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Frequent computer crashes happen because people press the W key too much. That key had been removed from all White House keyboards on my orders! Every time you press a W key, Bush knows what you're thinking... Also don't listen to static in your phone - you never know who may be playing with your brain. Some folks did that and wound up voting for W.

- Al Gore, People's Inventor

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THOUGHT POLICE

Thought Police
Just because you're paranoid that doesn't mean we're not watching you.
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