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Hamas® Intifada Baby Armor


 

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Commissar Maksim you have gone too far! This sounds strangely like you are attempting to Sell this item. You should have stated this is free to Glorious freedom fighters.

 

 

Comrades,

This is the result of superior engineering and design. Not only do you have vastly superior body armor but you have a constant supply of field rations for the brave freedom fighters of Islam, in the form of People's Tasty Creme™.

 

 

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Comrades, I question the positioning of the insert since the majority of heroic jihadists are shot in the back while fleeing.

 

 

Comrade Whoopie,

You bring up a valid point. Everyone knows that the Zionist's love to display their cowardice and shoot brave freedom fighters in the back. The insert in the front would only be used for the MSM sympathizers and the one in the back would be the primary body armor and a backup for rations.

 

 

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Commissar Maksim!

Since you've joined the Party ranks you've truly earned the right to be addressed as Superkommissar Maksim! Update your title accordingly.

 

 

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Excellent, comrade! Now that the glorious progressive democratic people's freedom fighters of Hamas can begin to make use of their ties to the proletariat on a more fundamentalist level, enabling them to more firmly tie their fate to that of Gaza as a whole! You should receive double vodka rations for this!

 

 

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Thank you Red Leader! Superkommissar is quite the heady title. It makes one think of corruption, torture, sex scandals, sweetheart loan deals, and tax evasion, so of course I will gladly accept.

 

 

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Maksim, incumbent with the title of Supercommissar is the ability to eat with Michael Moore as he sets out to further trash America. Be sure to eat first though; you'll be lucky to get an olive.

 

 

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Superkongrats, Maksim! I remember when you (or maybe it was Red Square) added the red hat to your avatar. Maybe you could add a red cape.

 

 

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Or should it be called Intifada Infant Armor?

 

 

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Maksim, incumbent with the title of Supercommissar is the ability to eat with Michael Moore as he sets out to further trash America. Be sure to eat first though; you'll be lucky to get an olive.

I thought that while dining with Comrade Moore one must remember the maxim (tee-hee!) "Eat or be eaten."

Oh, and here is a video I made of Comrade Moore in The People's Dining RoomTM. Study it, Superkommissar Maksim, as it will be of great use:

[flash=425,350][/flash]

Whatever else you remember, don't let Comrade Moore eat the after dinner-mint, however wafer-thin it might be.

"Oh, Maks! Really!"

 

 

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Superkongrats, Maksim! I remember when you (or maybe it was Red Square) added the red hat to your avatar. Maybe you could add a red cape.

And a red holster, carrying a model of the People's Morale Enforcertm, aka the Tula-Tokarev model 33, something no Ueberkommissar should be without.

 

 

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[html]Dr. Strangelove, as much meaning as I take from that slice of life, I fear that Mr. Moore is not quite of the quality to appreciate the truffles in jugged hare. When Mr. Moore goes out to say Shoney's, he doesn't eat at Shoney's. He eats Shoney's. The bricks are roughage and once a year, when he takes a dump, he gives us a new movie.

<i>Sicko</i> came from the time he did a fun run at a hospital cafeteria, and ate it.[/html]

 

 

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[html]
Commissar Theocritus wrote:Dr. Strangelove, as much meaning as I take from that slice of life, I fear that Mr. Moore is not quite of the quality to appreciate the truffles in jugged hare. When Mr. Moore goes out to say Shoney's, he doesn't eat at Shoney's. He eats Shoney's. The bricks are roughage and once a year, when he takes a dump, he gives us a new movie.

<i>Sicko</i> came from the time he did a fun run at a hospital cafeteria, and ate it.

Comrade Vlad, so Mr. Moore is kinda like Galactus, except not buff.
<br>Although, nobody said that he appreciates truffles in jugged hare, which is why he just ordered everything on the menu to be mixed in a bucket. While Comrade Moore today eats the whole restaurant, bricks and all, this film was taken during his younger years, when his appetite was relatively small.[/html]

 

 

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As Mr. Moore's fame has grown so has his appetite. As I have written elsewhere in these pages, a true progressive pisses on as much as possible. But Mr. Moore is a Progressive's Progressive, in that he can simultaneously piss, shit and projectile hurl on everything.

What a man. I doubt that Ingersoll Rand could make a machine with that much hydraulic pressure.

 

 

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Commissar, is there uh, a "fragrance" free model?

