Civil War museum closed, Confederate artifacts burned

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HARRISBURG, PA - On the heels of the Confederate flag controversy, the City Council of Harrisburg voted to permanently close the doors of the Civil War Museum last week.

This decision resulted in hiring a small workforce tasked with packing the delicate artifacts that have been held inside its walls for decades. The new temporary hires, however, were infiltrated by a group of activists disguised as workers, who took it upon themselves to destroy what they called "shrines to racism, bigotry, and hate." Without authorization, nor the real work crew's knowledge, they collected various Confederate artifacts and burned them behind the building, out of sight of the museum staff.

Some of the destroyed historical artifacts were original confederate uniforms, rifles, equipment, flags, and swords. After the anti-Confederate activists burned all of the items they were able to carry outside quickly, they walked away, abandoning the site and leaving a smoldering pile of ashes with the remains of swords, muskets, and metal buttons for horrified museum staff to discover.

The perpetrators, who took careful measures to conceal their identities, later sent an email to the museum director, claiming that thanks to their "righteous" effort "white racists" will have one less "depraved" memorial where they can "worship the ignorance of those whom history should completely forget." The email also stated that "to continue to allow the existence of the last few physical remnants of the Confederate States of America is an appalling failure of social morality."

One of the burned uniforms belonged to Confederate soldier Sgt. Isiah Woodland of the 33rd Virginia Infantry Regiment. It was on loan to the museum by the Woodland family and was scheduled to be returned the following day. James Woodland, the great-great-great-grandson of Sgt. Woodland, gave a tearful statement to reporters who visited him the following day.

"I can remember going to that museum every summer growing up, looking at my great-grandfather's uniform behind that glass case. He wore that at the First Battle of Bull Run under command of General Stonewall Jackson. I was always proud of my family's history. I wanted to share my childhood experiences of seeing this uniform with my own children when they are old enough to understand. It is not only my family's history that is being erased, but our country's history as well. It is all the worse that these acts are done by belligerently thoughtless people."

The Director of the Museum, Dr. Robert Mumford, said in a Facebook post from the museum's page, "The destruction of Confederate artifacts by political activists is startlingly close to the actions of ISIS, who are destroying historical sites in their part of the world. An attempt to erase history that you find offensive, with these kinds of methods, is the epitome of ignorance. It serves no other purpose than to rob our future generations, not only of their national treasures, but of their historical memory."



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If Shelby Foote was still alive, he'd be apoplectic. Instead, he's just spinning in his grave.



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There is no history. There is only Next Tuesday!



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Harrisburg mayor hopes to dissolve National Civil War Museum

HARRISBURG, Pa. (AP) — Harrisburg Mayor Eric Papenfuse said the city's National Civil War Museum is "a monument to corruption" that should be shut down in the wake of a long list of criminal charges filed against the former mayor who was the moving force behind it.

Former Mayor Stephen Reed, a Democrat who served for 28 years until he was forced out in 2010 by an election defeat, faces hundreds of counts of theft and misapplication of property as well as criminal solicitation, bribery and tampering with evidence. He has said he will fight the charges.



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This just in - an email from the CEO of the Harrisburg Civil War Museum. We're not making this up!

Dear Sirs,
We have noted the article posted on your website at the link below which names this museum is completely false. We request the article be removed from your website. Thank you. ... 16684.html

Wayne Motts
The National Civil War Museum
1 Lincoln Circle @ Reservoir Park
Harrisburg, PA 17103

717-635-2075 (Direct Line)
717-260-1861 (Main Number)
717-260-9599 (Fax)



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"...Hold it men, he's not bluffing...."


He may follow up with a sternly-worded memo telling us how he feels.

I'm going to get prepared and sample what's been fermenting in tractor barn #2 all week.



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It may be high time we erase American history altogether. America has much more than its fair share of inventions and contributions to society. It simply isn't fair that one nation should have so many Nobel prizes and patents. As our esteemed Lady Moochelle once said, "we have to change our history." We can say that the television was invented in Africa by a tribe of cannibals, the assembly line factory by middle-eastern goat-herders, and organ transplants by Aborigines down under. The internet was, of course, Al Gore's invention, but America's only major contributions were the instruments of war.



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Red Square wrote:This just in - an email from the CEO of the Harrisburg Civil War Museum. We're not making this up!

Great Stalin's mustache! Did they really just use a sexist label in the opening of their email? "Sirs"... really?



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Chedoh wrote:
Red Square wrote:This just in - an email from the CEO of the Harrisburg Civil War Museum. We're not making this up!

