NRA and right wing extremism, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the louder we yell, the more noise we make. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is central planning only that gives every thing its value. Safe Zones know how to put a proper price upon free speech; and it would be strange indeed if so celestial an article as FREEDOM should not be highly regulated.

ISIS, with a jayvee army to enforce its man made disasters, has declared that it has a right (not only to KILL) but "to BEHEAD us in ALL CASES WHATSOEVER" and if being bound in that manner, is not the cause of our racist policies, then is there not such a thing as racist policy upon earth. Even the expression is impious; for so unlimited a power can belong only to Government.

 

 

User avatar
Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:You forgot to add that the attack was caused by Global Warming. And George Bush.
If I remember my history correctly, Comrade Mikhail, I believe that was first brought up at the Casablanca Climate Change Summit. That's where the Big Three determined that climate change was the greatest threat facing the Allied nations, and that George W Bush was clearly at fault. Since the invasions of Nanking, Ethiopia, and Poland were all caused by climate change, it was also decided that they would demand unconditional carbon reparations from the US.

 

 


 

User avatar
Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:You forgot to add that the attack was caused by Global Warming. And George Bush.
Also forgot the obligatory "God bless you" at the end, with Serious Gaze, suppressed giggle, and fingers crossed behind the back.

 

 

User avatar
Instant Kube klassik and Mother Page adornment!

ImageImageImage

 

 

User avatar
Beet vodka for all! My tractor farm, this evening. Equal distributions for the People™, more equal distributions for the Party™.

 

 

User avatar
DAMN! A triple award post? I have not seen such inequality or favoritism since I was just a young beet sprout.

This injustice will require a glorious celebration (that does NOT require my ration card) to placate me, or an investigation will be in order!

Comrades, we deserve the best justice that al-Blogunov and his other people's money (not mine) can buy!

<off>

Once again, I do wish I'd thought this one up myself... Nice work!

<on>

FLOORWARD!

 

 

Two weeks ago, December 7, 1941, a day that will live in my own personal recollection as one of the most distressing since I become the first African American to be elected president of this great country, a man caused disaster occurred at our army base at Pearl Harbor -- on the island of Guam

There are those who claim that the reddish, circular insignias on the alleged attacking warplanes clearly indicate that these planes belonged to the Republic of Japan. They also maintain that the distance from Hawaii to Japan make it obvious that this attack was planned weeks in advance. These are the ones who would add their voices to the ones tat are clamoring for an immediate genocidal assault on the Japanese Home islands

Meanwhile, others say that the damage done to our military forces at Pearl harbor, coupled with the regrettable loss of lives of our brave men and women of all races, creeds and gender orientations, to include those of Sino-American heritage, has been so great that an immediate unconditional surrender must be negotiated. As the first African American Commander in Chief of a military that still discriminates against placing Negroes in combat roles, I reject both extremes and call for a new direction

As the first African American Commander in Chief in our nation's racially poisoned history, I have directed that all measures be taken for an immediate stand down of all our Armed Forces so that immediate bilateral talks can be instituted between myself and the President of Japan

No matter how long it may take for me to overcome the understandable bitterness felt by the Japanese people concerning 100 years of American imperialist disruption in their delicately balanced Shintoist way of life, I will apologize through to absolute reconciliation

I believe i interpret the will of the American people when I assert that not only will we understand the Japanese to the uttermost, we will make certain that we will never be the cause of further misunderstandings ever again.

Bigotries exist. There can be no blinking at the fact that our people have already committed innumerable acts of verbal harrassment and even physical violence against Americans of Japanese ancestry, particularly on the West Coast. Moreover, we now hear of a story from the town of Black Rock, Arizona that a Japanese farmer named Komoko was burned alive in a horrific act of bigotry. Always will our whole nation remember the character of this backlash.

With confidence in our court system, with the unbounding determination of our Attorney General, we will gain the inevitable convictions -- so help me

I ask then that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attacks of American racists responding to December 7, 1941, a state of martial law has existed between the States of the Pacific Coast and the State of Arizona

 

 

User avatar
Red Square wrote:Instant Kube klassik and Mother Page adornment!

ImageImageImage

Komrade Direktor, I see you have awarded Komrade Al-Blogunov the pre-revolutionary, Tsarist-era "Kerry" medal. Does this mean you intend to bring back the "Kommunists for Kerry" organization and perhaps refurbish it as "Money-Haters for Hillary" or "Bullshitters for Bernie"?

 

 

User avatar
.
Komissar al-Blogunov we need directions to your tractor farm!

My sister Will (short for Willow) and I would like to party with you guys!

The only other guy I know with even one medal is Ivan the Stakhanovets and it's a medal plate in his head!

(BTW - we are cuter in person...)
.

Image

 

 

User avatar
Only a few hours later American Thinker published a similar Franklin D. Obama speech:

FDR's Pearl Harbor Infamy speech, as Obama would deliver it today

Yesterday December 7, 1941, a date which will live in infamy long be remembered, the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately tragically attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan some folks from the EOJ. We are conducting a criminal investigation as I speak, and the findings will be released in our Twitter feed.