[Off]It's surprising how many people eat-up his propaganda, I just talked to someone who saw Sicko and bought the entire thing. People like that shouldn't have the right to vote[/off]

 

 

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[html][ off]I know <i>doctors</i> who bought it. But I am no respecter of doctors' sense. CPAs hold doctors in contempt. They say that a con man will offer to double a doctor's money in 90 days and a respectable man will offer him 15% after tax in a year. The doctor will invariably choose the con man, and lose it all. Modern medical schools require at least one business course. Also they tend to have a bad god complex, dispensing advice when people are so distracted that they cannot make good decisions.

My mother died a very grim death and it took years. There are no idiots in my family but we simply didn't hear a lot of the things that the doctors were saying because the the debilitation of the disease, the pain, all were made incarnate and we were paralyzed.

This is not to say that doctors are evil or bad or even unpleasant, but that their intelligence is generally a sort of tunnel vision.

England has its own Michael Moore, a revolting troll named John Pilger.

Wikipedia wrote:Auberon Waugh [Evelyn's son, who was before his early death a journalist] coined the verb "to pilger": "to present information in a sensationalist manner to reach a foregone conclusion".</br> Noam Chomsky has expressed the view that pilger and pilgerise were "invented by journalists furious about his incisive and courageous reporting, and knowing that the only response they are capable of is ridicule."

If Noam Chomsky likes these people you know they're evil.[/html]

 

 

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[Off]Sorry to hear it, I've seen too much of that, it's heartbreaking. Moore and his ilk run in packs and Chomsky-ites what can you say? All I know is that the government breaks everything it touches, it's the problem not the solution. Sure Cuba has a national healthcare system but then why did Papa Fidel go to Spain for treatment? Part of their tradecraft, Moore, et al, is to make bold statements, answer no questions from critics and to accuse those critics of trying to silence you. James Hansen, Al Gore, Hillary Clinton they all play the same game.[/Off]

 

 

Comrade Maksim ... awesome shopjob, but it's 'laminated' not 'lamented' :)

 

 

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[html][off]Cuba has three levels of health care. First for the higher up in the party and the artists. Second for the tourists who pay. Third for everyone else, and they have to reuse latex gloves. A bar of soap will, I'm told, get you a night with a woman.

But Cuba has twice the doctor-patient ratio of Canada, according to Mark Steyn, a Canadian living in New Hampshire. About 20 years some Canadian liberal had skin cancer and he went to Mayo.

There are, or were, again according to Steyn, private MRI machines in Canada where you could pay to get an MRI in time to do you good. The liberals wanted to shut them down as not being fair to those who couldn't pay.

I rejoice with Sister in her excellent health care but I suspect that she has been very lucky, and as smart as she is she'll figure a way to get it done. I have a friend, Ryan, who lived in Canada for a while, playing baseball there, and his opinion cannot be repeated.

Now: which is worse? Not having the abilities or having the abilities and shutting them down?

Some wag in <i>The Spectator</i> made the point that if you wanted to make sure that an animal didn't go extinct, put it on the menu. If you want to make sure that there is good medicine, put it on the menu, that is, let it make a profit.[/html]

 

 

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Intellectual Conservative wrote:Comrade Maksim ... awesome shopjob, but it's 'laminated' not 'lamented' :)

Thanks! correction made.

BTW: Are you this Intellectual Conservative?

 

 

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Citizen's

This baby is going to look GOOD hurling stones at those infidels! Just imagine swarms of similiarly attired targets, er........ "martyrs" attacking those crusaders!



Publius

 

 

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You see how noble Hamas is, unlike the IDF? Hamas is willing to sacrifice citizens for their noble target, while IDF simply attacks from the air. Hamas are brave, peaceful and noble. I can't wait till this armor will be sold to Hezbollah and Taliban too.

 

 

I have detected a design flaw. In the photo, the infant is clearly crying. This is not acceptable; a pacifier should be inserted to ensure stealth. Also, the pacifier could be rigged to act much as a pin on a grenade; in an emergency (for example, should the mission need to be aborted), just pull the plug and KABOOM! Mission accomplished!

 

 

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[html]
Dr. Strangelove wrote:
Commissar Theocritus wrote:Dr. Strangelove, as much meaning as I take from that slice of life, I fear that Mr. Moore is not quite of the quality to appreciate the truffles in jugged hare. When Mr. Moore goes out to say Shoney's, he doesn't eat at Shoney's. He eats Shoney's. The bricks are roughage and once a year, when he takes a dump, he gives us a new movie.

<i>Sicko</i> came from the time he did a fun run at a hospital cafeteria, and ate it.

Comrade Vlad, so Mr. Moore is kinda like Galactus, except not buff.
<br>Although, nobody said that he appreciates truffles in jugged hare, which is why he just ordered everything on the menu to be mixed in a bucket. While Comrade Moore today eats the whole restaurant, bricks and all, this film was taken during his younger years, when his appetite was relatively small.

