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Conflict in The Middle East: A Progressive History

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From the beginning of time, there was a place called "Palestine" which was inhabited exclusively by the biggest gift to humankind: Palestinians.

Their culture flourished, their peaceful people prospered, and their model nation was to become the jewel of the world.

Their language was Arabic, their religion was Muslim (pronounced "MOOZ-lem"), but regrettably, all evidence of their governments, their currency, their laws, their scientific, technological, philosophical, and artistic accomplishments were destroyed.

By whom? Keep reading.

In the 1940s, Nazi Germany was determined conquer the world. They had a two-pronged strategy:

1. Exterminate gay men
2. Defeat World Socialism

Led by Hitler, and funded entirely by Prescott Bush, the Nazis mercilessly committed atrocities such as having no concern for global warming and remaining silent on the issue of American slavery reparations. Fortunately, The Soviet People's Armies defeated the fascists - even though they failed to liberate Western Europe in the process.

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As a consequence of the European War, the Jews, as capitalist fascists, needed a place to regroup. And so, they attacked the most vulnerable people in the world: The peaceful Palestinians. Without warning, the Jewish invasion of Palestine commenced. Immediately, neighboring Arab countries tried to defend themselves against this invasion, but their pacifist ways led to a quick defeat at the hands of the violent and blood-thirsty Jews - who also exterminated most of the Palestinians.

And yet, the surrounding Palestinian/Muslim population remained at peace. Frequently, the cry "Peace be upon you, Jew!" was heard from the antiwar sanctuaries called "mosques". Meanwhile, the Jews named their entity "Israel", and named their imperialistic goal of Middle East (and world) domination "Zionism".

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Over the years, Zionist aggression has taken many forms. Certainly, the 1967 and 1973 wars of conquest were a major component of their strategy. But, more recently, they have been sending Jewish teenagers into the Muslim lands to detonate themselves as suicide bombers. (If you are unfamiliar with this, may I remind you that the Jews also successfully concealed the history of the Nation of Palestine.)

The Israeli parliament (called "Arabfrei" in German) has made the destruction of Arab Nations their only goal. Never mind that Arab countries were repeatedly offering land to Israel to make peace. (Remember, Arabs are Sun People, and peace is the essence of their nature.) When Egypt offered the Sinai Peninsula to Israel in 1967, for instance, the Zionist response was "Death to Arabs! Death to Muslims!" And the bombings continued, as Jews murdered Arabs on buses in Cairo, in clubs in Damascus, and in mosques in Mecca.

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Then came "9/11" and everything changed. The Israeli secret service flew hijacked airplanes into the World Trade Center, The Pentagon, and a mosque constructed in a Pennsylvania corn field. (Assuming, of course, that the events of "9/11" happened at all.) The Amerikkkan president, George W. Bush, grandson of Nazi Prescott Bush, immediately exploited "9/11" to ally with the Zionist capitalist fascists in an all-out war against Islam, The Arabs, People of Color everywhere, and the Transgendered Community.

The Holocaust began in Iraq, where Bush began to conveyor-belt our children into the Middle East Death Machine. Army Rangers, Marines, and all the other military branches comprised of our helpless little babies, were sent into the grim muddled morass of the Middle Eastern quagmire. Without a plan, without hope, and without a shred of decency, the monsters of the military went to work in the new Abu Ghraib extermination camp, though they paused when a single brave woman, Mother Cindy Sheehan, demanded that our children be returned to our bosoms.

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But the slaughter continued. The Amerikkkan drive for oil and the Zionist instinct for violent racial oppression worked in tandem to methodically annihilate our Islamic brothers and sisters. The Zionist rockets, thousands of them, were raining on what was left of Palestine and Lebanon -- until one day, a plea was heard from Lebanon. "Please, let us live in peace." This cry was echoed in the highest levels of government in the beleaguered Syria and Iran. "Please, can't we all just get along?"

Enraged, the Zionist war machine arose, and swore to obliterate any remnant of the Muslim world. The bloated Zionist pigs openly stated that their goal was world domination, and would not stop until their racist "Star of David" flew on top of every capital from Casablanca to Jakarta. Then they mercilessly attacked the Nations of Palestine and Lebanon, explicitly singling out civilians for death, torture, and the cruelest medical experiments. Worse than Hitler, indeed; this Jewish apple didn't fall far from the Nazi tree.