Great Stalin's mustache! Did they really just use a sexist label in the opening of their email? "Sirs"... really?
Now now comrade, there's no reason to use that kind of language. Apparently this museum curator didn't get the memo that The Party controls the Current Truth, as well as the past and future. It is obvious by his micro-aggressive comment that this man lacks sufficient sensitivity to be entrusted with the past, let alone the present or future.



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I just emailed this respectful response to the Museum CEO:

Dear Mr. Motts,

The People's Cube engages in political satire, spoofs, and parodies. This should be immediately obvious to anyone who visits our site, as evidenced by our fan mail.

The article you are referring to is also a spoof by one of our contributors, with an avatar that gives a clear clue as to the nature of his writing. To summarize, this satire exposes the irrational hatred of the South by certain poorly educated "progressive" activists whose thought patterns border on barbarism. You may have noticed that the article says nothing negative about your museum, which we believe is an honorable institution. In fact, our satire may well benefit your museum by creating a nation-wide awareness about its existence and encouraging more people to visit it while the museum is still standing.

Unfortunately, quite a few of our previous spoofs have become today's reality and the absurdities we once ridiculed are now the government's official ideology. The fact that some people thought this was a real news article should give everyone pause. No one would have believed it ten years ago, but now they do. Just think about that.

Thank you for visiting the People's Cube and we hope you and your staff will continue to do so on a regular basis.

Oleg Atbashian
aka Red Square
People's Director



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Wait! What?!!! Are you telling me that none of this is true? Then what have I been wasting all my time on this website for? If I wanted lies, I'd go to The Huffington Post, CNN, MSNBC, ABC, CBS, MSN, list is endless. I feel so violated.



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Snopes strikes again:

Destroyed ArtiFacts

See the screenshot below. They also reference the Museum's Facebook page debunking this story:

The National Civil War Museum

The National Civil War Museum wrote:It has come to our attention that someone has placed a story on the internet which purports that this museum is closed and that Confederate items and/or artifacts have been destroyed here. Rest assured everyone, the story is completely false. All is well here and our historical items are safe and sound.




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Has Chedoh scored the Snopes Hat-trick by hitting three in a row?

This may be a first, and our cheesy comrade may owe us all a celebratory ration of beet vodka.



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Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Has Chedoh scored the Snopes Hat-trick by hitting three in a row?

This may be a first, and our cheesy comrade may owe us all a celebratory ration of beet vodka.

3-in-a-row? This calls for a round of beet vodka, plus 3 cheers for Che-Doh!


Hip-Hip Huzzah!
Hip-Hip Huzzah!
Hip-Hip Huzzah!

Oleg, nice way of handling the museum's request. I'll have to make a point to go visit it before the "progress" of progressives "progresses" over it like a steamroller. I'm not that far from Gettysburg, either, closer than most in the US. At least the battlefields of the civil war will still stand, regardless of the gov'ts positions. And if they take away the info signs, at least the spirits and remains of the men who fought on those fields will serve as a sort of sign.

(Also, if this is really big text, I can't switch it back. It's size 2, the normal size, in the editor but big in the display)



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"Just another spoof"? They make it sound like this is a frequent thing! Those fascist pigs....

Lets see there was the ones about

Obama's dogs
Rosie O'Donnell
Miley Cyrus
The ISIS youth center
The one about Feinstein objecting to PTSD....

So that's six that I know of...

My credibility is being attacked from all sides!!!



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Good Lenin, five confirmed kills makes you a Snopes ACE

Do they still award the "Blue Max" for 8?





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Nathan Bedford Forrest to be exhumed: ... nsman.html

In related news: NASA offers to take the ashes of the former general into orbit to remove the source of all planetary racism and hate forevermore.



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NormB wrote:Nathan Bedford Forrest to be exhumed: ... nsman.html

In related news: NASA offers to take the ashes of the former general into orbit to remove the source of all planetary racism and hate forevermore.


What a shame. When you're buried, that IS your final resting place. Even if you go down with a ship, that ship is your grave. That's it, no more movement for you, the only movement you get is if the dirt moves from an earthquake or whatever. I never though that grave robbery would ever be made legal, but it seems that Progressives have made it legal, but only if they do it.

I mean, I can understand minimizing racism. Hell, I'm BEHIND it. But, the removal of some flags and exhumation of an important historical figure isn't going to stop it. That was the then and there, we're in the here and now. We need to find solutions that work on the here an now, not actions that affect the then and there. I regret that MLK was ever shot, if he was still living by this time he'd probably have things to say against this whole shakeup. But, instead of an upstanding, likeable, peaceful Christian man, we have such extreme, violent, corrupt Unchristian men as Sharpton. And the "solutions" are extreme, surly, and corrupt. We should have MLK's coming up with the solutions, but instead we have Malcolm X's.