Dr Stranglove,

Chef Edna is good, very good, and indeed a Progressive Chef! This recipe is magnifique! I shall add it to the menu for Lucretia's, at once. Nice to know that I'm not alone...oops!...I forgot Chef Idi Amin...in my toils for the Party appetites.....But, seriously, cooking for Comrade Moore takes sooo much time, that I have to treat him differently; that is plan accordingly, for an extra large banquet! LOL

My most hearty congratulations to our newest SuperUber Commissar Maksim! Booyea![/html]

 

 

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Smooth as Satinov wrote:I have detected a design flaw. In the photo, the infant is clearly crying. This is not acceptable; a pacifier should be inserted to ensure stealth. Also, the pacifier could be rigged to act much as a pin on a grenade; in an emergency (for example, should the mission need to be aborted), just pull the plug and KABOOM! Mission accomplished!



He's crying because an IDF soldier is in front of him.

 

 

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Che, when cooking for Michael Moore, do you need to conform to your high standards? I'd think that a bale of hay with ketchup on it might suffice. After all, he is a ruminant, isn't he? It would be a waste of your culinary skills even to steel your finest, or worst knife: merely get some wire cutters and cut the baling wire, break the bale apart, and anoint with ketchup. Heinz not required. Even Del Monte would be unnoticed.

I know this will serve because Moore will eat anything whatsoever. And I rather want to see him turn hay into the next Progressive rant which so completely distorts reality. Gotta love that man.

SJ, do you think that the IDF is doing its job right? What if their flak jackets are not sufficient to entirely stop bullets? It would be an unparalleled disaster if babies and women made into cannon fodder by Hamas were actually harmed. The world would not have it. The Europeans would be aghast, which allows them something to occupy their minds as French women, although not Muslim, veil themselves, as Muslim quartiers are declared off-limits to the police, as Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of Canterbury, says that Sharia law would be fine in Britain.

Let's always make room for the hand amputations, the female genital mutilations, and the honor killings. For as Progressives we need to understand that.

 

 

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Theocritus: I didn't understand. Are you feeling sorry for these babies? If you do, it's great. It's how Hamas manipulates us. The pain was caused by an IDF'er, because he shot the bullet. It's ok if women and kids get harmed-just blame it on Israel and the Zionists.

I think using girls as walls to shoot from behind them is a great idea too. As long as it's commited by Progressive(tm) Hamas and not Zionists.

 

 

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[html]Of course, SJ. Here's how it works. Israel is evil because Israel defends itself. Israel is evil because it is the only democracy. And to wannabe totalitarians that's just evil.

Israel is evil because of its intellectual accomplishments.

Hamas is good <i>because it's not Israel</i>. What it does doesn't matter because it's not Israel.

If it does something evil, Israel made it do it because Israel has educated, advanced people who live in a Democracy.

Get it? Jeez. There are times I despair of educating young Progressives. Rule number one for a Progressive: <i>Actions don't have consequences.</i>

Rule number two for a progressive: <i>A politically correct lie beats the truth any day.</i>[/html]

 

 

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Sorry for tiring you, Comrade Theocritus. Now everything is much more clear to me. You inspire me to re-educate more people around me.

By the way, here's a nice thing:
Education is wrong (PROOF: Israel). Evolution is wrong (PROOF: Computers).
Add the "R" of the Red(tm) and everything is well!
Re-Education is good (PROOF: This site). Revolution is good (PROOF: Communism).

 

 

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Publius Valerius wrote:Citizen's

This baby is going to look GOOD hurling stones at those infidels!


Publius


Or hurling the baby formula it just guzzled down at those Zionist oppressors!

--
ZB

 

 

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I was just thinking...what if the baby was a rich white baby? Would the media still be involved in any coverage of the story? I'm sure if that was the case the family of the baby would have to be republicans, and they sold the baby to the freedom fighters so they could invest the money in some sort of retirement fund, instead of HOPING for the CHANGE the government would provide for them. But the baby had the chance to die for Allah if not for the Obomessiah.

 

 

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Comrades,

Propaganda does a body (and mind) good. Why, I recall the good old days before Amazon when Japanese booksellers could sell foreign language books and periodicals for roughly four times their US price. Then came shipping from Amazon. Then came Amazon.co.jp.

In a last ditch attempt to save itself in 2001, a Maruzen bookstore I used to hit for the bargain bin filled almost all its English book space for Noam Chomsky books at the old quadruple price. Yet they went out of business anyway! Who knew the vast right-wing conspiracy could reach across the Pacific, with enough hate to target an individual store of a national chain?