The future is very grim. Amerikkka's complicity removed the stabilizing influence of Saddam Hussein and his benevolent heirs. The cries of anguish from the European capitals are being ignored. The progressive demonstrations are not being effective.

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But we can hope. We can hope for a return to a protective anti-Zionist umbrella of a reinvigorated Soviet Union under the leadership of President Putin. We can hope that the Iranian people will defend themselves from the Zionist nuclear threat. We can hope that the growing Islamic populations of Europe will be translated into political and military control. We can hope that assistance from a "white knight" such as Kim Jong-Il will be forthcoming.

And we can hope for the quick destruction of the fascist, capitalist, racist, homophobic, and sexist Amerikkka, the world's second-biggest threat.

The world's biggest threat is Zionism.

 

 

Finally the truth is revealed! I will send this to all my progressive friend units at once!

 

 

Sir,
I'm surprized you folks didn't give the proper reference for your "progressive history".    That piece is a direct copy from the current materials produced by the Iranian Ministry of Education for grades 7-9 history courses.  I understand our DOE is in negotiation with their Iranian counterpart to make use of this scholarly work for our own publick schools.

 

 

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There is no problem so large, that it cannot be fixed with enough dynamite.

 

 

I dont get this.. is this a joke? almost everything is wrong in that essay

 

 

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laffalot wrote:Sir,
I'm surprized you folks didn't give the proper reference for your "progressive history".    That piece is a direct copy from the current materials produced by the Iranian Ministry of Education for grades 7-9 history courses.  I understand our DOE is in negotiation with their Iranian counterpart to make use of this scholarly work for our own publick schools.

Comrade Laffalot,

Permit me to correct your rather bourgeois if well-intentioned correction. For surely you were unaware that that Iranian material was actually created by myself, Socialist Reality Truth Creator, 2nd Class, Pyongyang, while accompanying our nuclear engineers and missile specialists on a covert peaceful mission to Iran some years ago to help develop their nuclear energy--which is juche in spirit--and missile systems for transporting medicines, foodstuffs, and educational materials across the wide empty spaces of that resource-poor nation which has born the indignities of colonialist exploitation for far too long.

Though we had trouble locating Dear Leader's cognac in-country, the caviar was excellent. The mullahs' inability to provide a number of proletarian females willing to share in sexual unity the glories of the Revolution did, however, cast something of a pall on the project, not least because few of us DPRK repesentatives were willing to embrace Islam to be granted access to those handy temporary marriages of a couple hours' duration.

 

 

Zis Pro- Fesser iz Veri Goot He cood Haf ownly Learnt Dis Grate een-Phor -May-shun at Gool ag I am Speech-Less wif Tere een Eye!!!!

 

 

thinkthinkthink wrote:I dont get this.. is this a joke? almost everything is wrong in that essay

Workers!

again i call for the investigation of this "comrade".  first of all, his/her/its'/thier name sets off claxon alarms louder then the ones we get as we submerge.

thought is death! war is peace! we have always been at war with oceania!

never negate the power of the people's press.  words are weapons.

does anyone have an extra shovel for thinkx3?  i gave mine to mr, huh?

confirm distance to target

one ping only

 

 


 

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If communists in any country, and (especially those most affected by the current vortex of contradictions), were not to take into account the rapid and dramatic changes in the international situation and their interpenetration with the class struggle in their country, and if they were not to develop the policies, slogans and tactics that corresponded to these changes, then "persevering in the strategic orientation" could become a smokescreen covering conservatism and passivity and the "strategic goal" will remain mere wishful thinking.We must act now.... Let Hillary speak and use her vision. We must follow blindly.

