var maxfactNo = 67
var factNo
var fact = new Array()
fact[0] = 'FACT: Every now and then, Obama opens his eyes and the world springs into existence.'
fact[1] = 'FACT: When a tree falls in the forest, Obama hears it.'
fact[2] = 'FACT: Obama can clap with one hand.'
fact[3] = 'FACT: Prometheus was punished for plagiarizing Obama.'
fact[4] = 'FACT: Obama can make a journey of a thousand miles without a single step.'
fact[5] = 'FACT: Socks worn by Obama are used for climbing walls in Spiderman movies.'
fact[6] = 'FACT: Hillary Clinton dropped out of the race when she learned Obama´s true name.'
fact[7] = 'FACT: When Obama squints into the distance, he can see next week´s lottery winning numbers. But he never plays because that would mean poverty of ambition.'
fact[8] = 'FACT: Obama can calculate your guilt just by looking at the numbers in your checkbook.'
fact[9] = 'FACT: A mic into which Obama has spoken, heals asbestos-related disorders and colorectal cancer by direct application.'
fact[10] = 'FACT: Every time Obama talks about change, a baby diaper becomes clean and a homeless person´s cup fills up with nickels.'
fact[11] = 'FACT: Every time Obama talks about hope, coma patients regain consciousness and chant "We are the ones we´ve been waiting for."'
fact[12] = 'FACT: Obama´s famous stare once converted 15 Islamic fundamentalists into secular progressives, all of whom are currently employed by Countrywide Home Loans.'
fact[13] = 'FACT: Obama is 50% typical White person.'
fact[14] = 'FACT: Obama´s real mother was young John Kerry who reproduces asexually when coming into contact with foreign Marxists.'
fact[15] = 'FACT: Obama often says "uh" in his speeches in order to irritate Bill O´Rilley who hangs onto his every word.'
fact[16] = 'FACT: Obama overpays his taxes because he believes the government will find a better use for his money than he ever could.'
fact[17] = 'FACT: When Obama rids the world of nuclear weapons, the red button in his office will control the thermostats in American homes.'
fact[18] = 'FACT: Obama brings change to the world every time he closes his eyes and imagines that Twin Towers never existed.'
fact[19] = 'FACT: After a hearty meal Obama has been known to send off a tiny ripple of hope. This tiny ripple of hope in Chicago can cause change throughout the world.'
fact[20] = 'FACT: When Obama relaxes at home with his family he switches to a British accent.'
fact[21] = 'FACT: Our universe is held together by the force of Michelle Obama´s benevolent willpower, but her patience is running thin.'
fact[22] = 'FACT: Michelle Obama has saved humanity from destruction many times and is slightly annoyed that we haven´t returned the favor.'
fact[23] = 'FACT: Monica Lewinsky owns "I Barack for Obama" bumper sticker.'
fact[24] = 'FACT: Everything Obama touches begins to vote Democrat.'
fact[25] = 'FACT: More dead people voted for Obama than for any other Democrat candidate in the history of Chicago politics.'
fact[26] = 'FACT: The tingle that crawled up Chris Matthews´ leg has taken control of his brain and is reporting a full preparedness to take over the world.'
fact[27] = 'FACT: Obama can make things disappear just like David Copperfield can, but he hates taking things away from the community.'
fact[28] = 'FACT: US Mail Service published Obama´s resume on a new first class stamp.'
fact[29] = 'FACT: In the movies, Obama´s part is played by Robert Redford.'
fact[30] = 'FACT: Obama can inflate a hot air balloon in one blow. He does it for the children.'
fact[31] = 'FACT: Obama used to spell his name as Ubama but changed it to avoid confusion with Usama bin Laden.'
fact[32] = 'FACT: When Obama fixes his gaze on the clouds, he is reading his next great line from the big teleprompter in the sky, which is unseen to ordinary humans.'
fact[33] = 'FACT: Obama wrote "Stairway to Heaven" and many other songs popular among the downtrodden.'
fact[34] = 'FACT: The main point of Al Gore´s book "Earth in the Balance" is that climate change can be averted if we keep Obama emotionally balanced.'
fact[35] = 'FACT: Obama visited Benjamin Franklin in a dream and told him how to live his life serving the community, but all that Franklin could remember was, how to fly a kite.'