Regarding Canadian health care, Free Market Care has some videos about Canadians turning elsewhere for their care because they can't wait: Two Women, Brain Surgery, and The Lemon. There's also one about uninsured Americans who choose to be uninsured for reasons good and bad.

 

 

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I'm in the biz, one of my reps is from the Great White North. Her father had an embolizism of some sort in his stomach (sketchy here it's been 8 years since she told me the story), the wait for surgery was over 8 weeks. He came down here for the surgery. I just submitted an app to the state risk pool for someone who was healthy until recently. He didn't think he needed insurance until he saw the hospital bill. There's a link I have at the office to a group that has studied Canada's system, it produced a report that was quite eye opening. Not something you would see on TV or in the NYT.

 

 

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We shall not be told of the Canadian or other socialized systems because the powers that want us to emulate will have their own health care. They do not realize that without a profit motive medical research stops, or what there is will be politically directed.

The Europeans ration health care--I believe that if you're over 65 and Dutch you don't get heart surgery Their minister of health, whom I saw, said, "Our expectations are not as high."

Die, old fogey, die.

 

 

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[html]Comrades,
HR 15, which "creates a nationalized system of free health care," has been proposed. I guess that means JifiLobo will be nationalized and used to create jobs. Why, training costs and time and minimal and icepicks aren't all that costly. Pretty soon nothing will bother me any more: so calm, so happy, so healthy (see below).
<br>As for the elderly, here's the UK's NHS' take on a recent BBC article ("Staying calm" prevents dementia) on Swedish research about how physical and social activity seem to delay or lessen dementia in those 70+. I read this a day or two back and am too lazy to read it again for the specifics. Perhaps this means I'll be issued with a People's Bong before I'm too far gone to recall how to operate it.

Icepickers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but others' brains!

Surely a comrade will correct me if I'm wrong but I guess "close" will now count in three fields: horseshoes, hand grenades, and free lobotomies. Count 'em while you still can![/html]

 

 

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At last! Socialized medicine! This means that comrades who haven't paid their Progressive Tax (as defined by contributions to me) get the same health care as ordinary proles. But Made Progressives get the good stuff, which is the stuff that all Americans get, er, right now!

What could be fairer than that? That is to me, which is all that counts.

Tovarich, I do wish that you had not let out that we were using garden-variety icepicks at JifiLobo. Our ads state that we use only the finest stainless-steel, surgical quality crystalladolabra made in Solingen, Germany. Instead of a 29c Wal-Mart ice-pick with a wooden handle made in Bangladesh.

We do, however, file the burrs off the tip.

 

 

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:We do, however, file the burrs off the tip.

But, Comrade Vlad, those burrs are so useful for latching onto and pulling out unnecessary grey matter! You mean, you leave all that scrambled grey material behind or is it mixed to the point of liquification and then drained from the sinus cavity? Or do you perhaps prefer using an Egyptian brain hook?

It would be a shame to waste it rather than sending buckets full of the stuff to Comrade 'Che' to be mixed into scrambled eggs and omelets for distribution to The People's Dining RoomTM. [Yes] We CanTM freeze-dry it for inclusion into field rations. [Yes] We CanTM also use it to fortify our stocks of Soylent Green (I always have to chuckle at our enviro-socialist friends who still think that it's made from soy).

 

 

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Dr. I see that I was inexact in my description. I think that a burred ice pick is just an insult. It hurts so much right at first. You know, small and slow at the first, and when the victim comrade loosens up and the rhythm gets going, you slip in a larger one. You know of course the suction device that your dentist has. As an esteemed comrade I'm sure that you are allotted a dentist, aren't you? After perhaps 20 or 30 jabs with a smooth ice pick (don't grunt too much for it might be mistaken) it's the work of a minute to insert the straightened-out suction hose and harvest the brain matter.

I have given thought however to giving it to Comrade Che but am worried. One of our female comradettes said that if you cut up a planarium worm each half will remember what the other half knew. This means that proles who are being treated at JifiLobo must have that nasty extra prefrontal gray matter treated so that the antisocial behaviors are not transmitted buccally.

I have tried ultrapasteurization--161 degrees for 15 seconds. It works for milk but not for reactionary ideas. Pasteurization? It's at a lower temperature but for a whole 30 minutes! I called the Holy Gore to asked his advice:

"Noble Gore, I have a problem that only you can solve. Like a good progressive I want to leave no print of human existence on Mother Gaia. How best to sterlize reactionary brain to make it edible by proles?"

And the Holy Gore paused and looked into the middle distance, and said, "Larry, 59 is the new 58!" and then put his head back up his ass with a sound like Gallagher hitting a watermelon with a sledge.

