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Cow Farts, Our Next Big Crisis

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Comrades, while viewing the Fox News website (just to keep an eye on our enemy of course), I ran across this story.

Apparently the farts from cows in the USSA are creating more methane than previously thought. Dear Leader must divert his attention from less important matters like Obamacare, Iran, Benghazi, Fast N Furious, etc. to put a stop to this immediately!

I say he give the sex toy industry millions billions trillions of dollars to produce enough butt plugs to put a stop to this environmental disaster.

Big methane burp: Cow farts a greater problem than EPA previously thought, study says


 

 

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You did well to sniff this problem out, comrade.

 

 

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Steps are being taken to address the problem cows

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Methane from cows is better for you than methane from fracking <spit> because it comes from a natural source. Take the millions of gallons of raw sewage the city of Milwaukee dumps into Lake Michigan every year. This pales in comparison to the minute amount of coal ash the last coal fired vessel on the Great Lakes (GL Carferry, SS Badger) dumps in the lake in any given season.

 

 


 


 

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In the interests of Party efficiency couldn't these emissions be collected and then released into the vans transporting kulaks to reeducation camps? Waste not, want not.

 

 

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EPA farts a greater problem than cows previously thought, study says

The United States is spewing 50 percent more methane — a potent heat-trapping gas — than previously thought, a new study says. Most of it is coming from the federal government in Washington, D.C.

Much of that extra methane, also called natural gas, seems to be coming from the EPA offices, including manure, belches, and flatulence, caused by abundant taxpayer-funded lunches, dinners, and breakfasts compliant with Michelle Obama's recommended arugula diet.

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Bovine community outraged by flatulence coming from Washington DC.

 

 

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Dear Leader exhibits methane-powered flight to amazed onlookers!

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This crisis will "blow over" soon enough. Nothing to see here. Move along.

 

 


 

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I knew it! Cows are seekrit tea-baggers! Fire up the grills Comrades, its time for some steak.

 

 

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It is important comrades that we all stand in line to receive daily rations from the great leader. Meat is poison. Rice is the peoples proper food. I will work harder.

 

 


 

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Subvet wrote:In the interests of Party efficiency couldn't these emissions be collected and then released into the vans transporting kulaks to reeducation camps? [highlight=#ffff00]Waste not, want not. [/highlight]
Truly? I have always been taught that waste is good because it justifies increased budget for next year. "Use it or lose it" was our motto.

 

 

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The debate is over, the threat is real. We will direct responsible agencies to produce regulations and include them in the five year plan. It is difficult for folks out there, but we are here to help. Change is coming.

 

 


 
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