Hillary;Must Advance Amidst Intensifying Contradictions

The Revolutionary Internationalist Movement has existed for 93 years and its accomplishments are undeniable. But we can by no means rest content with what we have achieved until now. As [an internal report put it in] April 1st 2006, "Thus our Movement is placed before a historic opportunity and challenge. Will the CLINTON's be able to step forward and lead the masses of people in resisting the imperialist onslaught, and through the course of the struggle further advance the cause of the world proletarian revolution?????? YES is the answer..
In this light it is impossible to overstate the importance that our Movement{CFC} or {KFC} has for the people of the world and the importance of the decisions and actions (or lack of ) that we take in the coming period. In short, the Democratic Party {Left} is facing its greatest test since its formation.
No progress is painless and every step forward, especially at critical junctures, can only come amidst fierce struggle, not only with the Republicans but also against counter-currents that inevitably arise in opposition to a correct understanding. SMERSH pointed out that it is not enough to grasp the correct line, it is necessary to grasp it "Firmly". He went on to say, to not grasp the party line firmly means to not grasp it at all. If our Movement is to play the role that it must, it is necessary that we "grasp firmly"  FIRMLY our BALLS  both OF THEM. The correct firm, Political and ideological line that we have been forging and our understanding of the favourable, if contradictory, international situation. We also need to FIRMLY grasp the possibility of achieving breakthroughs precisely in connection with the current intensification of contradictions and fight to preserve and maintain this understanding. "NEW YORK TIMES" INCLUDED.  Finally, and most importantly, we need to find the means and $$$$$$ to link this advanced understanding with the masses and push the whole revolutionary process forward an onward to 2008.
COMRADE CLINTON
SMERSH HEAD of KGB. sec. 9.

 

 

a libral from oregon
wow this is really anti-semetic

 

 

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a libral from oregon wrote:wow this is really anti-semetic

Thought Criminal Alert!!!

 

 


 

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Some one has not been drinking his "PEOPLES OVATINE"! What a shame, and i thought that our comrades from THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF OREGON as a shining star in the night sky of the progressive universe. Now he must be sent off to "learn" what it is to love BIG BROTHER OBOMA.

Down with the BUSHITLER, and the ZIONIST KING of ISRAEL!

 

 


 

Comrades,

We must help these brave freedom fighters! Collect all of your worn out shoes and send them to the residents of Gaza, to throw at the Zionist pigs and Bu$hitler.

 

 


 

first of all where do you go off calling yourself socialist/communist website, everything here is racist or offensive and your site is a joke to everyone.
this post is not only the biggest and pointless lie in history and is also offensive to all people no mather of skin or religion and the fact that you agree with this post its an insult to communism and everything it stands for this is not "for the people from the people" its racist shit! and i think you don't need to hide behind this kind of theme from what i have seen until know you are just a national socialist website in hiding and you want some kind of post-soviet "aryan nation" and what the fuck is all this soviet like theme this post was a pile of shit and no soviet leader would even acknowledge this as a "soviet ideal". get a life you Nazi pieces of shit

 

 

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Dear Your (sic) Not respectin people,

Thanks for the compliment!
It's not often that a trolling commie dupe looking for real commie fellow travelers calls The People's Cube "Nazi pieces of shit" and as a matter of fact, I do believe you're the first! Congratulations!
I would give you a beet and a shovel, but I'll leave that to Pinkie.
You must hold a PhD in Social Justice but don't have enough spare change in your pocket to pay attention to details....like ummmm....like this is....how would you say?....ahh...A SATIRE SITE! Yes, that's it! Satire.

Just to clue you, you clueless dumbfuck of human detritus, we here at the Cube find Communism to be just as abhorrent as Nation Socialism, Islamofascism and all the libtards of the Democratic Party.

This does not mean you're not welcome here. Au contrairé! We embrace you with open hearts for we love to be corrected on the error of our ways with such enlightened comments like this lovely ungrammatical run-on sentence:

this post is not only the biggest and pointless lie in history and is also offensive to all people no mather of skin or religion and the fact that you agree with this post its an insult to communism and everything it stands for this is not "for the people from the people" its racist shit!


Please come back and post some more! We hold you in high esteem because you're probably high and loaded with esteem. You're priceless!

Hope 'N Change,

Laika

 

 

look i understand the fact that this site is a joke but people are buying this shit don't think every one is as "smart" you are and understand the joke here because i didn't understand the funny part of jews with swastikas you really think jewish people that just "come around" this site and laugh at this shit!! it is really offensive and you should see how this kind of things effect people.

 

 

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Oh, I get it now. This whole site needs to be dumbed down so all of it can be understood by stupid people! Of course! That's basic Equality & Fairness 101.

I agree with Your Not respectin people. I too am offended by jokes where I don't get the punchline, just as I'm offended by bad grammar and punctuation, but that's for another post.

The fact remains that if YNrp doesn't understand a joke, then he's clearly entitled to an explanation tailored in terms he can comprehend. People shouldn't have to figure out jokes for themselves. Oh sure, it's all well and good if Laika gets it, but what about me? What about YNrp? Is it fair that Laika should understand a joke while others don't?