So I have no Gaia-friendly way to cleanse reactionary brains.

Which doesn't mean I won't suck them out.

 

 

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What if we just boil them in lye for a couple of weeks, extract, and then make brain gelatin?

 

 

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I don't know, Doctor, I don't know. Once Our Many Titted Empress was here and I made Bruno sweep up the scales that had molted off her squamous hide. I bagged them and put them in a tin trash can. At midnight there was an explosion and top of the can flew off, and the scales squirmed back to where they'd fallen off.

Bruno swept them up again, and I put them in the same trash can, poured on five gallons of gasoline and set fire to it. After the fire burned out and the can was cool, I looked in. To find he scales untouched.

Then I threw the scales down a salt-water-disposal well going all the way down to the Ellenberger. You guessed it. Next morning they were back on my floor, just where she'd shed them.

It's tough to get rid of Progressive DNA. Ask Monica. She actually had that blue dress cleaned FIVE times.

 

 

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I have a coat made of MTE scales. I wear it while jogging in the more oppressed parts of town.

 

 

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But why would one expect reactionary prole junk DNA to behave the same as that of an immortal such as our MTE? I would almost denounce you, Comrade Vlad, for implying such, except that I so enjoy attending The PartyTM retreats to Rancho del Rio. There is nothing more calming to me than the blood-curdling screams and sounds of raw flesh softly sizzling over hot coals in the middle of the night.

 

 

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[html]Ah, Meow, you jogging in your Technicolored Scalecoat(tm). I'm sure that it repels even the semiautomatic fire of the muggers. The bullets leap back into the guns. But how do you carry money to pay for say coffee? It would never get out of the coat.

Oh. Silly, silly me.

Thank you, Doctor. I always enjoy your visits here. I'm currently working with Che on a recipe for prole fajitas. Che, being from New York, doesn't understand Mexican cooking as I do. Here's the good bit. I teach the proles how to make the tortillas, and when I have enough to feed my guests, I serve up the prole! It's like <i>The Restaurant at the End of the Universe</i> where the animal comes out and asks what part of it the diner would like to eat.

It takes a fast cook though; tortillas don't stay fresh that long.

I'm still working though on the sour cream. When Nansky is here the sour cream curdles into a white brick indistinguishable from chalk. And the guacamole turns utterly black and deliquesces into a puddle of slime.

That I can handle but after two margaritas Bruno can't tell the difference between the puddle of slime and dear Nansky. And Bruno can tell a cubic zirconium from a blue-white diamond across a football field lit by a tea candle.[/html]

 

 

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Dr. Strangelove wrote:(I always have to chuckle at our enviro-socialist friends who still think that it's made from soy).

Comrade Dr. Strangelove,

You have a very good point. As you are most likely aware, Japanese have a tendency not to die as conveniently early as the national health system would like. However, with demographics showing that deaths would soon outnumber births (happened last year), some progressive thinking to address this matter had long been in demand.

In due time, some years ago Otsuka Pharmacy, 大塚製薬, introduced the first SoyJoy bar (ads here, click on the SoyJoy box; various ads are available beneath the small video frame in the upper right), which apparently has taken off in the US (website). Soy is a staple of the traditional Japanese diet, and now Japanese themselves are.

One local grocery sells them--SoyJoy bars, not Japanese--for ¥118, another for ¥98. I recommend the new strawberry flavour.

Oh, don't forget to wash it down with a bottle of Pocari Sweat, also from Otsuka.

 

 

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[html]I prefer the other Soy Company becoming increasingly popular in the US. I believe it is called Soyland, or Soylent or something like that. Their Soy products are supplemented with other, um, additives which give the food a distinctly salty and sweet flavor. Very tasty. Here is a testimony from a satisfied costumer (a movie actor or fitness guru of some sort, I think):

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value=" name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/html]

 

 

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[html]
Commissar Theocritus wrote:Of course, SJ. Here's how it works. Israel is evil because Israel defends itself. Israel is evil because it is the only democracy. And to wannabe totalitarians that's just evil.

Israel is evil because of its intellectual accomplishments.


Israel is evil b/c she has grass and Hamas doesn't.

Israel is evil b/c she prevents Raelians from having orgies for peace.
<br>Israel is evil b/c her doctors take care of everyone and not just those whom they like.[/html]

 

 

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[html]Rex, there is a problem, and it is esthetic. If we spread the normal People's Tasty Crème on Soylent Green, then the colors will be dreadful. Just awful. Very unappetizing. I propose dying the PTC red, to make a festive canapé. Or perhaps a slice of prole carpaccio between the dollop of PTC and the Soylent Green wafer. I wish we had Che here to give us information on how to do this.