fact[36] = 'FACT: Scientists discovered that a constant repetition of "hope" and "change" increases the size of penis in male patients by up to three inches.'
fact[37] = 'FACT: Any sentence containing the name "Obama" and ending in a question mark has been determined to be racist. The only exceptions are rhetorical questions like "Is there any way Obama could be more perfect?"'
fact[38] = 'FACT: Obama smokes so you don´t have to.'
fact[39] = 'FACT: Obama exhales rare gases that help replenish the ozone layer and neutralize the industrial pollution.'
fact[40] = 'FACT: Obama once downed a Fox News satellite simply by clicking on a universal TV remote in his living room.'
fact[41] = 'FACT: When Obama speaks about universal healthcare, the risk of cardiovascular diseases decreases by 58%, and the risk of cancer decreases by 60%.'
fact[42] = 'FACT: In Portland, Oregon, Obama fed a multitude of 75 thousand with five government subsidy forms and two rolls of red tape.'
fact[43] = 'FACT: An unkind word about Obama´s family serves as a passkey to the hottest rings of Hell.'
fact[44] = 'FACT: When Obama smiles, somewhere in America a door opens to an abortion clinic.'
fact[45] = 'FACT: When Obama claps his hands, a child is born in a Third World country.'
fact[46] = 'FACT: When Obama stomps his foot, a sweatshop closes in Asia, with thousands of kids in the streets asking America to send them money, food, and medicine.'
fact[47] = 'FACT: Deep down, everyone´s an Obama.'
fact[48] = 'FACT: When the people learn to vote themselves money from the public trough, Obama will appear.'
fact[49] = 'FACT: Obama is not exactly what he seems, nor is he otherwise.'
fact[50] = 'FACT: Obama doesn´t seek the truth, he puts an end to hurtful opinions.'
fact[51] = 'FACT: It takes a wise man to use own words, but an even wiser man to use words spoken by others. And then there´s Obama.'
fact[52] = 'FACT: The beginner´s mind sees many opportunities in America. The expert´s mind sees few opportunities. Then there´s Obama´s mind.'
fact[53] = 'FACT: To those who can correctly commiserate with the downtrodden, the whole universe surrenders.'
fact[54] = 'FACT: Obama´s economic plan: No taxes, no progress. Little taxes, little progress. Great taxes, great progress.'
fact[55] = 'FACT: The fundamental delusion of humanity is to suppose that Obama is not an illusion.'
fact[56] = 'FACT: If you wish for true love, learn to love Obama.'
fact[57] = 'FACT: Obama´s message of hope: when you reach rock bottom, start digging.'
fact[58] = 'FACT: When Obama was five he fixed Social Security, but George W. Bush broke it again on purpose.'
fact[59] = 'FACT: In second grade Obama developed a concrete plan to save the children. When George W. Bush heard about it, he killed the children and exiled Obama´s family to Hawaii.'
fact[60] = 'FACT: When Obama was born, George Bush issued an order to write "Hussein" on his birth certificate, hoping that it would traumatize young Obama for life.'
fact[61] = 'FACT: Obama wrote the United States Constitution that gave all power to the downtrodden, but George W. Bush replaced it with a version that gives all power to corporations.'
fact[62] = 'FACT: Obama owns an expensive Sleep Number Bed but sleeps on an off-brand mattress in the corner in order to be down with the masses.'
fact[63] = 'FACT: When Obama buys caviar he always tries to get the one that is runny and tastes fishy, because that´s the kind of caviar that the downtrodden eat.'
fact[64] = 'FACT: When Obama´s children get sick, he buys them the cheapest generic drugs. It helps him better to commiserate with the downtrodden.'
fact[65] = 'FACT: Obama´s bank once offered him a low 5% mortgage but he refused as he wanted to experience the bitterness of the other America.'
fact[66] = 'FACT: Tony Rezko once offered Obama a sweetheart land deal, but Obama said "no" because he wanted his family to stay within the community of which he was the organizer.'
fact[67] = 'FACT: Obama once had a chance to save 10% on car insurance by switching to Geico but he said "no" because that would mean a sellout to corporate interests.'
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