Polls show that millions of Americans are without the comprehension needed to understand jokes--and many of those people are poor minorities who, even though they have cable TV with Comedy Central, still don't understand the jokes because they have not been provided with the tools they need to enjoy an informed laugh. That's why we need a government program (with more government funds appropriated) to help everyone, even the stupidest and dim-wittiest, fully understand why they should think something on the Cube is funny.

FROM EACH ACCORDING TO HIS SMARTS TO EACH ACCORDING TO HIS STUPIDITY!

 

 

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Dear Your Not respectin people.

Yes, I really do think Jewish people who "come around" this site laugh at this shit.
Since we've discussed satire already, I humbly beseech you to scroll up to the post by "laffalot" and then we'll go on to the next subject; irony.
Are you familiar with the term "irony"? The reason I ask is because you're living proof.

Obama 2012!

Laika

 

 

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The explanation is simple. The cartoons are not ours but were made by "progressive" cartoonists who hate Israel, America, capitalism, Western culture, and the Jews. Please direct their inquiries toward them.

The latest example: published in the "progressive" New York Times in the end of March this year.

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Comrade Not Respectin, I am pleased to see a person as intelligent and insightful as you here.

After all, night after night of hearing Theocritus sharing Bruno's exploits in drag singing Judy Garland songs, or Pinkie wax melodic over her latest Obama fantasy, or me blathering about my infestation of Trotsky Monsters it is refreshing to see a genuine made progressive such as yourself posting.

Please, keep sharing your enlightened worldview with us. And remember, pack warm clothing, stout boots and a shovel. You will be needing them. Bubba, my Che Monster tells me there is a shortage in Gulag 997.

 

 

ammm... sorry if you miss understood me.
1.i am not American, i am from Israel
2.the reason why i don't find this funny is because i live with the actual Israeli
life every day.
3.i am not jewish but i still see insults on both religion and the country itself

P.S. i can take a joke really, i think there where tons of funny things here but this was no where near funny

 

 

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Comrade, you must report for reeducation at once. After getting a Jiffi-Lobo naturally. Have you experience digging beets? No? That is ok, soon you will have lots of experience with that.

 

 

Do you really have nothing serious to say?
please do i am open to anything you have to say if its worth my time to read it

 

 

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Good lord!

Here, I'll try and make it even simpler.

1) Ahmadinejad had a cartoon contest for all the Israeli haters. See some of the above entries. Then, for God's sake click on the link. After viewing what comes after the cartoons, lecture us more about respect.
2) Ahmadinejad is a man who denies the Holocaust. Please note all the Nazi comparisons. This is irony.
3) We are mocking and spoofing the obvious idiocy of those who support such twisted and warped actions and ideas.

My questions for Your Not respectin people

1) Do you support the ideals of communism? Your words: "fact that you agree with this post its an insult to communism and everything it stands for this is not "for the people from the people"
2) If you do support communism, is 100,000,000 people murdered enough for you? That's the real legacy of communism. A simple "yes" or "no" will suffice.
3) Does irony and satire offend you? Apparently genocide, lies, and communism doesn't or you'd understand.

It's clear that you're not Jew and you don't have a clue.
Hey, that rhymes!
Whoop de do!

 

 

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Final Troll Scroll:

Laika 3

NRrp 0


Send in the next troll please.

 

 

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Damn it, Laika!!! You bitch slapped this troll so bad he'll never come back!!! I wanted a turn at this infiltrator.

--
ZB

 

 

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Oy vay!

Come back little troll, come back!!! Your posts are valued and respected here! Do not be troubled by the harsh Space Dog ridicule! We need your enlightened mind to shine as a beacon on the Paff of Trufe!!

 

 

Your Not respectin people wrote:Do you really have nothing serious to say?
please do i am open to anything you have to say if its worth my time to read it

Comrades, we must stop disrespecting this people. We must remember the principles of brother Lawrence Kolberg concerning the stages of cognitive development. Remember, seventy five percent of this people worldwide will never advance beyond stage four and have formal logic ability.

As my grandfather once said to me, "you can help ignorance with liberal progressive communist indoctrination program but there ain't a damn thing you can do for stupidity, except maybe shoot him."