I have it! We could have the PTC stuffed into beets on a steam table!

I keep trying to get Che to cotton to the idea of a franchise chain of restaurants, inferior to Lucrezia's. You know, as Sheraton is inferior to St. Regis. We could call this chain Socrates.

"Get smart and chow down at Socrates! Food for your brain!"

The PTC will have of course hemlock in it.

Is any comrade enough of a chemist or biologist to know if hemlock will work its way into the muscle tissue to be harvested by the time that the prole assumes room temperature?

And by the way, we need a new definition of passing on to the Progressive Paradise in the Sky. Room Temperature lets in Harry Reid, and Lenin knows that and EEG won't tell us anything when Nansky is around. Once while she was passed out I got out my surplus EEG machine and gave Nansky one, and then put the electrodes on a Pecos cantaloupe. I stuck it with a hat pin and it had a more interesting EEG than dear Nansky did.

<i>Bruno</i> has a more interesting EEG than dear Nansky. The plastic papaya on his headdress has a more interesting EEG than dear Nansky.[/html]

 

 

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[html]
Rex wrote:Israel is evil b/c her doctors take care of everyone and not just those whom they like.
Israel is evil because it has modern medicine and it can run its own water plants and power plants and see to its own sewage.

The first rule of a progressive is that competence is discriminatory and should be punished.

I was reading an article in <i>The London Review of Books</i> which talked about admitting Turkey into the EU. They said that the Iron Curtain countries had to be admitted in a hurry out of a sense of guilt of what they'd suffered under Communism. Well, we all know that you don't suffer in heaven, but say for argument that you do suffer under Communism.

I love that thinking. There are gangs of young men, hopped up on drugs, which roam the streets in Sierra Leone and chop off hands and ears. They cut off hands to keep people from voting. I feel so guilty that they are drugged enough to do that. I would never, like a Rethuglican, capture them and put them down with a humane killer.[/html]

 

 

Comrades!

I rarely announce my presence here (after all, i AM the Invisible Polkovnik X), but this is an outrage!

See for yourself:
Image

Now, who in Stalin's sweet name was the genius that decided to label our Islamic allies as "Neo-Kulaks in need of liquidation"??!

May Party's wrath be upon him, may he never see Lenin's smiling face for ruining our relations with such useful.. um.. friends.

 

 

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:The PTC will have of course hemlock in it.

Is any comrade enough of a chemist or biologist to know if hemlock will work its way into the muscle tissue to be harvested by the time that the prole assumes room temperature?

The good news is that hemlock leaves look like parsley and the roots look like parsnips. The bad news is that it works by causing muscle paralysis and eventual asphyxiation. Although, at a low enough dosage, it does have an anti-arthritic effect.

 

 

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Perhaps then strychnine. You die of sensory overload--the slamming of a door can cause fatal nervous exhaustion. In this it sounds like really good, or bad, acid.

But whatever, we do need a second-tier class of restaurants to dispose of the prole who have been disobliging. And when I've run out of stakes.

 

 

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Restaurants? Make them vegie restaurants with stripped afforded by Playboy. That's liberation. Not McDonald's.

 

 

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DDR Kamerad wrote:
Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Superkongrats, Maksim! I remember when you (or maybe it was Red Square) added the red hat to your avatar. Maybe you could add a red cape.

And a red holster, carrying a model of the People's Morale Enforcertm, aka the Tula-Tokarev model 33, something no Ueberkommissar should be without.

And don't forget the stylish red mag pouches to carry two reloads! (I want one of those glorious pistols so much...)

 

 

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[html]
Comrade7.62 wrote:And don't forget the stylish red mag pouches to carry two reloads! (I want one of those glorious pistols so much...)

Alas, I must content myself with the plastic and steel of a pistol made in a German sweat shop. And in an oversized western caliber, to boot. 'Tis but a symptom of how scared they are of us, comrades--to the point of empty colons--to have developed a pistol cartridge that huge. Progressives, happily, are more efficient with their "wonder-nines".
<br>I would be quite content with a copy of the People's Martyr Makertm. I know, it's only marginally longer-ranged than the People's Perforatortm, but I've always liked how they looked.[/html]

 

 

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Although I sadly do not know enough about weaponry, save a smart mouth, I believe that there is a pistol, made for Texas, which is 50 caliber.

Still, we ought to ask Red Star what he uses when he's not kicking down doors at midnight.

 

 

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Citizens,

Can you accessorize with a "wee-upon of mess destruction"?



Publius

 

 

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Can I get baby armor for my boat? What about an insert for my backpack?

