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NBC Offers Correction on Astronaut Lance Armstrong

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We at NBC strive to earn our public's trust by being the most accurate and reliable news source. Since our regrettable error in reporting on "the death of astronaut Neil Young", we now publish a correction on the controversial career of one of America's greatest hall-of-famers, astronaut Lance Armstrong, who passed away over the weekend at age 82.

Armstrong rose to international stardom as the first astronaut to ride to the moon seven times. After the release of his hit song, Harvest Moon, suspicions arose over whether Mr. Armstrong had been "doping" on lunar missions, which entailed a NASA cover-up and ultimately the menacing shadow of George W Bush. Eventually, the US Anti-Doping Agency, or "antidopes" as they called themselves, began an unending series of investigations.

"Nobody believed a human being could jump that high in a space suit on the lunar surface without some kind of enhancement," stated a USADA representative. "Armstrong claimed it was only a small step, but it looked more like one giant leap to anybody who was watching."

The controversial astronaut had until midnight last Tuesday to respond, but he let the deadline pass without challenge. "As a result of his tacit admission of guilt, Mr. Armstrong's name will be removed from the lunar plaque of distinguished space workers bearing his signature," read the final decision by the USADA.

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"I think NASA acted stupidly," President Obama said at yesterday's rally in a mostly empty gymnasium. "The top one per cent of aerospace officials took their eye off the ball and neglected their primary mission of reaching out to Muslims. No wonder some space workers were doping on those space trips - I would too if I were an astronaut. I'm glad to see this painful chapter of American imperialism draw to a close."

Joe Biden echoed the president's statement by saying, "The proudest day of my life was when I telegraphed Houston and told them 'the Eagle has landed.'"

Representatives of Armstrong's family declined to comment.

 

 


 

InRe: NASA new mission. Live long and pound sand.
Back in '69 there was strong reaction from Capitalist rag Wall St. Journal after Mad Magazine published stating Kraft wanted monopoly of all cheese on the moon. Wisconsin Commissars threw hissy fit at Party Plenum that year. NASA then ordered astronauts to bring back nothing but rocks to protect dairy industry. So new mission is same as old mission without geological surveys.

 

 


 

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And as for Joe Biden's musical career, he should have just quit at Cinnamon Girl - southern man don't need him around anyhow.

 

 

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One small step for Neil Armstrong, one giant leap for Islam

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Comrades,
Celebrate with me that the Canadian Turnover, aka Brain Dead Brian, is still spreading his shovel ready news across American farmland.

Just catching the obvious errors would require a staff of over 25, which could be paid for by another stimulus.

The first two did not work, what better logic can be used for, as they say in Brooklyn, a toid stimi.

 

 


 


 

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El Presidente wrote:
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No... I didn't...
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I walked on the other side of it.

I was having lunch with Laika. He had to 'go' (sorry Glorious Hero Dog. We all do it, equally)... I admit to not scooping, but it's the dark side, so who's gonna see it... before they step in it?.... which they should consider an hounour! "I'm worthy to have Laika's sh*t on my space boots!" Hey, it's cheaper than those medals we hand out.

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I think we need to step back and think a minute here. WHo is more important: some dead white guy who stood on the moon, or the man who is so perfect that they gave him a nobel peace prize just for breaking wind?

 

 

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Komissar Blogunov wrote:We at NBC strive to earn our public's trust by being the most accurate and reliable news source. Since our regrettable error in reporting on "the death of astronaut Neil Young", we now publish a correction on the controversial career of one of America's greatest hall-of-famers, astronaut Lance Armstrong, who passed away over the weekend at age 82.

Representatives of Armstrong's family declined to comment.
In response, famous Musician Neil Armstrong, had this to say:

My my, hey hey
NBC has gone astray
It's better to turn off
Than to fade way
My my, hey hey.

Out of the blue
they're dishing pap
They tell you this,
but you know it's crap
And once you're gone,
you won't wanna come back
I was out in the blue
Now I've faded to black.

A man is gone
but he's not forgotten
This is a story
of the Misbegotten
It's better to blow out
than it is to crash
Some guy is gone
and his name's forgotten.

Hey hey, my my
NBC just rolls a die
There's more to their pictures
Cuz their words're lies.
Hey hey, my my

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"My God! It's full of stars!"
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"My Dog! He's right!"

 

 


 

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Oh, I thought it was astronaut Louis Armstrong that died at 82.

 

 

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Yeah... and Pearl Bailey's birthday is December 7th... I think...

 

 

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A hoy hoy.

T'was Vince Neil that walked on Mars to find that it's where men are from.

 

 

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but Comrades, recall that it was Lance LINK (or perhaps his uncle...) who first stood upright!

 

 


 
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