I would caution others not to rush to any judgment. We should not jump to any conclusions about this alleged criminal act. Above all, I want to be perfectly clear that it is important that we not demonize these folks – that’s just not who we are!

 

 

User avatar
Proof that American Thinker gets their information here first. Just like the Onion, Duffelblog, and MSNBC.

 

 

User avatar
and it would be strange indeed if so celestial an article as FREEDOM should not be highly regulated.

It is long overdue for our benevolent Soviet government to issue to all proletarians a "Freedom Ration Card". Don't leave home without it, comrades!

 

 

I must tell you, Comrades, that I attempted to submit my own take on Barracklyn Husseino Obamvelt's Pearl Harbor speech last year at this time. It was actually about twice as long as the rump speech I just submitted in the comments

Amusingly to say, I had innumerable problems typing the text, probably because I was using an underpowered computer. So it took me about two hours to finish and when i pushed submit ... it disappeared!! *(EOL) To make matters even more amusing, the whole effort gave me some back pain, which prevented me from trying again! *(EOFL)

I told this story to a sympathetic Komradina who consoled me with "That must have been disappointing." To which I quipped, "Yes, you could call it disappointing .. in exactly the same way that Ray Babbit's first attempt to toast waffles in the movie "Rain Man" could be described as .... disappointing." I felt so ....... disappointed.

But of course, it is clearly for the best as circumstances this year afforded us a far, far better opportunity yet to compare The Leader's soaring rhetoric to the ever so pedestrian and bigoted ramblings of FDR

*(EOL -- equality of laughter; EOFL -- Equal Opportunity For Laughter)

 

 

User avatar
Callmelennie wrote:I must tell you, Comrades, that I attempted to submit my own take on Barracklyn Husseino Obamvelt's Pearl Harbor speech last year at this time. It was actually about twice as long as the rump speech I just submitted in the comments

Amusingly to say, I had innumerable problems typing the text, probably because I was using an underpowered computer. So it took me about two hours to finish and when i pushed submit ... it disappeared!! *(EOL) To make matters even more amusing, the whole effort gave me some back pain, which prevented me from trying again! *(EOFL)

I told this story to a sympathetic Komradina who consoled me with "That must have been disappointing." To which I quipped, "Yes, you could call it disappointing .. in exactly the same way that Ray Babbit's first attempt to toast waffles in the movie "Rain Man" could be described as .... disappointing." I felt so ....... disappointed.

But of course, it is clearly for the best as circumstances this year afforded us a far, far better opportunity yet to compare The Leader's soaring rhetoric to the ever so pedestrian and bigoted ramblings of FDR

*(EOL -- equality of laughter; EOFL -- Equal Opportunity For Laughter)
EOL! I thought FDR could stand some improvement from a gifted rhetorician.

 

 


 

(Prog Mostly Off -- I attempted this same parody in 2009, with the Ft Hood attack being a recent event. Recall that Obama dithered for three minutes speaking about a minor Dept of Interior conference concerning Native Americans before switching -- in mid-sentence -- to speaking about The Ft Hood incident. And lest we forget -- the shoutout to .. "Congressional MOH winner Joe Medicine Crow" who, in fact, had not received the MOH. So without further adieu ....)

Mr Vice President, Mr Speaker, members of the Senate and House of Representatives

Let me begin by thanking The Bureau of Indian Affairs for organizing just an outstanding conference regarding implementation of my executive order 8802, prohibiting racial discrimination in the defense industry and its specific application to the purchase of blankets from Native American vendors in the Southwest. I heard Jim Thorpe was around so I just wanted to give an "Attaboy" to that Heisman award winning third baseman. Good to see ya

My understanding is there had been an extremely productive conference. And I want to give all the Native American attendees my solemn guarantee that this not the end of the process. We will follow up all the way down the line so that all American soldiers, sailors and marines no matter what race, color or creed can benefit from your exquisite blanket weaving skills.

Now I have to say that I had planned to make some broader remarks about the particular challenges that lay ahead for gay and transgendered Native American blanket weavers, especially from the Hopi and Pima Indian nations, but, as some of you may know, two weeks ago -- December 7, 1941 -- a date that will persist in my own personal recollection as one of the most distressing since I was elected the first African American president of this great nation, a man caused disaster occurred at our Army base at Pearl Harbor -- on the island of Guam

 

 

User avatar
Callmelennie, it's all important to know how Isoruko Yamamoto and Mitsuo Fuchida had become radicalized. Yamamoto went to Harvard. What was it about our culture that sent him over the edge? Why did they hate us? Was it something we said?

 

 

Still mulling your all important query over, Comrade Al Blogunov, but in the meantime ......

As we endure the endless, mind-numbing hatespeak of the badthinking ungoodwhites in their never-ending, rage-fueled quest suppress the electoral aspirations of the melanin enriched inhabitants of our vibrant central cities .... let us once again take inspiration from the words of The One who rallied the nation to confront the ultra-jingoistic cries for vengeance that followed Japans all too justified raid on our forward base of aggression at Pearl Harbor

 

 

User avatar
Indeed, this is a date that will live in Infamy, which is a small village of Bitter Clingers. In all other places, the date appears to be defunct.*

* And thus may be useful after all, for casting ballots.

 

 


 
POST REPLY