 

 

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No, you can't get a baby armor for your boat. Unless it's a boat that fights Zionism.

 

 

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Although I sadly do not know enough about weaponry, save a smart mouth, I believe that there is a pistol, made for Texas, which is 50 caliber.

Theo the Impaler is correct; the paranoid non-progressives have two of them,

The .50AE, which is featured only in the Desert Eagle (I own one of these as well to camouflage my revolutionary aura among my redneck neighbors, but it's only in .44, as I do not feel the need to compensate for something) and a couple of other Magnum autoloaders that are no longer manufactured.

Here is a propaganda film I shot in the interests of further infiltrating myself into the capitalist gun culture:

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value=" name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

And the .500 S&W, which a capitalist neighbor of mine has been pestering me to try out for months.

Still, we ought to ask Red Star what he uses when he's not kicking down doors at midnight.
<br>Probably something along the order of a USAS-12.[/html]

 

 

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I am very impressed by your armamentarium. You do realize of course that since we have arrived at the Progressive World of Next Tuesday that all weapons will be banned and we shall henceforth settle all things with a serious sit-down and a cup of coffee.

When a burglar breaks into your house it will ne necessary for you to inquire why he did it. Was it a bad childhood? Did he not have enough staples to live?

When a Martyr for Islam straps TNT onto his chest, you will need to inquire if he feels threatened by the West and ask what can you do to make him feel at ease?

It is permitted to distance yourself 50' from said Islamist if he reaches for the trigger. Any more might be construed as being insensitive.

 

 

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I am quite aware of the grand gun grab for the Greater Goodtm. My assignment among the lovers of things that go boom and slaughterers of edible animals (thereby defying the State Approved Diet of Beets and Potatoes) among the clueless dollar grabbers (the Ruble will Rise Again--and, hopefully, the Ost-Mark, too) is to bring myself into their confidence, and then squeal on them!

I learned Norwegian, btw, because of the great hero Quisling. Fascist collaborator he was, but do we not encourage our Left-leaning brethren the same in the name of progress?

And, dear Comrade Theo (although you are no more or less dear than Pupovich--I must say these things because he holds the highest standard in egalitarianism), I am again awed by your insidious subversiveness. Coffee sit downs...Hah! Filling their minds with such illusions of a peaceful transfer of power when we all know we would much prefer to rip their guns from their cold, dead hands, JBT style.

And they would very willingly give them to us...they are always shouting "Molon Labe," which, as we have learned from the Greek Progressive Element, means "come and get them!" They even offer to give us the ammunition first!

As far as the burglar scenario is concerned--no worries! In place of the fat, underworked, donut-surfeiting mall cop rejects, we shall put in their place the ever watchful eye of something akin to the Stasi. No one will be burgling on the streets...unless, of course, it is State-sanctioned.

Terrorists? We all know they are simply comrades who have had a bad day. Who hasn't strapped on a Semtex vest and declared Jee-haw on the pastry section in Safeway (to get back at those dastardly Danishes) after a particularly sour committee meeting?

Although how he acquired the Semtex would be a serious matter, seeing that he probably did not fill out the proper BATFE forms prior to getting it.

 

 

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[html]Kamerad, there is much in your sanguinary postings that is close and dear to my heart. As a Made Progressive I of course abhor guns and force, but that's only because people with antiquated notions of <i>meum et tuum</i> might use them. Against me.

As we all know, Progressivism is important because it's fun 'n' easy. "What will come of this?" is something that no Progressive, no true Progressive, will say. Because that means that there is a consequence.

I consider myself a Progressive because I always approach people and smile and tell them of my good intentions and I shame them if they don't think that I have good intentions. And my intentions <i>are</i> good. For my greater good and glory. I personally disdain the abilities of other people and so think that my thoughts and opinions are the ones that matter, an so I must give, that's right, <i>give</i> them to other people who are benighted.

People who are adult and who are responsible for themselves and who, on seeing how life goes, say, "Well, that's what happened," are of no use to me. Because they don't need me as a Progressive.

As a Made Progressive I intend to make the world so safe and caring that no one will have to bother with thinking. All they have to do is feel. And if they feel that their rights and money have been slipping away I'll just give them some happy-clappy words and they'll all feel good again.

I am a Progressive because I play on the fact that people love to be lazy.[/html]

 

 

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I consider myself a Progressive because I always approach people and smile and tell them of my good intentions and I shame them if they don't think that I have good intentions. And my intentions are good. For my greater good and glory. I personally disdain the abilities of other people and so think that my thoughts and opinions are the ones that matter, an so I must give, that's right, give them to other people who are benighted.

There, in a nutshell, is the absolutely flawless philosophy that fuels the "I pledge" video recently released by a gaggle of glitterarti. The platitudes are semantically meaningless, utterly sophomoric (at best), but because they are the product of good intentions they gain parity with the words of Ghandi. Because even though pledging to flush the john only after a bowel movement (rather than after mere urination) mainly reveals a childlike fascination with bodily functions, it will make the world a better place because the intention was good.

Image

 

 

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[html]Oh, Betinov, you're such a cynic. The giltterati's donation is just being...glitterati. Their contribution is just being there. So that the little people can bask in their glow.

Laurie David, the ex-wife of Larry David who produced <i>Seinfeld</i>, drives I believe a Toyota Pious and screeches at people in large vehicles. But as part of the divorce she insisted on the Gulfstream 5. The Holy Gore, PBUH, gives speeches on the evils of greenhouse gasses but insists that the limousine be running during his speech so that it is comfortable for him.

These are big and important people, and they are big and important because they say they are.

Oh. I've come full circle, haven't I?[/html]

 

 

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It should be noted that if the glorious vest is loaded with a small boy it will also double as a Field Masturbatory Device.
Hey, its not my culture, its theirs....

 

 


 

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Where is Pupovich! I think we've found the perfect Kandidat to confirm the glaring inconsistencies of ass temperatures in that global warming study we were discussing in another thread.

 

 

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DDR Kamerad wrote:Where is Pupovich! I think we've found the perfect Kandidat to confirm the glaring inconsistencies of ass temperatures in that global warming study we were discussing in another thread.

I have a better Kandidate. http://ginmar.livejournal.com/

A quotation from her LJ blog:

<i>Fighting against one's own sexism adds to the difficulties. We live,breathe, sweat, speak, shit sexism. It's in our food, our culture, our movies, our commercials, every aspect of our lives. From birth, we're subject to gender training. Yet we're all individuals in a society that treats us as a monolith.</i>

Think "The Femi-Nazi version of The Mime".

--
ZB[/html]

 

 

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We are most certainly doomed if people like that continue to breed... wait, did I say doomed? I meant gifted. Yes, that's the word, gifted.

 

 

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Premier Betty wrote:We are most certainly doomed if people like that continue to breed... wait, did I say doomed? I meant gifted. Yes, that's the word, gifted.

Image

Fortunately, breeding is sexist...

 

 

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Dr. Strangelove, I do take your point. Sex is good, all the time and as much as you want. Abstinence is not an option. And if you make a child you know that that child will use the resources of Gaia, which must be kept in the earth so the earth will pure until in several billion years there are no humans on the earth when it is enveloped in the red giant that the sun will become as it ends its life.

For we are nothing but a cancer on the earth, lower than the spotted owl, the furbish lousewort, or the Stephens kangaroo rat.

So screw, screw, screw, but don't breed, breed, breed. And if you do, know that Planned Parenthood will relieve you of that fetus up to 9 months by hacking it up in utero.

 

 

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Attention Comrades! The fruits of our Collective Creativity has also been featured on Atlas Shrugs!

 

 

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I hope Pamela from Atlas Shrugs will see the light of The People's Cube and become like Pamela Andearson because pornography is liberation. Sex will also help her eliminate the act of thinking, and quickly submit to a socialist revolution.

 

 

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Sex can also aid Big Pharma...all the pox, you know.

 

 

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Sex is simply a good think. People who do not like it, or don't have it, are evil capitalists who focus on money instead of having sex. Also, there's the asexuals which must be involved in a Zionist plot to remove the orgasm.

 

 

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Ah to be young again--to have difficulty standing up. To have trouble moving from behind a counter...

Nah. Easier now.

 

 

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No, no, no--we want the unwashed masses to procreate! That is why socialism calls for deliberately impoverishing the people!

More sex-->more people-->more poverty-->more reliance on welfare our generosity-->we remain in power-->we oppress uphold the revolution-->we take whatever peasant's daughter pleases us-->more sex

It's a glorious cycle!

 

 

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DDR, I do take your point, but to make sure that compliance is sure, you need to make sure that the proles' daughters (and sons at least for the Rancho) are given gift certificates to JifiLobo. Where all those residual resistances will just melt away as that scalpel goes up under the eyelid and swishes around in the pre-frontal lobes.

You might have an easier time than I will though; all you have to do is overcome the resistance of one of the prole girls to you as an individual. Since 97% of men are essentially straight, I walk a fine line between complaisance and incontinence. And if I go as far as incontinence, the proles would be of use only to sit through a Michael Moore movie. After all, what's in the audience ought to match what's on the screen.

 

 


 
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