Another thing my grandfather say is, "Never argue with stupid man, it makes too much difficulty for other comrades to know who is who."

 

 


 

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Comrade Buffoon -

I'd appreciate if you don't put the People's Cube stamp on images with ethnic slurs that can be interpreted both ways, especially that they have no redeeming value. There's little in this picture for an outsider that would make him think it's even remotely funny. Please don't make us look like the Jake Knotts of South Carolina who thought he was being funny.

 

 

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fopauxhall.jpg

Commrad Vilhelm wrote:As my grandfather once said to me, "you can help ignorance with liberal progressive communist indoctrination program but there ain't a damn thing you can do for stupidity, except maybe shoot him."

Another thing my grandfather say is, "Never argue with stupid man, it makes too much difficulty for other comrades to know who is who."

These are wise words comrade. My Grandfather said, " Beauty is only skin deep but ugly goes clear to the bone". He was a capitalist and therefore very shallow but I always believed he would have made a wonderful progressive which is evidenced by the similar thought patterns with you Grandfather.

 

 

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Red Square wrote:Comrade Buffoon -

I'd appreciate if you don't put the People's Cube stamp on images with ethnic slurs that can be interpreted both ways, especially that they have no redeeming value. There's little in this picture for an outsider that would make him think it's even remotely funny. Please don't make us look like the Jake Knotts of South Carolina who thought he was being funny.

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WILCO

Your right.

This was meant to be a post and I screwed up putting it here before considering how it would be perceived.

Fire adjusted...

 

 

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Buffoon - it WAS a blog post. I moved it here into this thread because it would fit the rest of the content. The Party has means to move, merge, delete and alter. Do not make a mistake of forgetting about the Party's omnipresence and omnipotence.

 

 

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Red Square wrote:Buffoon - it WAS a blog post. I moved it here into this thread because it would fit the rest of the content. The Party has means to move, merge, delete and alter. Do not make a mistake of forgetting about the Party's omnipresence and omnipotence.

And then I go and post it again (like I meant it to be) not knowing of the move...

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Don't worry, comrade. No harm done. The Party is right behind you. Watching. Closely.

 

 

Comrades and Party Members,

It is quite clear that progressives should read a disclaimer before entering site and should sign party agreement to understand they may indeed be offended and that they may become confused and frustrated upon entering the party site.

An IQ test should be administered and level access be enacted as it requires an IQ higher than the average progressive to "get it" here at the cube. The lowest level access should include only stories and pictures of the land of rainbows, fairy dust and lollipops that the typical progressive can handle.

I believe that this would be EQUAL and FAIR to the dimwitted progressives. You have shamefully shown that you are smarter than most and we will not have any of that in the world of equality.

 

 

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If there were no Israel then we would not even be having this discussion and no one would be offended.

Comrades, we must assist Iran in obtaining nuclear weapons. Let us continue to follow Dear Leader's example by looking the other way. It is our only hope against the Zionists.

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Damn, Laika! Trespassing trolls beware. Maybe we should put up one of these:

pooch.jpg

 

 

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Public Disarmament Czar wrote:If there were no Israel then we would not even be having this discussion and no one would be offended.

Comrades, we must assist Iran in obtaining nuclear weapons. Let us continue to follow Dear Leader's example by looking the other way. It is our only hope against the Zionists.

Dear Comrade Czar
As the General Secretary of Progressive Audio/Visual Development, allow me to point out that your statement harbors several inconsistencies with the Party stance.

1. There IS NO Israel. What you refer to as "Israel' is in fact an illegal state and has not been recognized by any of their peaceful Muslim neighbors whom the Jews stole that land from.

2. Our Dear Leader's administration and those close to him have denounced the Jews and their Zionist ways (thank you Hillary!)

3. Our real hope against the "Zionazis" are real patriots, like Helen Thomas. People who are willing to sacrifice their career and public image to further the cause of de-Jewification of Palestine by reminding the Jews to go back to their real home(e.g. Poland, Germany, 2nd and LaBrea etc.)

Thank you and Marxspeed!

 

 

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Red Square wrote:The explanation is simple. The cartoons are not ours but were made by "progressive" cartoonists who hate Israel, America, capitalism, Western culture, and the Jews. Please direct their inquiries toward them.

The latest example: published in the "progressive" New York Times in the end of March this year.

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Oliphant is still living?! Peace be upon him.
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