I'd like to go into the Lenin mausoleum on Red Square and move his & Stalin's body to a car crusher. Let some of the "more progressive" progressives get a taste of their own medicine.

A cultural revolution has been brewing, and it seems that now the percolator's started to pour. I don't predict that we'll go full-Communist for a length of time, but it looks like now the frame's being built. Revisionism has always been in effect in textbooks, but now it's coming to the once-haven of the real world. I think that soon entire catalogues of books and artifacts will be destroyed in progressive fervor and the want of change. When that happens, may whatever benevolent gods that are out there help us.

The way I see it, we have 3 options: Restore the country, Go Communist, or fall like Rome. The first is nearly impossible, the second is seemingly starting, but I predict the third. lists these as causes of the fall of Rome. From what I know about the Fall, this is accurate:

  • Antagonism between the Senate and the Emperor
  • Decline in Morals
  • Political Corruption and the Praetorian Guard
  • Fast expansion of the Empire
  • Constant Wars and Heavy Military Spending
  • Barbarian Knowledge of Roman Military Tactics
  • Failing Economy
  • Unemployment of the Working Classes (The Plebs)
  • The 'Mob' and the cost of the 'Games'
  • Decline in Ethics and Values
  • Slave Labor
  • Natural Disasters
  • Christianity
  • Barbarian Invasion
Obama is essentially, with the many waves of executive orders passed, an emperor. The government (Senate) is already antagonistic with him, even some democrats are sick of him. This means number one is true of the American Empire.

Number two can be seen to be true by anybody with morals who watches even a single news program.

The Praetorian Guard is essentially the Roman Emperor's "secret service", and I believe that the Guard assassinated Nero after a vote in the Senate to throw him out. However, there is obvious Political corruption, so number 3 is partly true.

The American Empire may not be expanding the amount of land we have, but the government is constantly expanding the amount of responsibilities and things that the government is accountable for. Therefore, we are a quickly-expanding empire in the monetary sense.

Number 5 is obvious. We are essentially Oceana in 1984, always attacking Eastasia. Notice the name "Eastasia", and consider Christopher Columbus (And/or the Vikings if you count people before him) when reading the name "Oceania".

Barbarians weren't Roman citizens, and were fought off by Romans. The Barbarians could be modern-day ISIL for all intensive purposes. And with ISIL taking everything they want and slowly learning how to act like an Islamic "military", the barbarians are beginning to learn our tactics.

Pick up the paper. The Economy is, compared to the past, failing, and now the Euro is going down in value.

Pick it up again. Unemployment 47%. That number will grow with the failing economy and the recruitment of more democrats.

I don't know much about a Roman Mob but the Games I DO know about. They were essentially, to translate into modern terms, Government-sponsored Football. The "Circuses" half of "Bread and Circuses", a Roman stadium was known as a Circus. The government hasn't gotten so bad as to need to pacify us with circuses yet, but I DO think that some cities throw tax money at new stadiums and the upkeep of teams, so in some locales this may be true.

There has been a decline in ethics and values for a LONG time. It actually looks like it's going down faster every second.

"Slave Labor"'s a bit of an iffy one. You could, on one hand, consider hard jobs like millwork or welding combined with near-minimum wage pay slave labor. Then again, you could consider being attached to college debt all your life and having a lot of your pay taken from you to pay it off until a few years before retirement slave labor. Either way, it's iffy, and whether or not it's true is iffy.

There have been plenty of natural disasters. Look at that part of Orleans that never recovered from Hurricane Katrina. Given a bad enough disaster, that could be cities, regions, states, or even the entire country.

Replace "Christianity" with 'Radical Islam". In Roman times, Christianity was the new, hot religion, taking over the Paganism that had been practiced universally for thousands of years. Now, in America, Islam is the new, hot religion and is taking over the Christianity universally practiced for thousands of years.

Finally, the "Barbarian Invasion" goes back to ISIL and radical Islam. There are already roving gangs of Muslims in portions of London that practice vigilante justice according to Sharia law. With more Muslims coming or being converted here and some of them being inspired to be radical, that could very well happen in our cities and then the barbarians will have invaded.

We might go Communist, we might take back the country. But, my money is on falling like Rome for the reasons above.

"America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves." -Abraham Lincoln

"VOTE, n. The instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country." - Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary